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A funny story, a joke-anything!

(28 Posts)
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trisher Tue 01-Dec-15 10:36:03

OK I have just come back from a holiday in Madeira. It hasn't stopped raining since I got back! I am badly in need of something to cheer me up-so please tell me a funny story or a joke anything to make me feel better even if the sun isn't shining!

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Jayh Tue 01-Dec-15 11:24:54

Two snowmen standing in a garden. One says to the other,
"Do you smell carrots?"☃

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trisher Tue 01-Dec-15 11:33:39

Thanks-made me laugh-love silly jokes!!!-seasonal as well!!!!!

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Elegran Tue 01-Dec-15 11:34:18

The other replied. "No, my nose is bunged up with the cold and I can't feel my feet, they are bloody freezing. I wish it was midsummer"

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Ana Tue 01-Dec-15 11:39:38

And what do you call a snowman in midsummer?

A puddle!

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Indinana Tue 01-Dec-15 11:54:01

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite!

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Katek Tue 01-Dec-15 12:07:55

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia!

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trisher Tue 01-Dec-15 12:14:34

Thank you thank you. I may now put on my raincoat and venture out-stil chuckling!

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Luckygirl Tue 01-Dec-15 13:44:29

Q: Why doesn't Santa have any children ?
A: Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

Sorry - lowering the tone! grin

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Elegran Tue 01-Dec-15 15:45:02

What is the horse's favourite line from a Christmas carol?
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I line from "Unto us a boy is born" -

"The King of every neigh-eigh-eigh-eigh-eigh-eigh-eigh-eigh-eightion"

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grannylyn65 Tue 01-Dec-15 16:36:36

blush luckygirl !!!

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Jane10 Tue 01-Dec-15 16:38:10

Good though!

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Grandma2213 Wed 02-Dec-15 02:54:04

Luckygirl HO HO HO!!!

trisher Hope you enjoy the rain dear wink (groan!)

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Falconbird Wed 02-Dec-15 07:06:34

Luckygirl - grin

A horse walks into a bar.

The barman says "why the long face."

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jinglbellsfrocks Wed 02-Dec-15 09:40:11

Ok! She must be cheered up enough now. hmm

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jinglbellsfrocks Wed 02-Dec-15 09:40:48

Scrap that. Don't mind old Grumpy-drawers.

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trisher Wed 02-Dec-15 10:02:15

Much more cheerful now-thanks for the jokes. jingl you can be as grumpy as you want. The sun is shining!!!

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KatyK Wed 02-Dec-15 11:32:34

A duck walks into a pub and approaches the barman.

Duck: 'Got any bread?'

Barman: 'No'

Duck: 'Got any bread?'

Barman: 'No'

Duck: 'Got any bread?'

Barman: 'I said NO and if you ask me again I'll nail your beak to the bar'

Duck: 'Got any nails?'

Barman 'No'

Duck@ 'Got any bread?'

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downtoearth Wed 02-Dec-15 15:42:03

Q postman Pat has got the sack what will he now be called ?

A pat

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Ana Wed 02-Dec-15 15:49:18

KatyK I like that one! tchgrin

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numberplease Wed 02-Dec-15 16:07:00

Why did Miss Tomato blush? Because she saw Mr. Green Pea.

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KatyK Wed 02-Dec-15 16:08:14

Ana tchgrin

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Falconbird Thu 03-Dec-15 07:26:15

What's the difference between God and a dentist?

God doesn't think he's a dentist. smile

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trisher Thu 03-Dec-15 11:10:43

smile Thank you.

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Maranta Thu 03-Dec-15 19:13:42

Have you heard about the hyena that swallowed an Oxo cube?

He became a laughing stock!

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