An alphabetical poem/story

Just how is it that you don`t know about Whiskas pouches, Duffy? So much easier for a pussy to cope with.

Kit Kat flavoured cat food was what Duffy really wanted yummiest.

(Wanted to say yummie but my super intelligent IPad thought differently sorry).

Lovely stuff thought Duffy as he kicked his lips. Sir Galahad was turning into a decent cook. Lightly grilled Komodo Dragon, what could be better ?

Munching happily Duffy surveyed her surroundings

(have we established Duffy's gender? )

(ah, just noticed NanaKate says he)

Nicely full after his sumptuous meal Duffy sets off to see what havoc he can wreak on the indigenous wildlife. Being a cat what else can he do?

Over on the horizon, Duffy can see

Pussies galore in a pea-green boat waving their Whiskas pouches.

Quite out of reach

Reading a battered copy of a tabloid newspaper warning us about an infestation of Giant rats.

So nice to have a change of menu, thought Duffy, licking her lips,

Thought Duffy, wondering what is best to serve with campfire cooked rat

Usually, of course, he'd eat them raw, but GIANT ones might be a bit much...

Ugli fruit might be a good option. At this point Duffy remembered the old wise saying 'dogs have masters and cats have servants' so why not send Sir G off hunting for said fruit whilst Duffy put his paws up and had a siesta.

Vociferous orders reached the ears of Sir G and he went ambling off in search of the fruit - Duffy waited

Well you could have knocked Duffy over with a feather, dear old Sir G had found an orchard of Ugli fruit not more than a mile away. The only problem was a herd of Komodo Dragons were hanging around looking a bit ugly themselves.

Xavier (Sir G's horse) wasn't scared of Komodo Dragons so Sir G soon managed to drive them away.

Xavier Arbuthnot, the renowned explorer, wrote about the Ugli fruit in 1825. He suggested they were poisonous to Komodo dragons.

(Great minds 2seconds apart.)

(I got the timing wrong again 2 mins not seconds)

Yes, of course! Load up the cannons with Ugli fruit, Ladies. We'll teach these dragons a lesson they won't forget!

Zounds! Go get 'em folks!

Awash with blown up ugli fruit Duffy and Sir G searched for an unexploded one.

Be afraid - be very afraid!