I take the good from my upbringing, dump the bad bits and yes, put them to good use. I have, in the past, indulged in the 'blame-game', and it served absolutely no purpose, other than to just dig me deeper into the mire.
It was from about my 40's onward that I actively decided to develop a kind of self-governance, or autonomy, which enabled me to exercise independence and control over myself. A form of free will if you like. I needed to. Sometimes I achieve it, sometimes I don't, but what's important is understanding the hows and whys of my actions and emotions, where they come from and knowing that I have charge of them - not others.
I do not believe one needs to be forever defined by one's upbringing. It leaves it's legacy, and informs, but one does not need to blindly continue along it's path.
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