Presents for grandchildren rejected

Oh dear Happygran.
I don't want to add to your misery, but perhaps you could try seeing things from your DS and DiL's point of view.
Perhaps they worry that their children are 'spoilt' with too many material possessions.
Perhaps they don't have space in their house for all the stuff you give them.
Perhaps DiL's mother feels she can't compete with you and feels lessened by your largesse.
Perhaps they would rather have had the money to put into a savings account for the GCs, for something the GCs might want or need in the future, like travelling or a university education.
Perhaps they are not controlling at all, but just want to feel that their values regarding their children's upbringing are being respected by you.
Perhaps you'd better get on the phone and apologise.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but if I was your DiL I'd be livid.

If DiL was that bothered she could have censored the presents herself beforehand and just dished out the amount she approved. The others could have come out later on. Concentrate on the fact that your GC probably love the gifts you chose for them and will have no idea that granny goofed.
Son may have found that phone call hard to make, did the words 'thank you' get included at all? Personally I think they should have been.

Sorry Jane but you are way off the mark. Eight small presents is hardly spoiling them, I bought more for my other grandchildren with no problems at all from my other children. You know nothing about my son and dil and believe me they control every aspect of my grandchildrens' loves to the point of not sending them to school as they don't want teachers to impose any form of discipline and they tell my grandchildren that they don't need to say please and thank you if they don't want to! They have a large house by the way.

Thanks for your opinion though.

Happygran I don`t think it unreasonable to buy as many presents as you wish for your GC providing they are not very expensive . Since when have parents vetted presents bought for their children? I don`t think you should apologise at all . I am sorry you have been upset by your Son , he sounds a bit odd to react in that way but it takes all sorts I suppose . I wouldn`t buy anything next year , just send some money to your Son and ask him to buy something pre approved for his children . He is in for a rude awakening when they are older , this much control can backfire

Hi Elrel.

No thanks at all, not even for the bag of presents I gave to son and dil themselves.

I had already given money to my grandson and granddaughter but gave a few extra presents because my daughter was here with my other two granddaughters and I just wanted them all to have the same amount of presents to open!

Well, if that's the case, I'm surprised that you're surprised by your DIL's reaction, Happygran!

Thank you f77ms. Much appreciated. ?

Ana I don't know what you mean?

(Although I agree it's a bit OTT if your son to said that you 'ruined' their Christmas!)

Ana

Do you mean you think I bought too much?

I mean that if you know your son and DIL are so controlling, surely you might have known how they'd react to your giving their children 8 presents each. What's happened in past years, and at birthdays etc?

Happygran, I am sorry that you have been upset. IMHO, your son was out of order ringing you to complain, after you had kindly bought gifts for the children. The parents should have rationed them and let the children open them at intervals, if he felt that they were receiving too much at one go. And as Eirel said, I hope you were thanked for your gifts. How ungrateful can anyone be!

I don't see 8 presents as excessive. That's nothing for me lol. No one else has a problem with it. How could I give more to my other grandchildren and not them? Damned either way!

I bought my 3 about 8 presents each but they were all small inexpensive things bought over the year when I saw interesting things I thought they would like . It is very cruel to be nasty to your Mother whatever the circumstances , he needs a clip round the ear ( as my Mum would have said) metaphorically speaking that is !

Thank you Anyonia. I just feel like an awful gran now and all I wanted to do was make everyone happy.

Sorry I meant Antonia.

Eight each in addition to some money is a lot. Kids do get over-excited and unmanageable sometimes (possibly what 'ruined' the day) and an excess of presents won't help. Maybe some money and one gift each next year? I can imagine parents not wanting their kids to get used to the idea of being showered with gifts every Christmas.

Lol. That made me laugh f x

You could be right thatbags, I am a big, over excitable kid at Christmas time. I just love family and making them happy, trying to anyway.

Fair enough when they're in their own house and want to have their own rules, but when they come to your house Happygran for Christmas with other family members present they should be gracious and grateful. I think your DS was out of order to have a go at you.

Thank you Lillie

It sounds as if your showering those particular grandchildren with gifts is not making their parents happy.

To be honest thatbags it's hard to know what makes them happy sometimes.