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Do you think I should?

(40 Posts)
oldgoose Sun 19-Jun-16 12:55:22

I am very close to my daughter and her family - she has 3 children under 10. Every year we have been to our favourite holiday village in Devon and I have joined them along with my sister and her husband. However this year, my sister and her husband can't go and so my daughter and son-in-law have booked a holiday in the same place, but havn't invited me. I have decided to persuade other half(who works away a lot) to book a few days off so we can 'surprise' my daughter and family on their holidays. We won't be staying near them. Do you think this is an ok thing to do, or am I being too pushy? I love seeing my grand-children enjoy the seaside and in previous years I have babysat so that my daughter and hubby could go out for the evening. Has anyone else done this?

trisher Tue 12-Jul-16 16:57:56

I don't know why your DD didn't invite you but I can think of loads of reasons, is it a long journey she might think you wouldn't want to do on your own? Does she think you might miss the adult company of your sister? It sounds as if your DH doesn't usually accompany you, could you not ring her and announce he has a few days holiday then wait to see what she says? If she wants to see you she will invite you then. If she doesn't you may have to take the hint.

midgey Tue 12-Jul-16 17:50:51

Ooh please don't do it. I am sure they love you dearly but absence makes the heart grow fonder!

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 12-Jul-16 17:57:39

Just ask them if it's OK to pop over to see them for a day or two whilst you're there. And stop over-thinking it.

Maggiemaybe Tue 12-Jul-16 18:08:22

Don't surprise them though. I hate surprises (control freak alert).

Bobbysgirl19 Tue 12-Jul-16 18:36:54

Seeing as you were not invited, I would stay well away and not even visit for a day. Give them some breathing space, they probably want some time on their own, if you ask to pay a visit they are going to feel obligated. Sure you wouldn't want that.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 12-Jul-16 18:50:30

OIh no. Don't surprise them. But they are going to the same place the OP goes to every year as part of the family. Would have been different if they had chosen somewhere else of their own. Seems mean to have the usual family holiday but leave them out.

rubylady Wed 13-Jul-16 05:20:19

Just ask them if they wanted time on their own. Then if so, do your own thing and enjoy your partner. Next time might be back to full family holiday but for a change it would be nice to have some time off for you too and dedicate yourselves to each other instead of being nana. Or if you miss it too much, ask if your GC can go away with you another time for a short break or whatever and give their parents a break in their own home. It could work out lovely all the way round. smile

Devorgilla Wed 13-Jul-16 11:25:09

Why not book somewhere more exotic? I definitely would not go as sometimes people just want to operate to their own timetable. If they miss your help they will invite you another time. If you show you are independent and go somewhere different it will focus them in. If you see them normally then just go with it. If they say anything just say a break apart will do you all good and you and your OH are pleased to have the freedom to go to new places. Indeed, if they use your help during the holidays I would extend my holiday so I was away for a few days when they get back. Come back tanned, rested and with exciting new gifts for the children.

kittylester Wed 13-Jul-16 16:05:44

I've just had a conversation about this topic with DD1 who has just discovered that her Mil has booked to go just a few miles away from where she and her family are going. dd is hopping mad as it is very special to her that her family have a time that is just for them. It took her dh ages to pluck up the courage to tell her and she is livid. I think I persuaded her that divorce is not such a good idea.grin

Maybe her dh would rather they were on their own. It's very different to have granny tagging along on her own, with the responsibility that entails, to having granny along with other people to keep granny amused.

kittylester Wed 13-Jul-16 16:08:26

And, anyway, I'd like to go away with dh and not have to cope with the rest of them. What does your Dh think of the plan?

WilmaKnickersfit Thu 14-Jul-16 01:53:14

The OP hasn't posted since she started this thread which was almost a month ago. I think we're talking to ourselves.

LullyDully Thu 14-Jul-16 12:35:17

We haven't heard from us because none of us agreed with her and she's going anyway. Good luck. wink

BlueBelle Thu 14-Jul-16 17:36:30

Haha Lullydully I think you are absolutely right I too think she she would have gone anyway

FarNorth Thu 14-Jul-16 18:01:25

Just read all this and it sounds as if the OP maybe is a little pushy, as that could be why the daughter just booked the hol without mentioning it to her.

I hope the OP is quietly taking the advice given on here and not giving her DD any holiday surprises!