Who cares about becoming invisible?

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She often drives me mad but today Janet Street Porter wrote (in the Daily Mail) about the reality for women like us and said that to pretend it's all glamour and adventure is to live in a dreamworld. Hear, hear, Janet!

Here is a nice unicorn horn, but there is no indication of how loud it is.

I know, Galen, but you were asking about getting one which played the grand march from Aida...

I'm not a car. I'm a scooter. Peep peep. Peep peep. My horn goes peep peep peep!

Didn't they ban those 'musical' car horns? Still worth a try with a mobility scooter, though - some of them are so quiet they can creep up on you and give you quite a fright when you're on foot...

I'm sure you could have a bespoke horn, Galen, though it might cost a small fortune. It would clear the street!

Worth a try, Galen. Can I be there when you try it?

I wonder if I can get a horn that plays the grand march from Aida?
People would get out of the way of chariots, elephants and dancing girls. Wouldn't they?

Galen: I can sympathise with the sort of invisibility that you suffer, too,
My suggestion: get yourself a very loud but very distinctive sort of horn to let people know that you are there!
I am very fortunate in not needing (yet) a scooter or crutches, but even when out on my bike I have this problem with other road users, usually either pedestrians or people on horses. If you can find an audible warning that is potentially amusing, I think that most people will acknowledge your presence and give you some room.
When I depend totally on my bicycle bell, most pedestrians either don't hear it, or they panic to the extent that they throw their companions into the ditch! Nowadays, if the bell doesn't work, I try coughing out loud, or simply shouting "hello" way before I reach them. It gets a much better response. That said, I don't often cycle in town centres / pedestrian areas, so I don't know how my suggestions would work in those surroundings. If you try it, let us know

I can sympathise as well. When I was at school I used to be teased about being thin with no figure. I never felt attractive either.
Now I'm obese, can't be bothered with makeup and definitely past it and I don't care.
The reason I don't like being invisible is because I can't get past people when I'm on my scooter and people don't see me and try to knock me over if I'm walking with my crutches.
Making my taxi invisible is the last straw!
Have I become a Klingon with their cloaking device?

Mamacaz I also recognise a great deal of what you expressed in your first paragraph.
I have had more confidence since I was 50 than I ever had before. No real reason why. Although at the age of 53, with the help of the OU I found out I was dyslexic. This made a big difference. I learnt that my failings, low performance in school exams were not down to being stupid. I really was intelligent but had some very specific difficulties with visual memory and other stuff.

You are certainly not invisible on here. Your posting style is witty and very much to the point.

Mammacaz, I'm sorry for your tears! You are a survivor and, if I've read your post right, you've grown into yourself and overcome those earlier feelings of invisibility. Congratulations! I can understand that - I hit 30 and felt nothing but relief that (then) the pressure was off me to conform to type. In fact, I've never wanted to BE visible and have my own theory about invisibility. I do want to feel relevant as I get older and want to be as interesting/interested/active in my 70s and 80s as I can be...

MamaCaz
I was very shy throughout my childhood and adolescence too, so I can understand that feeling of hiding in plain sight.
If your family love you and respect you, then you can rest assured that you are worth your weight in gold!

10/12

I also know that you're not invisible on Gransnet xx

I've always felt invisible. I have always been terribly shy and grew up with very low self-esteem and confidence. With hindsight, this certainly wasn't helped by the fact that in my pre-school years the only other child I had regular contact with was my elder brother who never wanted (and still doesn't want )anything to do with me. Perhaps as a result of that, making friends didn't come naturally when I started school. I quickly learned to hide my emotions and distance myself from others as a basic survival instinct, a way of avoiding being hurt .
When I reached adolescence I could also see that I wasn't physically attractive - though whether I was actually unattractive I'm not sure with hindsight - so invisibility was something that I reluctantly accepted as normal.
It's only now, in my early fifties, that I am finally starting to feel that I have any value, any raison d'etre. Apart from anything else, I have educated myself over the years, which has given me a certain confidence in that field at least. Also, the fact that we all look old to the younger generation has also in a perverse way given me more confidence in my physical appearance. And on a superficial level, I have finally realised that my bum isn't huge like I thought it was when I was a teenager, and my legs (as long as I hide the varicose veins) are actually a very nice shape. I have also managed to control my weight to a size 10 / 12. ! Nevertheless, I still feel like my nose is still the length as Brighton pier and my chin as absent as the same pier following the recent storms. But physical insecurities aside, I now feel needed and appreciated by my sons and my DiLs, and finally feel that I am able to be me without shallow, skin-deep comparisons with others.
Role models are meaningless. I am me, and perhaps will one day will become visible to all, not just to my family!

I guess that what I am trying to say is that I understand 100% what is meant by feeling invisible, but struggle a little to feel sympathy for those who have reached middle-age or beyond before experiencing this! Perhaps in my position I should feel more empathy, but I'm struggling!

I'd also like to add that the simple act of typing all this, of acknowledging my true feelings, has reduced me to tears.

rock gran I am tryin . g to decide which would be the most useful.

What I'm finding very worrying is that my invisibility seems to have spread to my taxi driver. We've had 3 near misses this week by people coming out of side roads at us without seeing us. On one occasion we had to take to the hedge!

It made me quite cross that my frail 93 year old mother seemed to be invisible to children and that their parents (generally mums I'm sorry to say) did not make them aware that they should be considerate. She is now in a wheelchair when we are out and they do seem to avoid that - not because the notice her but because it will hurt.

I don't generally have a problem but occasionally I seem to be invisible to automatic doors - now that is a worry

I like at least a few days notice before a facetime and I try to put the ipad high up so I am looking up rather than down. The facetime app can be so cruel! Luckily my son who lives overseas calls us late rather than early so I am at least decent.

My dd called me on facetime yesterday,my hair was wet and in a white towelling turban and I had foundation on my face (blank canvas ).

"Oh God, you look as rough as I do" she kindly said, and on looking at myself in the little screen picture on my phone......... there was my mother!!!

Through the looking glass, rockgran?

That's strange because my granny lives in my mirror too? What is going on?

When I looked in the mirror, it wasn't me I saw. It looked like my granny.

Ginny do you mean there was no mirror or have you turned into a vampire?

Molliei think I saw where you were coming from even if role model was not what you meant. There are many very self confident women (seemingly) on this forum,who perhaps would have been indignant at the suggestion that they were invisible, or needed a role model. I don't look for a role model, but I do admire other women for various reasons. I also feel invisible in that I know that no one is going to find me attractive as a woman any more, in comparison with younger models ,but I accept that as part of getting older. let's face it ,people don't turn round in the street to look at women in their 60 s and 70s unless they are outstandingly beautiful.