Gransnet forums


Today should have been a special day

(25 Posts)
Grannyben Tue 28-Feb-17 09:38:57

Today (well the 29th, but as we haven't got one this year) should have been my silver wedding anniversary. We divorced 2 years ago. I have accepted that we are no longer together and in general my life is fine, I now have my grandchildren who make my life happy. My ex husband appears to have moved on, I am aware that he has had at least 3 other partners since he left. I'm not ready for that yet. This special day has been on my mind for the last few weeks, this morning I woke up and it's here. It was a wonderful wedding day and I can remember every minute of it. I wonder if he has remembered

grannylyn65 Tue 28-Feb-17 09:41:48

Thinking of you flowers

cornergran Tue 28-Feb-17 09:51:34

Why wouldn't you remember a wonderful day? There are always good things to remember, aren't there, even when things go wrong. Chin up. Be kind to yourself today, maybe something to distract you later, can you spend time with family or friends? If not it's OK to just be as you are today.

tanith Tue 28-Feb-17 09:54:03

Its nice to have memories of a happy day flowers.
This year would be my Golden wedding to my first husband we divorced after 21yrs and he passed away a couple of years ago but I know my eldest daughter will remember the date.
Enjoy your happy life Grannyben.

Grannyben Tue 28-Feb-17 09:55:24

I mentioned today to my mum last week. This morning she rang just to see if I fancied a bit of shopping and lunch. Think I'm going to have a big piece of chocolate cake, the diet can start again tomorrow

mcem Tue 28-Feb-17 09:56:43

It was when we reached the silver wedding milestone and decided that we didn't choose to celebrate, that we realised it was time to part. By that time it really wasn't a special day.
More than 20 years later, both having moved on, we're quite good friends.
We've helped to plan weddings and shared DGCs, birthdays and Christenings.
He and his wife host a family party on Boxing Day.
We've shared meals and theatre trips along with family members.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself time - it's still early days.

Lona Tue 28-Feb-17 09:58:44

Life goes on grannyben, but I understand your feelings. flowers
As my mum used to say to me, "count your blessings."

Swanny Tue 28-Feb-17 10:01:09

Grannyben flowers for you. Last New Year's Eve would have been my golden anniversary but we divorced many years ago. For some reason this year it affected me more than any other. However, the following day it was all in the past, and I was able to live for today and tomorrow again, instead of yesterday.

grannylyn65 Tue 28-Feb-17 10:04:05

Personally have never stayed married long enough to reach any significant anniversary blush

Anniebach Tue 28-Feb-17 10:06:07

This happens when there is a special date. Today is my mother's birthday but also the anniversary of my husbands death ,makes for a day of happy memories and much sadness .

Grannyben Tue 28-Feb-17 10:13:57

Thank you all so much. The moment I woke up I knew I was going to turn to Gn today. Grannylyn, you have made me smile. Anniebach, flowers for you also, I will be thinking of you.

Swanny Tue 28-Feb-17 10:15:23

Annie what a mixed day. Thinking of you ((hugs))

Anniebach Tue 28-Feb-17 13:10:29

Grannyben, those thoughts of what might have been, they pass with the day, look forward , you never know who will walk into your life smile

grannypiper Tue 28-Feb-17 14:30:09

Divorce is hard even if you are the one who wanted the divorce. It is normal to grieve and today is one of those days for you Annie grieve, remember, smile and shed a tear if you need to. It is spring tomorrowsmile

shysal Tue 28-Feb-17 15:06:17

Having read this I have worked out that I was married 50 years ago on March 4th. I hadn't given it a thought! We divorced 18 years ago and I haven't felt the need of another partner since.
Grannyben, I hope that like me you will be able to make a better life than before. Happiness doesn't necessarily depend on a man!

sue1169 Tue 28-Feb-17 15:16:15

...dont look back..youre not going that way..💐

Cherrytree59 Tue 28-Feb-17 15:21:01

Your happy memories should always be cherished .
They are part of the tapestry of your life,
flowers for Grannyben and Annie
Also those with bitter Sweet anniversaries

MissAdventure Tue 28-Feb-17 15:26:13

Hope today has been special in a different way for you. Spoil yourself! flowers

SparklyGrandma Tue 28-Feb-17 15:29:35

My ex husband and I are now friends, on the date of what would have been our 35th Wedding Anniversary, we wished each other a Happy ''Non Wedding Anniversary''.

Its sad and I am not making light of anyone's pain or loss, including my own.

But its an achievement we can now talk about it.

Grannyben - sorry for your loss and hoping thoughts of happy memories fill today flowers flowers

Riverwalk Tue 28-Feb-17 15:42:15

Later this year would have been my 40th wedding anniversary - we made it to 25 years and parted, reasonably amicably. We are now reasonably good friends.

flowers for those who find these days especially painful. For me the day will be a bit 'retrospective' but do know it was for the best.

Regardless of: age is just a number; it's just another day; look to the future, etc., particular dates do hit home.

wot Tue 28-Feb-17 17:24:26

grannylyn, 😁 me neither!!

shandi6570 Tue 28-Feb-17 17:38:34

sue1169, what a profound and true saying, never heard it before, but it will become my mantra from now on, thank you.

Grannyben Tue 28-Feb-17 19:52:02

Well, that's another milestone come and gone! It hasn't been a bad day and now, tucked up in bed, is my grandson. In the morning, when he wakes, we will have a lovely snuggle then our breakfast together.

Every evening I have a read of the latest posts on Gn, you never fail to offer support and advice. Thank you all

Rinouchka Tue 28-Feb-17 20:04:39

Keep the good memories, Grannyben, reflect on the milestone day, then move on and enjoy your life and children, grandchildren, friends.
Today ( actually the 29th) is the 5th anniversary of a dear friend's death in 2012 at age 53. We mark the day, think of her with a smile, and make sure we remain in contact with her two beautiful

grannyqueenie Tue 28-Feb-17 23:05:14

I'm glad the day ended on a happier note for you. There nothing like a cuddle with a wee one to make the world feel a warmer and happier place