Are you a good mother?

I tried so hard.

I think I'm a good mother now. And an excellent grandmother.

I'm a good mother and a very good grandmother. I don't think I could have done any more than I've done.

I thought I was the best mother ever when my DD1 was born and just did everything by the book, only waking to feed and be adorable even in hospital and going on to be the sweetest natured, easiest to care for Mabel Lucie Atwell baby ever.

I got my come-uppance when DD2 arrived, screamed and threw up non-stop from day 1, and generally behaved like something from The Omen for a full 6 months. She was banished on her first night from the hospital nursery because she was waking the other babies - I followed the horrendous din and found her bawling in her little crib in the staff kitchen.

All 3 of mine have turned out well though, and don't cross the road to avoid me, so I would guess I'm good enough!

I wish, but I tried!

Possibly tried too hard.

I was a good mom.Im very proud of how my son turned out. I'm not a grandma but want to be. I wasn't one of those huggy,sit in my lap and let me sing you to sleep type moms. I was young.It was all business and do it by the book behavior from me.Luckily he was well behaved and a easy child. always wanted to please me. Hope to get to rock and cuddle with a grandchild!

Good enough, I hope. I made plenty of mistakes when mine were little, and felt guilty about it. Last week, my eldest son commented that he can't really remember being younger than seven, but he can tell how he was treated by the way I treat my baby grandson. Phew...swerved that one, then!

Not a very good mother first time round - thought that this entailed good food, clean clothes, clean home, etc., etc., rather than fun and affection. Was probably suffering a bit with post-natal depression.

Seven years later, second time around, a good enough mother though by no means perfect.

I have never claimed to be anything but a mother. I must have got it right because I have never had a cross word with DC and they are in their 40s. They sometimes ask for my input especially on medical issues and I am entrusted with caring for their precious DC

You have never had a cross word with them?!!!!!!

How have you managed that?

I still shout at my son on occasions. Quite justifiably of course.

Don't know jingl, I guess we are just nice people. I really have never fallen out with them

But when they were little? You must have got cross sometimes!

No, they were good children.

I think I was a good mother; well my own mother always told me I was! I think I was perhaps a little strict, keeping a tight ship, and now, watching my own children with theirs, I wish I had maybe spent more time reading, playing and generally being more laid back, although perhaps I have forgotten doing all those things. I have really good relationships with all 3 daughters so I must have done something right?

I have a good relationship with both daughters, they tell me they couldn't have had a better Mother so I must have done something right too. I don't interfere in their lives but we share a lot together and they both know I am always there if they need me.

I think I was a rubbish mother, lazy, disorganised and shouty, with a house like a tip. However my DDs insist that I was the best Mum ever and still am and the DGC appear to be equally besotted, although I often shout at them too - it does no good - they think it is hilarious when I 'go off on one'.

I only had the luxury of being a full time mum for a few months and then was working part time then full time whilst also helping sick relatives, being involved with various community groups and undertaking further education (night school) so it was essential that the children were as self sufficient and independent as possible. I think being capable of looking after themselves and responsible for their own 'stuff' stood them in good stead in their college & Uni days and in later life. It also meant that our family together time could be spent talking and having fun rather than me running around clearing up after them or complaining about chores not done.

I had a hyper-critical DM myself and so my parenting style (if I had such a thing) was to praise whenever possible and restrict criticism to the odd remark such as 'not your best effort but good enough, maybe try (whatever) next time'. I also have a belief that you should never let your offspring believe that your own happiness is entirely dependent on what they say or do. Even if that is true it is far too big a burden to place upon them when they should be prioritising their own and THEIR children's well being.

Good enough, I think because my children are lovely adults. But there are things that I look back on and wish I had done differently.

I certainly think that I'm a better granny than I was a mother, much more laid back, less stressed and able to see the bigger picture. But that comes with age and experience.

I think that if one's children are good parents you've probably done a good job.

MiceElf, that's what my mum used to say to me and I always thought she was vindicating her 'mothering' of me ( which I have mentioned before). On that basis, I was fantastic!

I think we all probably do our best at the time and no one can ask for more.

Granny23 in glad I'm not the only one who feels she was a rubbish mother! There are many, many things I wish I had done differently. My children are lovely adults but I can't take credit for that. They also had their own problems and some of them, but not all, were my fault. The only thing I think I got right was to love them absolutely and unconditionally and I hope they continue to know that - but it doesn't stop me giving my views when I don't agree with them (another thread I think). I think I am a much better granny than I was a mother and I am still striving to make peace with the past.

Phew, that's all a bit heavy! I think the truth is I'm much happier than I was when my children were small, and that makes it easier to be a good granny. And I think I'm a better mother now as well.

I've always loved being a Mum and still do (plus now being a Grandmother) I'm sure there are things I could have done differently and those I got right. My three DDs are all caring, hardworking people with whom I have very good relationships and they and their SO seem to enjoy spending time with myself and DH. We do disagree sometimes but that makes things interesting, but never enough to fall out with each other. So, hopefully as far as they are concerned I was/am a good Mum.

we all started off as new mums..being a mum doesnt come with a handbook although we do pick up traits from our own mum on how we were treated as a child...we all did the best we can in bringing our children up regardless thinking were being a good or rubbish mum...yes we may wish we had done things better...hindsight is a wonderful thing...your a mum be proud..

All we can ask is to be a 'good enough mum'. In my professional life I have seen so pretty screwed up children from supposed perfect parents, often strangely enough professionals.
My mother was the wrong mother for me but she was a good grandmother to my children who adored her. Mind you when my daughter got her PhD my mother said "shame she is a girl"!

I've never claimed to be a good mother.

I loved being a mother, especially when they were little. motherhood still brings rewards and challenges but I guess the only people who can judge what kind of mother I was/am are my children.