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So what was your plan?

(33 Posts)
absent Wed 26-Aug-15 07:45:58

I was never a great planner –more roll with the tide and float with the punches. However, looking back at my younger self, I never had the slightest idea that I would spend the last years of my life in a country as far away from where I was born, grew up and spent most of my adult life as it is possible to be. I intended or, at least, hoped to have several children but only produced the one, a wonderful one but nevertheless a solitary child. I wandered into publishing as a career after leaving university and ended up writing non-fiction books on all sorts of subjects from ballet to feng shui and from yoga to fine art, but mostly, good heavens, cookbooks. I vaguely expected to become a grandmother one day, but it was a huge surprise when I did – and then again and again and…

Do I regret any of it? Well, not much. Do I have a clue how it happened? Well not much.

How about your plans?

Jane10 Wed 26-Aug-15 07:49:28

Who was it that said 'life is what happens while we sit around making plans!' I certainly couldn't have predicted how things turned out for me.

Indinana Wed 26-Aug-15 07:57:19

That was John Lennon, Jane10. I never thought I'd spend most of my life in Devon - not quite the other side of the world like absent, but a goodish distance from the SE where I was born and grew up.
Not sure I had plans, just lots of ideas which changed on a regular basis! I think, as JL said, life did just happen....

EhUp Wed 26-Aug-15 08:17:57

I a half way through life and just roll with it too.

Grannyknot Wed 26-Aug-15 08:20:25

There's also a saying "If you want to make God/Fate/the Universe* laugh, mention your plans!"

Delete as appropriate or substitute your own word.

My plan was to muddle through grin

vampirequeen Wed 26-Aug-15 08:27:49

Life and plans don't mix. Even small plans can go astray. We're supposed to be going away in the caravan tomorrow but DH has hurt his back and if it doesn't improve we'll have to cancel.

Greyduster Wed 26-Aug-15 08:36:12

I thought I had my life planned out, and marriage didn't figure in it - and then I met DH. Plans haven't figured much since then!

annsixty Wed 26-Aug-15 08:52:15

My life has taken so many unexpected turnings I couldn't possibly have planned them. Certainly not turned out as I hoped but that applies to so many.

ninathenana Wed 26-Aug-15 09:01:25

My life has just happened.
I had no plans apart from the childish one of marrying a rich man and living a life of luxury.

rosesarered Wed 26-Aug-15 09:06:58

Nothing wrong with making plans, it shows hope, and you do need some, otherwise all you are doing is reacting to other people's choices and ideas.
Sometimes you can put your plans into action, and other times not, but I can't imagine just floating through life with none at all.

hildajenniJ Wed 26-Aug-15 09:10:54

As a small child, I had plans to marry a rich man and live in a big house. I wanted lots of children too. As it happens, I did marry a rich man, with his own business. Unfortunately, the business was selling groceries before the big supermarkets arrived. Our "riches" then melted away and we now live in a little bungalow. We managed to have two children, and now have four DGC. Life is not the way either of us planned, but nonetheless we are happy with what we have now.

annodomini Wed 26-Aug-15 10:11:47

I haven't written that best-seller... yet, nor do I live in a mansion. But I had a largely satisfying career and I have 2 wonderful sons and 5 lovely grandchildren which I never considered 50 years ago.

Katek Wed 26-Aug-15 10:21:10

I don't think I ever really had one -life just sort of happened when I wasn't looking.

kittylester Wed 26-Aug-15 10:27:25

It would have been strange to have planned that far ahead anyway wouldn't it, Anno, considering that we were never going to get older.

I had absolutely no plans at all and am pleasantly surprised to find myself where I am now. Life hasn't always been a bed of roses and we still have problems (have I mentioned the Idiot!) but we have each other, a big boisterous family, a home we love and we are comfortably off.

When friends and I used to talk about how we imagined our futures it usually involved a husband, 2 children and a nice house - how naive were we? Not many of my friends achieved that ideal at all.

We have no idea what the future holds, as ann says, so we should savour each moment of happiness. flowers for ann and everyone else coping with a life that hasn't turned out the way they would wish.

