Is it more interesting to be a woman?

granjura I don't understand your post - you say you agree (with me?) but appear to be saying that females are more likely to be nasty, underhand and "bitchy". I don't think that - I think those traits can be found in both men and women.

I so agree Eloethan. I had 2 older brothers, and grew up with them and their friends- and I always liked the direct non-nonsense, at times rough but never 'bitchy' approach- and had few female friends- as I found their constant petty arguments so nasty. Still do ;) sometimes.

One of our daughters manages a team of both men and women- and some, of either sex, find it very difficult to have a senior boss who is a woman- not because of her attitude, but 'just because'.

I have worked for both male and female bosses over my working life. They have been good and bad in equal measure regardless of their gender. The boss that I rated the best just happened to be a man.
Male "banter" can appear to be bitchy but IMO, in the main is just that between friends, banter between those competing to be top dog, can be very different, worse than bitchy.

Male v Female ?? "viva la difference" and enjoy it.

'I don't understand why women have to keep criticising other women'

Me neither but it has always been the case, particularly in the past. I think younger women are more likely to support each other, hence mumsnet.

apricot I don't think boys are nicer than girls - either can be nice or horrid, independent of their gender.

I don't understand why women have to keep criticising other women. I'm not bitchy or underhand or grudging (well, maybe a bit grudging ) and nor are any of my friends. Men don't keep saying how horrible men can be and how they hate working for a male boss - most of them think they're pretty all right and some of them spend time criticising and demeaning women - it's a shame we have to join in. Perhaps we could learn a few lessons from them about self-esteem.

I've worked in offices with professional men and they can be "bitchy" too - playing on each other's insecurities and disguising it as "banter". The best boss I've ever had was a woman. She appreciated my work, trusted me to compose correspondence and use my own initiative, asked for and respected my opinions and sometimes made a hot drink for me when I was extra busy - and she was a senior partner in a law firm. Of course there are some women bosses who are nasty, as there are nasty male bosses and nice male bosses.

I quite envy men for some of their essential blokeyness - the things which make boys easier and nicer than girls. They are more straightforward, enjoy work and play with a bunch of other blokes, don't hold a grudge.
Of course I'm generalising, just remembering the sweet nature of so many boys and men compared to female bitchiness, which starts very early in life, and the fact that I'd far rather have a male boss than a female.
For all that, I do think our lives are more interesting because we are often involved in more activities and participate in more peoples' lives.
The typical boring, one-track-mind person is a man.

Yes. Low pay opens a totally new can of worms, luckily us and our children have never had to deal with that, our idea of hardship is trivial in comparison to some others.

I think Granjura and Bogoff are right about distinctions becoming more blurred. It wasn't ever the case that all men and all women always adopted gender-specific roles and the misrepresentation of that aspect of history we see every day in the media doesn't help. But, I think things are harder now for both men and women who would be genuinely happy with the traditional arrangement. And a lot of couples can't afford to live on one income so there isn't really a choice. It's one thing if you have an interesting career, it's another if both of you are doing an unrewarding, badly paid job because you desperately need the money.

Very true Granjura. I think the roles are gradually becoming more blurred, compared say to the 50's. In our case, our daughter's partner would be the sensible option to stay at home and care for their children, he earns little more than their child care costs, our daughter does and always will earn vastly more than him. But he (IMO) could not accept the change of roles. They are happy and it all works well, so who am I to comment.

Of course we can never truly know- but we can observe. For instance, young men are 4 times more likely to commit suicide than women-as they find the expectations of them are so high and multiple, and nowdays even confusing, expected still to be the provider, the 'strong' one, and at the same time to be gentle and considerate, etc, and also because they find it so difficult to ask for help, from family, friends or professionals, as it is a sign of weakness.

If a woman decides to stay at home to bring up children, that is totally fine. If she decides to go back to work, all fine too. But if a man decides (hopefully with his wife) to be a stay at home dad- it can, still, be a very difficult option on so many levels.

“You never really know a man until you understand things from his point of view, until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”

Lee, Harper. To Kill a Mockingbird.

or

"Walk a mile in someone’s shoes"

Guess I will never really know what is is to be of the opposite sex. All I know, is that I'm happy with my lot.

It wasn't meant to be an unreasonable question just a reflective one.

I have no idea what it is like to be a man with a man's emotions, experience and perspective of the world, awareness of other people's expectations of my function as a man or role as a husband/partner to a woman and a father. How on earth could I possibly being to decide whether it is more interesting to be a woman when that is what I have been since the day I was born? It might be a more reasonable question if we were all Orlandos – but we're not.

I remember working out as a small child that it was much better to be female and nothing has changed my mind. I grew up with brothers and have sons ,so am more used to living with men than women and I think that I have had it so much better.
Being a woman has never stopped me doing anything that I wanted to do.
Nothing beats being the one to give birth and I was lucky enough to have choices and be the one to do the bulk of the childcare and work part time.

x posts

I don't see how we can possibly say whether it's more interesting to be a woman than a man, as the vast majority of us have never been men.

