Suddenly I am feeling old

Seems like you could do with a break - no matter what your age everybody needs a bit of tlc and r and r .
Your family don't realise because you just keep going but maybe try to have a word and be honest and tell them how you're feeling and maybe cut down on what you do a bit .

I understand only too well .I am now officially an old lady !.After going out thinking i was looking pretty good for 65 , jeans and a little scarf wrapped around me throat.A young woman took my shopping trolley and put it on the bus for me, then when i got home i discovered my coat was tucked into myjeans !!!! No wonder i was treated with kindness she probably thought Ah , dear of her , shes old and needs help looking after herself .To top it all , the driver did'nt stop at my stop giving me a fair walk home .I did feel old at the end of that .

Out with GS, 21, he observed me speaking to shop assistants, waiting staff and commented 'You do little old lady very well, don't you? I wonder what they'd think if they knew what you're really like!'
Cue maniacal laughter from us both. Oh dear, my family know me too well!

Floria, you sound remarkable. You're most certainly not being grumpy!

I agree with Marionk. From what you say I think it's really more to do with concern for your husband (congratulations on the near half-century btw!).

A strange side effect of worrying about/looking after someone you love is that you can become utterly convinced you look like a scarecrow when in fact you really, honestly don't. This might sound a bit mad but I'm convinced it's do with very deep emotions actually changing what you see. Fear and exhaustion can make us see things in the mirror that simply aren't real.

This has happened not only to me but to friends as well, which is why I feel I can write about it as an actual (and sadly ignored) sort of emotional phenomenon. I've been the main family 'caregiver' (dread phrase) since I was in my teens and I can't tell you the number of times, over many decades, I've been convinced 'God I look old' but on seeing photos I realize ... I actually looked quite good! Friends in the same situation have believed that they're wrinkling, sagging, etc. when in fact they might look a bit pulled down - sometimes not even that - but no worse.

Funny what love can do!

Of course it would be quite natural if you were to age a bit, going through something as daunting as this. But considering your activities and interests, I really think this might be a case of what I can only think of as 'CCSS' - Concerned Caregiver Scarecrow Syndrome! You probably look much better than you realize. It's probably feelings - dratted things! - affecting your vision!

Really hope I'm not stepping out of bounds if I say it sounds like time other members of the family pulled a bit more weight. That sounded much harsher than I meant it to. When a family is blessed with a wonder such as yourself, it's quite easy - and a complement in a way - that they just assume you can go on being a wonder under any circumstances. But this is the sort of thing where children are really meant to help out. Please forgive me if that sounds horrid. If you don't want their help, that's different. But if you do, please don't feel you're being weak - just tell them. Otherwise, what is a family, really?

Try not to pressure yourself, give yourself a treat (amazing what a bit of chocolate and a Jilly Cooper book can do), and remember that mirrors can distort as much as they can reveal.

Re. being called 'dear' - it's soppy and pointless, but how I miss the days when nearly everyone regardless of age was 'love' or 'dear' or 'duck!' And the chaps in the street with 'Alright, darlin'?' Ah me ... I seem to have gone off topic a bit!

Best of luck to you and your husband. I look after my Mum, whose most serious current condition (out of several!) is cardiac, so, platitudinous as it may sound, I can vouch for the fact that it really is remarkable what they can do these days. And we of the, er, older generations are frequently stronger and more resilient than the young 'uns! Hope all will be well. I hope that works; I tried to do flowers!

Oh I forgot to say congratulations on nearly being a great-grandmother! How exciting.

Just realized I used the word 'convinced' an unusual number of times in my previous post. Sorry about that. It's just such a strange thing, but I do believe it's real.

I seriously doubt that you're either frump or grump! Just a busy person who cares a lot.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts (and positive ideas!). I have had "a lot on my plate" lately, and the concerns over my husband's operation on Friday have not helped. I do not get any support from family but realise they have busy lives. I think because I have always been seen as a strong capable person people close to you never realise that just sometimes you are a bit vulnerable and in need of a little hand hold. Not once has anyone asked how I am, but lovely Gransnetters you did and came up with positive solutions and support. I really am grateful - thank you.xx

The first time I felt my age was about 10 years ago when on holiday relaxing by the pool when a young couple next to us offered to carry our sun beds for us.Although i was 70 then but felt quite capable but it was very kind of them.

I was showing GS2 (4) one of my paintings and he kindly told me that it was quite good but I'm too old now to be really good

I had to laugh the other day, GD5 a future skateboarder was telling me that GS9 can't do the tricks on his skateboard like she can and he is really old. Apparently from other comments she has made anyone over the age of six is old.

We should all just give up worrying about our age, the alternative isn't so good.