Baby Showers

I really dislike baby showers too, and would never go to one again if I could avoid it.
A closer friend of my daughter's had a baby recently and her "Best Friend" organised it and told everybody that only gift vouchers from certain shops would be acceptable - very mercenary I believe... Most of the guests ignored the rule and took presents.
It turned out the the mum-to-be was not aware of the gift ruling and was very grateful for the lovely gifts that her real friends brought for her!

It's a lovely ladies only party with some games, food and small gifts. Have an afternoon of chat and laughter with family and friends. I think the size/value of gifts depend on whether you expect to see the new baby fairly soon after birth or not, for instance my daughter had one where friends from work who were not going to see her again for a few months brought gifts, but some close family members who would be around in the first few weeks brought nothing or food.

If it's her first child, it's an almost-final chance to do something adult for quite a while. Take something along for the Mum as things will be all about the baby for months if not years afterwards. I do like the idea of your playmat but keep it till baby is born.

Growing up in the 60s and 70s... I had my senior year (age 18) prom, not anything as extravagant as they are today... yikes, things have gotten out of control! My boyfriend and I went out to dinner (you get a lot of grown up attention if you are in formal wear) as you do, then to the prom for dancing. After that we changed to shorts and tee shirts and drove to the beach to crash out in sleeping bags with about twenty other couples after a beach bonfire, roasting hot-dogs and marshmallows. Those were the days!

As people did not live together before marriage, we had bridal showers to help the new bride set up home. Anyways, now people don't usually need home essentials as they probably already have their own homes or are living together.

I much prefer a bridal shower to a 'hen night' or bachelorette party as they do there. Hen do's here make me cringe. And to expect someone to fly to Ibiza or Vegas for it is very cheeky. My niece had three in one year and it drove her broke. My soon to be official DIL is having a local spa day, then dinner out. No drunken revelry on the cards.

Baby showers are useful... usually given in the 8th month when we know all would be OK. Nappies and other baby consumables that get expensive as time goes on were the usual gifts, not posh baby outfits. Women who knitted would make layettes or receiving blankets, etc.

Wow, this has been a remarkable journey! I searched on Mumsnet and it would appear very few people are in agreement, the mums included. One mum-to-be had loads of invites sent out by her friend and only her neighbours, 2 work colleagues and close family came. There really doesn't seem to be a hard and fast rule and I'm rapidly going off the idea of even attending.

However, I have come to a decision. The baby will be born in Cornwall and goodness only knows when I'll get to see it (I only see my great-niece once or twice a year). So I'm going to finish the playmat and give it to her at the shower. I did look in Next today but the cheapest body suit was £7 and the quilt hasn't cost anything like that, since I already had most of the fabric!

Thanks everyone for your contributions. I fear this will be an ongoing argument.

Now, relax and b-r-e-a-t-h-e

A South African colleague organised a baby shower for me with a group of close female colleagues. It was just a lovely relaxed lunch, with small gifts of a baby music CD, nappies and just lots of well wishes. I didn't have the chance to see much of them after my DD1 was born and so in a way it was nice to have the chance to spend time together before it was all hands on deck with the baby.
I've also been to baby showers of American and South African friends, it really was just a friendly gathering of friends and very symbolic of the network of support that you need when you're going through this stage in life. The American one was more about party game-playing and placing bets on the future baby's weight, sex and time of birth etc, which I honestly find all a bit OTT, but still overall it is a pleasant way to spend an afternoon.