Who cares about becoming invisible?

I try to dress well and look after myself and generally have no problem about invisibility at 5ft8 but when I am out (now rarely)with my two tall and beautiful DDs I am totally invisible. Such is life and they do take over and pay or make sure the old dear isn't too stressed. Perhaps your beautiful DD draws all eyes Jinglebells.

And some waiting staff hopeless. Had one the other day. Got order wrong. Fascinated by serving mums and babies table. Hopeless at serving us who had said "we have a ferry to catch so we need to be served promptly" I did not put this down to our invisibleness but her doziness. Suspect she might not last there long as most staff very good.

I can't say I've ever thought of myself as invisible, but, having read through this thread, I am going to look in the mirror and see if there's anything there .

One thing I'm keeping invisible hidden are my ears. I got a shock when I looked in the mirror this morning (not something I do much these days) and I thought 'Grandma what big ears you have!'
They never used to be like that, thank goodness my hair covers them and they at least lie fiat to my head.

Aka - apparently our ears keep growing over the span of our lifetime!

As I started this thread I'd like to say that in my haste to share two examples of people refusing to let age define them I chose the wrong title so my thread has gone down an unintended route. I didn't mean them to be given as role models (another bad choice of phrase) just examples, I wanted to celebrate two people who were doing their own thing despite age or society's idea of what age means. And I didn't intend us to get hung up on who is or who isn't invisible. But thank you for sharing all your interesting ideas. It's clear to me that a) few of you want role models and prefer to be yourselves, and b) that invisibility is in the eye of the ignored (sorry, can't think of a better way to say that) - some of us never feel overlooked and some do. As someone racing towards 60, an age that I used to think as retirement age and therefore 60+ means OLD, I'm having to rethink what all that means. I'm looking for inspiration so excuse me if I get a bit over-excited when I find some now and again.

I've found that most loos/bathrooms have a mirror (usually above the wash basin) The other day I was in a loo and went to check my hair and face before leaving. It was a bit of a shock to find I was not there ! First time I've been invisible.

I've frightened myself like that by looking at the wrong side of my handbag mirror, ginny!

I think that, in the olden days when the world was still black and white, people, generally, were a lot older than we are, when they were our age IYSWIM.

If I think back to DH's parents' golden wedding anniversary, they seemed really old but I doubt we will be similar to them in 6 years time [if he behaves, that is!]

Molliei think I saw where you were coming from even if role model was not what you meant. There are many very self confident women (seemingly) on this forum,who perhaps would have been indignant at the suggestion that they were invisible, or needed a role model. I don't look for a role model, but I do admire other women for various reasons. I also feel invisible in that I know that no one is going to find me attractive as a woman any more, in comparison with younger models ,but I accept that as part of getting older. let's face it ,people don't turn round in the street to look at women in their 60 s and 70s unless they are outstandingly beautiful.

Ginny do you mean there was no mirror or have you turned into a vampire?

When I looked in the mirror, it wasn't me I saw. It looked like my granny.

That's strange because my granny lives in my mirror too? What is going on?

Through the looking glass, rockgran?

My dd called me on facetime yesterday,my hair was wet and in a white towelling turban and I had foundation on my face (blank canvas ).

"Oh God, you look as rough as I do" she kindly said, and on looking at myself in the little screen picture on my phone......... there was my mother!!!

I like at least a few days notice before a facetime and I try to put the ipad high up so I am looking up rather than down. The facetime app can be so cruel! Luckily my son who lives overseas calls us late rather than early so I am at least decent.

It made me quite cross that my frail 93 year old mother seemed to be invisible to children and that their parents (generally mums I'm sorry to say) did not make them aware that they should be considerate. She is now in a wheelchair when we are out and they do seem to avoid that - not because the notice her but because it will hurt.

I don't generally have a problem but occasionally I seem to be invisible to automatic doors - now that is a worry

What I'm finding very worrying is that my invisibility seems to have spread to my taxi driver. We've had 3 near misses this week by people coming out of side roads at us without seeing us. On one occasion we had to take to the hedge!

rock gran I am tryin . g to decide which would be the most useful.

