Suddenly I am feeling old

No of course you are not - and even if you were (less of the "old") you would have earned the right!
Ageing does seem to come in spurts, doesn't it! Pics of me 2 years ago (which I hated at the time) now look perfectly acceptable. Things I did quite happily 2 or 3 years ago now look "challenging"! I have just turned 69 and am not bothered so much by the number but the gradual erosion of some of my faculties AND confidence.
Shop assistant call me "my dear" not Madam, my heels languish in the wardrobe because I can no longer walk in them, my jaw sags and droops and frankly I would rather not have mirrors in the house. I too have a poorly DH and get sad when the DDs do not necessarily seem to be supportive (I am sure they mean to and are great in a crisis) but just an awareness of the drain on my energy would be appreciated.
So what to do?
Join the club
Do not put your glasses on until you have finished in the bathroom/bedroom
Treat yourself to a new lippy/necklace/scarf /jeans/pair of funky trainers (or all of them)
Remember to use blusher
Have lunch with a friend and drink too much (taxi or lift)
Say sod it every so often and sit down with a new book

Been there, doing it and actually in awe of all you are doing!

Suddenly shop assistants are calling me dear. I hate it, especially when they are younger than my sons. I notice that they don't call anyone under 60 'dear' so it's definitely ageist. I would look ridiculous if I said "please don't patronise me" so I let it go. Is it just me? Does anyone else have an elegant way of dealing with this?

I got a 'darling' from a check-out lady the other day! I suppose it should bother me, but life's too short to upset people who are just being - by their own standards - kindly.

Yes I sympathise with you I'm 65, then I think lots would like to change places with me, come back to life with a few wrinkles, aches and pains instead of being dead.

The last two times I got the train to mums I was offered help carrying my case up the steps over to the other platform. I'm 63 but thought I looked younger!

Thank you all for your thoughts. MawBroon (just love your username!) you are right of course. I will just "dust myself off" and Get on With It. It is usually me who is the one full of ideas and suggestions. I always. support and encourage (when asked for of course) friends and family. I am always busy and have lots of projects and plans on the go. In fact anyone who knows me would, I think, not believe it was me reading my original posting. I am very conscious that we are alive and for the most part feel well, acknowledging that many others have not been so lucky. I have just been feeling a bit sorry for myself lately (snap out of it!). I am happily "there" for other people but realise no one EVER asks how I am. Entertaining, looking after grandson plus a poorly husband goes unnoticed as I appear to be a very capable person. I will buy that new lippy and blusher and crack on! Thanks again.

I get dear in the shops now, and I am 64. I feel like screaming at them, but of course I say nothing. I don't feel like " Dear" I feel fine, apart from first thing in the morning, but once the Rigor Mortis wears off I am off like a shot. I overtake everyone when walking down to the shops, even the young ones, just cannot walk slowly.

I am slim, wear jeans, must be the face . As I said on the make up thread. I need a paper bag over it ..oh well the Dog still loves me

Well done Floria. You sound amazing with all the things you do. I think if parents have always been very involved and capable our children just don't realise we are getting a bit older. I am sure they really appreciate all you do but just don't think to tell you . Remember to take some time for yourself .

Recently I felt my face had taken the next step into old age. It didn't bother me, that's life.

Then yesterday DDiL, DGD and I went out for the day. At one place we visited we asked for the Concession rate for me and the lady looked at me and said. You have to be over 65 to get the concession rate. I smiled sweetly and said, I am nearer 75 than 65, which, at 74 this year, I am. All of a sudden I felt quite young and skittish

Take MawBroon's advice - she's usually right!

My lovely sister used to say "Don't call me dear, call me expensive"!!!!!!

I am 60, look after my health and figure and have a strict face cream regime. I have let my hair go grey but it's cut and styled and blow dried every day. In short, I make an effort and, until now, haven't looked older than my age.

However, I guess it is all down to genetics but I have begun to look jowly and my face is slipping southwards. In photos I can do the 'smiling facelift' but when I catch sight of my immobile resting face I am appalled at the miserable looking old woman who looks back.

I am seriously considering a bit of help but have no idea what I should have done. I probably can't afford extensive medical intervention and have no idea which of the expensive and various treatments on offer these days would work.

Has anyone any suggestions?

Remember, Lilyflower, the still face you look at in the mirror is not the face seen by others because it lacks the animation of a face presented to the outside world. I look awful when I get out of bed (especially as my bedroom has a lot of large mirrors - vain? moi?) but when the nice clothes, and the war paint is on I look halfway decent. Don't judge yourself by the home-alone look.

reply thank you sweetheart or similar.......touché

br0adwater. You dont think they are just being kind, rather than being patronising?

Another tip to avoid looking old, is not to wander round a supermarket leaning on your trolley as if it was a walking frame. Hold yourself tall.

I'd like to let go of the valuing myself by how I look and by what I do for others. I'm still learning how to do that.

Floria - how are you?

A new revised haircut always makes me feel better and eye make up too!
However the other day, out with my son, he met a friend and they talked cars. The friend said he's frequently seen 'an old biddy' driving a rare and very fast car in the neighbourhood..."she won't have a clue what she's got"...."that would be me" I said.

No you are not a grump But sometimes if someone just said and how are you ! It would make all the difference . When your children have children they forget you are there and have feelings. We are thinking of you and hope all goes well .

I was 70 on Sunday. Somehow it sounds a lot older than 69. The beginning of proper old age, maybe. Or is 70 the new 60? That's what I'll tell myself, at any rate

I don't think you are turning in to an old grump Floriatosca! Just your body letting you know you are not as young as you feel. You have more than enough to cope with I would say so no wonder you are feeling the strain. Give yourself a break!

It would be nice if we could all go back to being 21! I wish I could do the things I could do then, but I have to suffer with an arthritic knee, caused by all that badminton, hill walking and cycling! You do these things to keep fit in old age and look what happens. All your bits start showing wear and tear. It happens to us all. I bet your family think you will go on for ever! Time flies.

Happy Birthday Blinko !

Yes, time does catch us up... but I will say that not having had my own children, and my stepsons were almost adults when I married their dad (mum had died), I am now enjoying being a grandma. DGD makes my life fuller and I feel more active. Younger? No... but I have to work with what I have. I don't now feel my best days are behind me now at least since she's come along as I want to see how 'her story' turns out as she grows up, and I am still working for myself.

Spa days now and then with my grown niece and DIL help!

to everyone!

For goodness sake, all those of you in your 60s, you're far from old, stop it as once! I'm 78 this year and my 60s seem a distant memory. You're right, Blinko , 70 is the new 60 - I still go to Keep Fit, walk, belong to several organisations, have an active social life, and still host all major family events, including doing most of the Christmas cooking. I know I'm lucky and count my blessings every day - I do have aches and pains and they annoy me incredibly, but I'm not old old yet ..... !!!

I agree with Floriatosca and Mawbroon although I can give you a couple of decades.

Sympathies about looking after - and worrying about - DH. My DH is recovering from leg reconstruction which included plastic surgery. When joint replacement doesn't work, then joint revision doesn't work, reconstruction of the whole limb is the next step - the alternative is amputation.

I have no one else to look after, but sometimes it has felt like being a slave.

As regards appearance, I've managed to lose weight. Was nearly up to 13 stone a few years ago, now down to 10 1/2.

DH hasn't aged as much as I have. He has a 'Mediterranean' type of skin which seems to wrinkle less. My English rose complexion is long gone.

But we are still here, still have things to look forward to, still enjoy the things we do together. Meeting each other back in 1997 - unlikely as it was - has been one of the great blessings of life for both of us.