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Is there still such a thing as an "only child"?

(35 Posts)
Grannyknot Sun 13-Jul-14 20:52:15

I was just chatting to a young friend who is pregnant and only wants one child, because, she says, there is no such thing as an "only child, lonely child" any longer because "kids nowadays have all the company they need because of social media" confused

Is this true do you think?

ninathenana Mon 14-Jul-14 17:44:52

I not an 'only' but I might as well have been sad my brother chose to ignore me for all of our younger years. When we became adults we were polite strangers. It was only when our mum developed Alzheimers that he began behaving like a brother.
My friend has an 'only' and I think she has always had too much of her life wrapped up in her daughter who is now 26. My friend still takes her to doctors appointments confused

nannotgran Mon 14-Jul-14 19:42:45

I am an only child and I never felt lonely.But the war was on and to be honest my parent's were very busy and we always had a house full of people and children My teenage years were great.BUT in later years yes I do feel very lonely at times. That is when you have to think how lucky you have been.and I have

FlicketyB Mon 14-Jul-14 19:43:08

I do not think many only children are spoilt but I have a much younger sister, who was home for much of her childhood as an 'only' when I and my younger sister had left home. She certainly wasn't spoilt but when she was at home as an only she didn't have to compete for, or share parental attention. When my other sister and I were home, she was eclipsed because my parents were primarily interested in us and our lives while we were there.

I didn't have the easiest of relations with her for much of our adulthood but since our parents and my younger sister died we have talked more and she explained that she saw us as favourites because when we were there she didn't get all the attention she was accustomed to and she was amazed to discover that we, her two older sisters, saw her, without rancour, as the favourite as she was very much the baby in the family.

I think DH unconsciously was the same, he never had to share his parents attention, and didn't expect to share mine. Mind you, 47 years of marriage, two DC and two DGC have solved that.

trendygran Mon 14-Jul-14 20:22:33

I was an 'only' and athough I had plenty of friends I always longed for a sibling. (My Mum lost a baby 4 years before I was born).
Like you Tegan, it's now, as a widow, with no siblings and only my elder daughter and my late younger daughter's two daughters as blood relatives, that I do envy those with a medium /large family. I have an adopted Grandson who will, hopefully soon have an adopted sibling, as my DD and SIL don't want him to be an 'only'.
I think the term 'single child' sounds much more acceptable than 'only', but I guess that won't change. Just a thought!

Deedaa Mon 14-Jul-14 22:47:46

Looking back I realise that many of the people I knew at school were, to all intents and purposes, only children. Some, like me, had no siblings but many of them had much older brothers and sisters born before the war while they were the little after thought. We would occasionally meet somebody's big brother or sister, but they seemed like proper grown ups to us and certainly weren't playmates.

Tegan Tue 15-Jul-14 11:26:42

I'm actually going to try to trace my relatives in Brum; my mum was from a large family, most of whom didn't speak to each other, therefore I never knew my cousins. But they are out there. Be warned if you're a Brummie. I might be knocking on your door wink.

goldengirl Tue 15-Jul-14 16:53:38

I too am a 'single child'. It's taught me independence and appreciation of my own company though I enjoy that of my friends. The only downside when I was young was the pressure to do well. It could have been imagined but I always felt my parents were disappointed I wasn't top of the class at my grammar school and didn't get to university until I was 50 when I got a good Masters degree. I left home at 17 and went to learn the hotel trade and it didn't go down well that I had to do chambermaiding as work experience!

KatyK Wed 16-Jul-14 10:01:23

My daughter is an only child and I have often felt guilty about it over the years. I was one of seven children and we are all pretty close. However, she has only had one child herself, so she must have been OK I think.

MargaretX Wed 16-Jul-14 10:14:02

I only had the one brother. He had to look after me, being 6 years older. When things went wrong, he was very supportive, that suited him but when things went right, better for me than for him he was difficult.

My GS is an only child and his parents are careful to give him lots of freedom and lots of friends, who all live nearby. Social media can not make up for real friends and real friendship.