Glad your plans worked out nina! smile

I have one big question though - how the hell did I get to be 66? grin

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 26-Aug-15 10:28:57

Looking back, my 'plans' do seem to have worked out beautifully, although I never thought to make any until my early twenties. Before that, I muddled along and enjoyed it where I could. (quite a lot, in fact.)

They were very simple plans. smile

Nice thread absent.

J52 Wed 26-Aug-15 10:57:35

The only thing I remember planning for was my career, which worked out relatively smoothly, despite starting at the bottom 3 times, due to house moves supporting my DH's career.

For all the other lovely things, it's been pure serendipity!


Tegan Wed 26-Aug-15 11:08:40

I stumbled through life blindly but, thus far seem to have landed on my feet albeit usually bemoaning the fact that I 'started at the top and worked my way down'...

PRINTMISS Wed 26-Aug-15 11:13:33

When I was at senior school we had a lovely school secretary, and I always said that that was what I would like to do. I did eventually, when my daughter was 11 years old, I did it for twelve years in a junior school,and they were the happiest twelve working years of my life. Not so much a plan, more a dream come true. Lucky me.

Misha14 Wed 26-Aug-15 12:12:59

Was there a plan? Not really, it was more like PRINTMISS's dream.
From my earliest childhood I wanted to be a writer. Then life, marriage, divorce, children and bereavement happened and it's taken me to my sixties to be able to focus on what I really wanted to do.
I now have two books for adults published, plus the first of a trilogy of YA books and ever since I retired from my "earning the bread and butter" work, my life has been a busy round of writing, editing, marketing, workshops and going to conferences and I'm loving it.

Stansgran Wed 26-Aug-15 12:15:14

Man proposes God disposes. I never had a plan I think I felt it was a bit presumptuous to assume what would happen. DH knew quite clearly his life plan and succeeded and I tagged along but now in retirement I find it easier than he does because he still needs a plan whereas I shrug and carry on.

grannyactivist Wed 26-Aug-15 12:23:13

Not plans really, but my family all expected me to work with children and to become an author. I have become a reasonably accomplished children's storyteller, although I never had the urge to go into print and I did work with children for the majority of my career, as a social worker and a teacher. I planned to get married, stay married and have children. Following the hiccup of my first marriage, (which lasted for 15 years) I have been very happily married for 29 years and have a great many children.

Beattie Wed 26-Aug-15 12:56:13

I was great at planning my life in my teens then I met my husband and got married at 19, definitely not in the great plan! From then on it just happened and life was spent trying to "keep the balls in the air". Now a widow with 3 sons and 6 grandchildren, it was quite a journey but now have time to plan again!

Grannyeggs Wed 26-Aug-15 13:51:52

I too was a planner in my teens, and met my husband at 19, pregnant at twenty and from the was a roller coaster ride with no time for anything than to hang on! That marriage came to a grinding halt after 24 years, then I planned to stay single and have a calm peaceful time , with family Grandchildren and friends, I was never going to let another man into my life.. I have now been married to DH 2 for 8 years and we are planning to spend what's left of our lives having a blast together grin

Kittycat Wed 26-Aug-15 14:45:47

My plans were to marry, have babies and lead a happy and peaceful life. My husband was/is tho retired-hardworking and we worked together to try to bring up our children in a happy and secure home. We didn't hanker after fancy holidays, cars, expensive jewellery or designer labels and never ever earned enough to buy our own home.
Unfortunately there are some nasty, envious people out there who don't łike to see other people having a good life, even tho they'd worked blooming hard to get it. They wanted it for themselves, without putting in the hard work. .We ended up jobless and homeless with two young children.
Thankfully over the years we picked ourselves up, worked hard again and are now fairly comfy. Still nothing fancy tho.
It's hard not to feel bitter about these things, but I think it's better to put it behind you- not dwell on it, I try not to even think about it even nearly 30 years later, cos you'd end up bitter and twisted.

Judthepud2 Wed 26-Aug-15 20:55:35

No plans ever. We just rolled with the punches. Now we are retired, comfortably off, living in our quirky house in a peaceful village by the sea. 4 caring children, 6 grandchildren all healthy and much loved.

We are very happy except.....
....I never planned to have a daughter with 2 sons from 2 failed relationships. 2 men causing problems and potential problems for the future. sad Fellow feeling Kitty!