Suddenly I am feeling old

Couldn't agree more, Grammargran. I am in the next decade to you " horrors"! Like you I am active and busy, look after my disabled husband who fortunately is quite independent. Am involved as much as possible, limited because of distance, with the grandchildren. I have one great blessing - good health! Minor aches and pains yes but on the whole nothing major. I am very grateful for this. Looking round many people are hit by illness early on and have to soldier on in everyday life. Hopefully their children pay them back for all the care lavished on them in childhood!

I love it when youngsters kindly ask if I need help and call me sweet names .. in fact I wallow in it. I always accept offers of help gracefully. It makes them feel good too. Little do they know that at 71,I am still towing a 24 foot caravan all round the country single handed. People on the sites do look surprised especially the younger ladies who have never towed a caravan. I think you have to embrace age and love yourself and your capabilities regardless. If you stop thinking about the way you look and be happy, just be yourself. We can't turn back the clock so why waste time on what we were or wish we were now? No one else worries how we look I'm sure. Accepting ourselves is the main thing, then we will be beautiful at least on the inside.

I know what you mean Floriatosca, I'm 65 and feel sometimes that I am overlooked and my views are ignored. I hate having my photo taken because I look like a faded version of myself. Also am a little more grumpy and opinionated - on the plus side I do not tolerate fools gladly and am less afraid of saying so....

Having said that I am perfectly happy with my lot - it would be lovely to be living a more exciting phase of my life over again, but realistically I am content with what I have now. It must be tough for those who are alone if that is not what they have chosen for themselves, but it happens to most of us, in the end.

I count my blessings, having been married to somebody I actually like for more than 40 years.

I dont mind people calling me dear at all! Just seems friendly to me. I thought they did it to everyone!

I think the depressing thing is that, having spent my life looking forward to things, I am now scared to look forward.

So right about the 'resting face' shock, a little animation does go a long way to perk that up! When my face had a downwards slide a while ago it luckily coincided with Aldi selling the Rio 60second face lift gadget. Bought it in desperation but didn't expect much.well, who'd have thought it, it works, but takes about 20 mins in total daily, I do it while watching telly, and you do have to use it consistently. Couple of friends now bought their own as were impressed.

I'm nearly 80, and still looking after my son and granddaughter who live with me. I don't feel or look as old as that, but I have noticed that I now seem to be invisible to a lot of people.Quite often I get ignored when I'm in a queue, by both shop assistants and other shoppers. Mind you I'm only 4'9'' tall, and sometimes I realise that I'm standing next to young people whose legs finish about where my waist is, so maybe they genuinely don't see me.

Cheers, Lewlew I'm all admiration for those of us approaching (or over!) 80 and still charging ahead on all cylinders. Health makes all the difference of course, our own and OHs'. There don't seem to be enough hours in the day to do what I want to do. that's without even looking at my pre retirement bucket list. (It included getting 'O' Level maths and learning Japanese....)

Yep, my birthday was on Friday, 68. Go and get your nails done, find a good hairdresser and get a nice cut, I don't dye as my hair is silver, have a facial. Do a treat day, just for u?

Feeling very old today having looked after five grandchildren from two families yesterday since it's the school holidays. When I commented to DD last night that I felt tired, she looked amused and said I should try doing it every day as well as working. She has obviously forgotten that I did exactly that 30 years ago! Hair and nails being done later in the week so that I present a younger image when I go on holiday at the weekend.

Hey you young uns !!! I was 80 on Monday and had a lovely Pre-Birthday Family Celebration on Sunday with lots of banners and balloons in the conservatory and my choice of Cup Cakes.....all done by my Lovely DIL....who I call my DD as I never had any children. I just wish I was 60 instead so that I could see my Lovely GD''s
grow into beautiful young ladies.
But I value the relationship we all have NOW.

Count Your Blessings is My Motto. And
Enjoy your "Under 80 Years" NOW while you have them.

I bet your lovely big family absolutely adore you and would be very concerned that you feel as you do. We all have those days when we look in the mirror and think, "how did that happen?" But you must think of how you are inside and all the wonderful things you do by the sound of it and I don't doubt, how much you are loved and valued. I'm a Grandma now and I'm falling over myself to do things for my daughters family , it's such a privilege to be a Gran . Lots of people aren't . I bet you don't look as old as you think so be kind to yourself as you sound just lovely!!!

Dear Floriatosca,

You know what you do - you give yourself some slack! Ageing can be accepted and moved through comfortably with a happy heart if you allow yourself to say thank you to "you" and for the friends and family you have in your life, and have gratefulness for a body that co-operates with the lifestyle that you are choosing to lead. You can't change yesterday and you don't know what tomorrow may bring (especially at this age) so just accept the wrinkles, the less flexible body, the culture that sees you as an "old person" . It's now time to put yourself at the top of your "to do" every morning when you open your eyes and celebrate the wonderful person that age has allowed you to become. There really is no other way forward .....Pauline

I think that when one's partner is ill / needs looking after, it can be such a worrying time, and in some ways can make you feel older than when anything happens to you.
It's like the old joke (for women) that you are as old as the man you feel!
So yes, cut yourself some slack, tell the family you need a bit of time to care for OH, and give yourself a bit of 'me' or at least 'us' time as well.
Pick up again when it suits, and if that is at a slightly lower level, then that's life.
And thanks Pauline!

