Who cares about becoming invisible?

I think that, in the olden days when the world was still black and white, people, generally, were a lot older than we are, when they were our age IYSWIM.

If I think back to DH's parents' golden wedding anniversary, they seemed really old but I doubt we will be similar to them in 6 years time [if he behaves, that is!]

I've frightened myself like that by looking at the wrong side of my handbag mirror, ginny!

I've found that most loos/bathrooms have a mirror (usually above the wash basin) The other day I was in a loo and went to check my hair and face before leaving. It was a bit of a shock to find I was not there ! First time I've been invisible.

Aka - apparently our ears keep growing over the span of our lifetime!

As I started this thread I'd like to say that in my haste to share two examples of people refusing to let age define them I chose the wrong title so my thread has gone down an unintended route. I didn't mean them to be given as role models (another bad choice of phrase) just examples, I wanted to celebrate two people who were doing their own thing despite age or society's idea of what age means. And I didn't intend us to get hung up on who is or who isn't invisible. But thank you for sharing all your interesting ideas. It's clear to me that a) few of you want role models and prefer to be yourselves, and b) that invisibility is in the eye of the ignored (sorry, can't think of a better way to say that) - some of us never feel overlooked and some do. As someone racing towards 60, an age that I used to think as retirement age and therefore 60+ means OLD, I'm having to rethink what all that means. I'm looking for inspiration so excuse me if I get a bit over-excited when I find some now and again.

One thing I'm keeping invisible hidden are my ears. I got a shock when I looked in the mirror this morning (not something I do much these days) and I thought 'Grandma what big ears you have!'
They never used to be like that, thank goodness my hair covers them and they at least lie fiat to my head.

I can't say I've ever thought of myself as invisible, but, having read through this thread, I am going to look in the mirror and see if there's anything there .

And some waiting staff hopeless. Had one the other day. Got order wrong. Fascinated by serving mums and babies table. Hopeless at serving us who had said "we have a ferry to catch so we need to be served promptly" I did not put this down to our invisibleness but her doziness. Suspect she might not last there long as most staff very good.

I try to dress well and look after myself and generally have no problem about invisibility at 5ft8 but when I am out (now rarely)with my two tall and beautiful DDs I am totally invisible. Such is life and they do take over and pay or make sure the old dear isn't too stressed. Perhaps your beautiful DD draws all eyes Jinglebells.

Happened at the pub yesterday!

Nope! Makeup or clothing doesn't help jess. I always make myself look a bit nice when we go out, but it's always DD who gets thanked. Even if I'm the one paying!

Being older is not a "role" - the point is that we are diverse human beings, like any other age group is allowed to be and would like to be treated as such. And spare us the endless airbrushed photos of older women on the covers of certain magazines. Mirren airbrushed to look 25 etc. etc
It is interesting to see that someone can cycle so well at 100 - but that is almost a medical story - look how long the well-exercised human body can continue to function well (with luck and a lot of dogged persistence) - so don't assume that others in their 60s, 70s etc cannot take exercise and keep fit. But it would be ludicrous to think that we should all aspire to such athleticism, any more than we should all aspire to look like Mirren.
Wear bright clothes in shades that suit you if you want to be noticed, not blacks and neutrals. And use a spot of makeup to brighten up fading features.

Merlotgran- I admire Beth Chatto too, though I don't know much about her (I've visited her beautiful garden many times - it's awe-inspiring). I feel the same about many gardeners though, both dead and living, who have left such a wonderful legacy for all. Geoff Hamilton springs to mind...Christopher Lloyd...I could go on....

soop I still can't get on here on my Kindle Fire! I'm sure I might vanish at any moment!

Sorry for thread hijck. As you were.

My role models are people like Beth Chatto who worked incredibly hard to achieve her goals despite having to support family members with life limiting conditions. Although Beth is one of the most respected horticulturalists of our time she has always avoided the celebrity limelight. Her wonderful gardens are an inspiration.

Not sure about the role model thing. It could actually put too much pressure on people and give the message that it's not enough to be 'good enough'; to be worth something you have to excel or become famous. I've found that attitude in portrayals of disabled people who become well-known. It becomes, or COULD become, another guilt thing; unless I am like them, unless I achieve excellence, I am not worthy.
Whilst I think it's great for those concerned to have done well in their chosen activity, it shouldn't be hailed as another 'you-see-what-can-be-done-if-you-put-your-mind-to-it' lesson. What we all need is to realise that it's actually OK to be yourself, warts and all, ordinary or extra-ordinary; I am still fighting to learn that, aged 60, and find it all too easy to compare myself unfavourably to others. It's not a habit of which I am proud.

So I try not to look to role models - if I wanted one, I'd think of my own father, who at age 87, still travels extensively, goes to the gym every week, gardens, attends theatres, visits art galleries and lives life at a pace which leaves me feeling VERY humble and inadequate! Also my mother-in-law, widowed a few years ago but still keeping up walking, cooking, going out and generally being far more positive than I am (even though she constantly annoys me and other family members with her critical and judgemental attitude). But they both put me to shame.

LizG

LizG, you are not invisible on gransnet. I enjoy reading your comments. Always glad to see your name in the Active threads list .

jings...when we think that you're invisible we panic and send out a search party.

You all make excellent points and there are a number with which I would agree. I still feel though that I am invisible. I think it really came to a head with the empty nest syndrome (another thread) and more especially OH's retirement. It was certainly when I became more aware of the problem. Ah well, back to the books on assertiveness

I still think the invisibility thing is horrible. I never know whether to fight it, or just let it go. #isitworthit

The best thing is to laugh at it.

I can't see anything to admire in the sixty-two year old underwear model. Sixtytwo is not very old, and the pictures will most certainly have been airbrushed. When you have purple mottling on your feet and ankles, there is no way your legs are going to be completely unblemished like that. Good luck to her though. She's in a job she enjoys, and makes, no doubt, good money doing it.

The hundred and two year old cyclist, I have HUGE respect for! Well done mate!

I do find I need role models but I'm inclined to look for them in my own family. Especially my granny.

Liz, most of those things happen to people of all ages. I think it is just many older people become sensitised to expecting to be ignored so make more of things that we shrugged off when we were younger.

I have always thought, and still do, that the period when it is most assumed that women have the IQ of a pea and are most patronised is when they are pregnant and in the very early year or so of child rearing. Things only go up hill from there.

Like Absent I have a voice - and I use it. And while, like most people, there are times when I am intimidated by public expectations and conform. I was fortunate to discover very young that I was considered an oddity with eccentric views and it didn't really bother me so I have, generally, ploughed my own course without recourse to role models.

Well put NannaAnna. It's similar to the thread about not acting one's age. I do what I do at whatever age.

Thank you for responding LizG
I really can't relate to any of that. Is it about how you see yourself? How you as an individual interact with other people? I don't know, but things like encountering rude queue-jumpers have happened at different times in my life, and I've had people at bars talk and order over my head (not difficult as I'm 5ft nothing) when I was in my 20s, 30s, 40s as well as 50s and 60s. My response to such rudeness is no different now than it was when I was younger!
I don't expect to put up with rude inconsiderate people but I never have. I certainly don't attribute it to being older or 'invisible'. Surely it is all just in one's own perspective? If you feel invisible, stop allowing yourself to feel invisible!

With all this gurning especially in red lipstick I wonder how anybody could even suggest we risk becoming invisible.