I've always felt invisible. I have always been terribly shy and grew up with very low self-esteem and confidence. With hindsight, this certainly wasn't helped by the fact that in my pre-school years the only other child I had regular contact with was my elder brother who never wanted (and still doesn't want )anything to do with me. Perhaps as a result of that, making friends didn't come naturally when I started school. I quickly learned to hide my emotions and distance myself from others as a basic survival instinct, a way of avoiding being hurt .
When I reached adolescence I could also see that I wasn't physically attractive - though whether I was actually unattractive I'm not sure with hindsight - so invisibility was something that I reluctantly accepted as normal.
It's only now, in my early fifties, that I am finally starting to feel that I have any value, any raison d'etre. Apart from anything else, I have educated myself over the years, which has given me a certain confidence in that field at least. Also, the fact that we all look old to the younger generation has also in a perverse way given me more confidence in my physical appearance. And on a superficial level, I have finally realised that my bum isn't huge like I thought it was when I was a teenager, and my legs (as long as I hide the varicose veins) are actually a very nice shape. I have also managed to control my weight to a size 10 / 12. ! Nevertheless, I still feel like my nose is still the length as Brighton pier and my chin as absent as the same pier following the recent storms. But physical insecurities aside, I now feel needed and appreciated by my sons and my DiLs, and finally feel that I am able to be me without shallow, skin-deep comparisons with others.
Role models are meaningless. I am me, and perhaps will one day will become visible to all, not just to my family!

I guess that what I am trying to say is that I understand 100% what is meant by feeling invisible, but struggle a little to feel sympathy for those who have reached middle-age or beyond before experiencing this! Perhaps in my position I should feel more empathy, but I'm struggling!

I'd also like to add that the simple act of typing all this, of acknowledging my true feelings, has reduced me to tears.

MamaCaz
I was very shy throughout my childhood and adolescence too, so I can understand that feeling of hiding in plain sight.
If your family love you and respect you, then you can rest assured that you are worth your weight in gold!

10/12

I also know that you're not invisible on Gransnet xx

Mammacaz, I'm sorry for your tears! You are a survivor and, if I've read your post right, you've grown into yourself and overcome those earlier feelings of invisibility. Congratulations! I can understand that - I hit 30 and felt nothing but relief that (then) the pressure was off me to conform to type. In fact, I've never wanted to BE visible and have my own theory about invisibility. I do want to feel relevant as I get older and want to be as interesting/interested/active in my 70s and 80s as I can be...

Mamacaz I also recognise a great deal of what you expressed in your first paragraph.
I have had more confidence since I was 50 than I ever had before. No real reason why. Although at the age of 53, with the help of the OU I found out I was dyslexic. This made a big difference. I learnt that my failings, low performance in school exams were not down to being stupid. I really was intelligent but had some very specific difficulties with visual memory and other stuff.

You are certainly not invisible on here. Your posting style is witty and very much to the point.

I can sympathise as well. When I was at school I used to be teased about being thin with no figure. I never felt attractive either.
Now I'm obese, can't be bothered with makeup and definitely past it and I don't care.
The reason I don't like being invisible is because I can't get past people when I'm on my scooter and people don't see me and try to knock me over if I'm walking with my crutches.
Making my taxi invisible is the last straw!
Have I become a Klingon with their cloaking device?

Galen: I can sympathise with the sort of invisibility that you suffer, too,
My suggestion: get yourself a very loud but very distinctive sort of horn to let people know that you are there!
I am very fortunate in not needing (yet) a scooter or crutches, but even when out on my bike I have this problem with other road users, usually either pedestrians or people on horses. If you can find an audible warning that is potentially amusing, I think that most people will acknowledge your presence and give you some room.
When I depend totally on my bicycle bell, most pedestrians either don't hear it, or they panic to the extent that they throw their companions into the ditch! Nowadays, if the bell doesn't work, I try coughing out loud, or simply shouting "hello" way before I reach them. It gets a much better response. That said, I don't often cycle in town centres / pedestrian areas, so I don't know how my suggestions would work in those surroundings. If you try it, let us know

I wonder if I can get a horn that plays the grand march from Aida?
People would get out of the way of chariots, elephants and dancing girls. Wouldn't they?