"Inside every old person, there is a young person wondering what happened" !!! LOL

I have never felt old and I never felt young. The person inside me does not have an age.

The signs of an aging body have never bothered me. They come as no surprise, I have always known that that was part of life's procession from start to finish.

There is absolutely nothing anyone can do about it, why waste anytime even thinking about it, there are so many more useful and pleasurable things to think about.

May you have many more all you who have recent birthdays ?

I feel the same, Floriatosca. My DH has PD and we also have a mentally handicapped son at home, and also do some care of DGC. I've accepted that this is my role. Recently, someone asked how was I, as, he said, this must all be quite hard on me. It was so unexpected, that I was quite overwhelmed, to the extent that tears came! I really appreciated their kindness.

Thank you to all you lovely Gransnetters. Would you believe it ...I was having coffee with a friend on this lovely afternoon and we were chatting about this very subject - feeling a bit older and tired. My friend said "what you??? You always look so trendy and "with it" (!!!) you do so much and are so capable - how can you feel old??? It made me think. I am lucky to have a very positive outlook (apart from this single temporary lapse which alarmed me!!). So thank you all again - we just need to give ourselves a pat on the back sometimes and realise what a lovely, supportive network we are!

It must be a very worrying time for you as your husband is due to have a big heart operation. It is very hard to watch those we love suffering ill-health. Be kind to yourself and ask your family for help. It may be that they don't realise how you are feeling. Trusting all goes well.

Floria, this is the trouble when, as far as family is concerned, we are all things to all people and we are able to smile and stay strong even in troubled times. We end up becoming the family rock, and yes, people know we cope and don't complain. I suspect many of us, now " getting on a bit" feel the same way.

Occasionally it's good to try and be good to ourselves and forget the needs of others for a while, but I think when we become mothers that's it!! We carry on trying to do our best if we possibly can, for all family members.

I try to remember that I have less time in front of me these days, and if I am not going to carve out some blissful 'me time' now, after a life of graft and stress, then when will I?

I think we owe it to ourselves now to try and make life as pleasant and easy as we possibly can, before we pop our clogs.

Old age brings problems with it of health and strength, and although I tell myself I am invincible ( hah!) I know I am slowing down.

Floria, you are not a grump, but you are stretched thinly by all your commitments, and people get so used to you being there and strong that they forget you need time off too, and time to recharge your batteries. I have many health problems but I am so very thankful that I can do things still and be there for my family. Yes, the mirror tells us we aren't as young as we once were, but it's lovely that you are young at heart and don't give in to age. It is but a number. Like you, I am strong in spirit and never want to be a burden to anyone, so I have decided to love myself a little bit more, knowing I can't go on forever.

Try and do a little less for others, and a bit more for yourself if you can. It's a blessing to be strong and healthy but it can mean people take your energy for granted. Be unavailable, occasionally. ( Easier said than done, I know.)

I am about to hit 70 and definitely get tired easily and my skin and face has changed in the last few years but I feel young! I cycle a great deal, in my cycle gear that is not trendy but more comfy. My bike is big and a sit up and beg one with a basket on the front and but I can cycle 30 miles or just over and I have seen younger people in their 30 's using electric bikes! But I still get called dear or worse still sweetie! And asked if I need any help now and again. Floria, treat yourself now and again by doing something just for you and just be proud of yourself for all you have achieved or are doing. Hope this all makes sense.

When I was in my 60s, and looking younger I thought (!) I had an attempted break in. The police came in the middle of the night and were very kind. Then one of them came back to ask some questions - my daughter answered the door and the man asked if a 'little old lady' lived here! We did laugh!

I don't think you are turning into a grump, I think it might have a lot to do with what your DH is going through. My DH is 1 year on from his heart attack/emergency surgery and I too felt as you do after a few months. Everything is in place to support the person who has had the cardiac event, which is as it should be of course, but there is nothing for the person living through it by their side and I could have done with some emotional support myself from someone outside of the family

I have recently applied to renew my passport. If you don't want to look old, don't go abroad! I look better in a photo when I'm smiling but of course that's a no-no for passport pics. I just wanted to crawl into a dark hole somewhere, and I'd had my hair cut and blow-dried before having the photos done .

I'm 69 in July and my mind is willing but my flesh is oh so weak. A gentle stroll with DGS along the canal for one and a half hours yesterday has left me with sore feet and a limp DGS likes to have a 'picnic' lunch when here and spreads a throw on the carpet if we're staying home. 'Sit down grandma' he says. On the occasions I do manage to get down he tries to help me back up after we've had our sandwiches - I wish he wouldn't as I usually end up in a worse state

My skin has become very dry over the last 3-4 years as I can no longer get out of the bath. I used to have a good soak with moisturising stuff but have had to have a shower installed then cover myself with cream after and stand around waiting for it to soak in

BUT I can still go for walks with DGS and have the picnics inside or out and, as long as I keep smiling, I don't look too bad in photos (even though I try not to look at myself in mirrors) and, if I have to go out before 10 in the mornings, I make sure I'm up by 7 o'clock to give my face and legs time to wake up