They obviously have completely different thought processes to us and we'd have to actually experience being a man for a while to decide which sex we'd rather be.

It's quite difficult to make a judgment about whether it is more interesting to be a man or a woman - having never been a man to compare the experience.

There are fewer opportunities open to women but there may well be other compensations. I believe women are more able to have close, non-sexual, relationships with other people and therefore have more friends and more social networks. I also think it is more difficult to be "different" if you are a man - there is, I think, quite a lot of pressure to like what are perceived to be "masculine" interests - football, boxing, etc. Sometimes men who don't like these pursuits, find it more difficult to relate to other men. I think the rigid male role is gradually changing though - and I think that's a good thing.

I used to think that men had it best.
But as I am getting older, I prefer to be an older woman to being an older man.
There is still the presumption that man will be the provider I think. Which must become wearing, later in life. Plus they know that their time may be shorter than ours by a few years.
And if I stop to think about it, older men seem to be iller for longer, than the older women that I know[generalising, and only going by my own experiences].

Women have much more choices than men nowadays, in many ways. Superficially even for such things as clothes- but also with other choices, like whether to be a SAHM or go back to work, full-time, part-time...

Of course some women have more choices than others, sadly.

I really don't think that being a woman is any more or any less interesting than being a man.Just different.

Yes mishap, quite true, and maybe those layers are just different from ours. It is sad that men can't speak to little children any more when out in public. Most men are decent individuals but its always the bad apples that lead to them being tarred with the same brush. Wow mixed metaphors ++!

I would hate to be a man. Their role and the expectations of them has changed markedly and rapidly and it must be so very hard for them

There are aspects of their nature that, as with women, are hormone-induced, and they are being required to suppress these, the received wisdom now being that feminine is good and and they should foster that side of their nature in preference to the male.

Clearly we do not want to go back to the bad old days when women were underdogs, but we need to nurture in boys a pride in their maleness. They have nothing to apologise for.

The idea now that all men are rapists or paedophiles until proven otherwise must be very hard to live with.

All my SILs are clearly masculine in their behaviour, but they are also kind, considerate and thoughtful - and exemplary supporters of my DDs and sharers of child care etc.

I do not think that women are more interesting - men are as multi-layered as we perceive ourselves to be.

I've never envied men or felt that being female was somehow not as interesting, but I'm sure I'd prefer to be male in those cultures where women are so abused and oppressed. I've experienced discrimination and been patronised plenty of times - less so nowadays. I think men do have quite a burden to carry when assumptions are made that they are likely to default to a position of power, but then so do women who are assumed to be fluffy and unintelligent because of their gender.

My two sons are very different - both brought up to be respectful to women and to share responsibilities equally. One now prefers to shoulder traditional male responsibilities like being the provider, working long hours, doing all the tough physical tasks - his partner enjoys being looked after this way and is a stay-at-home mum who would always be the one who got up in the night when the baby woke up, which was a bit puzzling for my son, with his upbringing (mind you, it didn't take him long to accept it!) My other son prefers to challenge the stereotypes and has a partner who complements this view. Neither of them are typical of those traditional views of men and women and they encourage and enable each other to do things that have been quite restricted to gender roles in the past.

I think the expectations on both men and women are better for being challenged, even if they prefer to stay with stereotypes. I like being female and independent. I'm glad I don't suffer what so many females have to endure elsewhere in the world.

I think that generally women do live more interesting lives than men. Certainly, as another poster has mentioned, having a baby is a massive adventure and one that cannot totally be shared by fathers, even though they may wish to. In the area of careers, though, I think women still have to fight harder than men to prove themselves - the good old glass ceiling still exists in some professions - and so some may miss out on top (interesting) jobs.

Women have to give more thought to personal safety (I know that is debatable) and so may be more limited in their activities and perhaps think twice before undertaking something like a mountain climb or a desert trek although, of course, there will always be the brave souls who 'just do it'.

I do agree with the poster above who says that widows generally manage better than widowers. I read somewhere that a married man lives longer than a single one but a single woman lives longer than a married one. Does that prove anything?

On the whole, I think I'll come back as a man. just to see what it is like!

I remember reading the results of a study a few years ago which found that when men wanted a deep emotional interaction (discussing their problems for instance) they turned to women, not other men. Women were more inclined to turn to other women. Very few men turned to other men.

Having said that I recently heard my adult grandson talking on the phone to a friend of his who was obviously going through difficulties with his partner and was upset. I was quite surprised that grandson listened sympathetically and gave some advice (don't put up with it mate) but after a few minutes he made an excuse to end the phone call. None of this talking for hours that women often do