How do you deal with compliments ?

It isnt a case of being rude by not accepting a compliment HannahLoisLuke it is not having the confidence to accept the compliment and the feeling that you do not deserve it.

I often give compliments and also enjoy receiving them, although I've had to teach myself to accept them gracefully. I think it's rather rude to shrug them off after someone has been kind to say something nice.

I receive compliments with a thank you. (My husband compliments me by saying, 'How much did that cost me?) I just know when I look good, but it's still nice to receive compliments, especially at my age!

Christine

KatyK that made me chuckle, at least you were stunning for part of the time

Just say 'Thanks!' and look pleased :-)

I agree polly However some people don't seem to care about being show offy. I have a friend who is 69 and looks OK but thinks she's gorgeous. She never compliments anyone else. The nearest I've got to a compliment from her is when she said to me 'you used to be stunning didn't you?

I think it's because we dont want to appear arrogant or showy offy"

I too find it difficult to accept compliments - conversations go a bit like this:
Them: 'I like your top, it really suits you'. Me: 'Oh, this old thing, Ive had it ages, glad you like it but I think it makes me look fat"
Them: 'You've got a lovely voice and sing so well'
Me: 'Oh not really, I often go wrong and my voice isnt as good as it used to be"
I really have to work hard at the gracious thanks response!

My DH still thinks I'm that girl he met in 1967. Oh how I wish.....

cangran That is very sad and rang true and brought back a memory.

I worked for a man once in the US who treated his wife like that...she worked at the office as well. I had my hair cut and she complimented me on how nice it looked and we shared hair-stories. The 'boss' piped up and said that his wife will not be permitted to cut her hair, he didn't marry a boy. The wife just looked embarrassed. I could not say anything, of course, being the employee. I also knew she suffered from ulcers and the reason was becoming more and more clear.

Years and years later I would see her around and she always had that same old hairstyle. She was also always very skinny and now she just looked drawn. I think him now being home and retired was taking its toll.

Move ahead many more years... he had died and I saw her on a visit back to the hometown and she looked amazing at 75 !!!

Just being out from under his thumb did wonders. Sadly she died a couple of years later, so didn't get long to enjoy her independence. There's a lesson here... there was a lot of mental abuse in his dismissal of her and objectifying her as his 'accessory'.

My hubby is great at giving compliments. He tells me I'm gorgeous all the time. When we're out and about he finds reasons to say lovely things to people, usually women, but that's ok.

Grannypiper ! Girl after my own heart!

I smile shyly and say thank you, then when no-one is looking i run around the room whopping and cheering

Quite, gillybob!

OMG Rigby46 .

I find it very easy to give a compliment (it makes me feel good) but find it almost impossible to accept one, usually dismissing anything remotely complementary as "you should've gone to spec savers" or "are you having a laugh" etc.

When you have been brought up to think know that you are ugly, stupid and worthless that tends to be what sticks.

My DGC are the most beautiful, intelligent little people that ever existed. I am breaking the mold.

I'm wondering if saak holds shares in a legal company that specialises in marital & family law.

You seem to be reading an awful lot into "My husband never compliments me", and one derogatory remark about a hairdo, stillaliveandkicking.

Some comments on here really resonate with me -eg ana's. I was brought up as perhaps many of us were to shrug off a compliment and had to work really hard to learn to graciously accept them. I hope I do that well now - I try and add something to the thank you such as , if the comment was 'your new hairstyle suits you' ' thank you, I've got a lovely hairdresser' - just to make it a bit more of a response. I used to say things like eg in response to hairstyle compliment ' oh really , I think it's a bit messy'. Then I realised that dismissing a person's compliment is really saying they don't have any taste! I was discussing this with a colleague the other day and she said she'd complimented someone on a pretty necklace they were wearing and the response was ' well so it should be it was very expensive ' . We were both a bit .

Don't think I would chuck OH for not admiring my hair !!

Not sure I'd go on line to happily berate my husband/partner either. If you have respect from both sides you wouldn't do such a thing would you?

Yes men who constantly make women feel like shit do need to be divorced, left of whatever you care to call it.

That's up to you of course saak but is it necessary to advise others to leave too.

Im more for thinking that we are all equal and someone constantly speaking to me in a derogatory way would make me leave them. I don't believe in putting up and shutting up.

Im more for not entering into the man is the king of the castle thing.