No regrets? Or too many to mention ?

I have two regrets: one I regret worrying so much about my teenagers as they have turned out to be wonderful people and two being an only child, even though I can't do anything about that.

Isn't that what life is all about, making mistakes and learning from them....

Veda, I could not have coped with my husbands death or the loss of two babies - not my decision - without the love of Christ , he promised - I am with you always

Annie Thankyou so much for sharing this, it has really made me think. I have as many regrets as the next person, mostly that I wasn't as close to my mother, or as kind to her, as I could have been.

I should have gone to see my mum more often towards the end of her life. She lived 300 miles away and I didn't want to take too much time off work. Looking back my work wasn't important but mum was!

I often think back on my life and I spent far far too much of my precious energy on me me me and worry worry about things out of my control which all works itself out anyway in the end whether good or bad - I lost my husband in 2008 and do regret now taking so much for granted and how I would depend on him so much - yes my biggest Regret is taking so much for granted and I should have been more dependent but then it is all lessons in life to make us the people we are today and to this day I am still learning!!!

Nellie what a life-enriching post! Thank you.
My life was very humdrum, other than an alcoholic/Victorian father. My regret is having been too scared to go against my parents. I would have liked to have been a teacher - on the other hand, I would never have come to the UK, met my wonderful DH, had my trio of DCs etc.
So whatever life throws at you, "make lemonade"!!!

Anniebach I'm sending you a big hug. I have many regrets. I've found this life very difficult indeed. Nanaan if only your philosophy was corrrect. I question "The future is anything I choose to make." Many of our problems can be brought upon us by others' actions therefore we have no control. Many of my troubles were caused by other people. L The one thing that has kept me going through these enormous problems is my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Without Him there would be no meaning to any of this. ??????

Working, working, working instead of spending more time with my DH and DC and in particular not retiring when my husband did but waiting instead until he had a massive stroke and I became his carer for 11 years is definitely my biggest regret. We had planned so much together that never materialised. I do some of these things now but feel guilty every day as I should have done them with my DH instead. He begged me enough time to give up work, but I loved it and the money was good.
So sorry Annie for your loss particularly under the circumstances'

To many regrets to mention. I had a car crash life from the age of 10 but I don't dwell on it and I am happy now even though alone. I imagine a place deep inside my head where all the unhappy memories are squeezed tight and if one of them rises to the surface I push it down again and seek a distraction activity.

Many of the responses to this post made me cry so I'm off to the garden to do a bit of digging and see my friend the robin who hops around me whatever I am doing. I only need to look at photos of my DGCs too to know that difficult as it was I raised kids who are good people and the GCs are a never ending joy.

We all have regrets but you cannot go back therefore you have to make the most of what you have got. I regret taking my husband back after he was unfaithful but the whole dynamics of our life would be totally different now and I might not have my beautiful grandchildren. life is ok and I make the most of it but I often wonder where my life would be had I thought of myself and not others at the time.

One of my biggest regrets is not having learned to play the piano when I was younger. I never even asked my parents whether I could have one, let alone lessons, because experience had shown that I couldn't ask them for anything. After I was married we lived in a semi-detached house so pianos were out of the question because of the neighbours. I had to wait until my mid-thirties by which time I had a little money and the price of electronic pianos that you could plug headphones into had come down. Of course, as an adult it's much more difficult because your brain has stopped developing, and it's still an uphill struggle now - it takes me ages to learn anything. By contrast, I always pulled out the stops for my daughters to have music lessons, do amateur operatics, whatever they showed an interest in.

Annie my heart goes out to you.
My regrets are the fact I was not with either of my parents when they died, I live in another Country and it was not possible to be with them, but I am sure they knew I would have been with them if it had been possible, we were a very close family.

my biggest regrets i have two the first was marrying the second husband who thought more of his ex wife than me was always running around after her. so divorced, the second giving in to my daughter and not going knocking on her door demanding to see my GD she banned me from seeing her for a trival reason and made up lies which she told everyone and refused to talk it over with me now its almost eight years later and still not seen GD

Annie, a wise and salutary advice that I had vicariously through a friend. She had a row with her teenage daughter and didn't say goodbye as daughter left the house. Later that night her daughter was killed in a car crash, to make it worse the daughter was driving and the friend with her was also killed. How I feel deeply for that friend, so I always leave loved ones on a positive note, and them knowing that I love them unconditionally.

Sometimes I come near to regretting not marrying the man I should have married, but then I wouldn't be where I am today, happily in this paradise with the third man in my life!! Also I would have been a widow now.

I have had a varied and interesting life which I look back and think whoa what a ride. But most of all I could never wish away my DCs, who would not have been if I had married the other man.

Life is what you make it and it makes you.

I believe we go the path we are meant to and even if we feel regret for not doing something, we were never actually meant to do it. I am embarking on an adventure and people have said that I will look back and wonder 'what if' if I don't do it. I am following the path I am meant to so will never be in the position where I wonder 'cos I know I have no choice...hahaha Gawd, I am getting all philosophical. This is what happens when I haven't had my first cup of coffee. Anyway, all of you have a lovely day and never regret anything... Oh and read desiderata...

Not getting on with making a secure financial life for myself before settling down to marrying and having my family...
Not saving enough to buy a home of my own ...before settling down to marrying...and becoming a lifelong cook and cleaner
biggest regret...not getting there to tell Mum how thankful I was for everything...before she passed away in the early hours of an April Morning..that hurts most of all....

Some huge personal and emotional regrets but two practical ones. Not having gone to university when I easily could have done and and not having made more effort to pass a driving test. Either or both would have made a big difference to my life, opened up opportunities.
Never mind, I expect other aspects I've enjoyed would not have happened!

No point in regrets really unless something can be done about them!

Rosina, not a sad time now, I don't dwell on it, it happened, but after nearly forty years I cannot dismiss the last time I saw my husband

Kitspurr. Thanks. I tell myself that but I do wish that I had let her in as I know that I do calm her down. I spoke to the Police through the window and they told me to log it with the Council but I'm not going to do that yet, just keep a record in case I do have to. I did tell the Housing Officer soon after she moved in that I thought she was overwhelmed by the move and may need more help and she said that she would see if the tenant had a support worker and let her know. She is in her young 20s. It would be easier if she were older.

1 Not working hard enough at school to go to University.
2 First Marriage - too young to understand properly.
3 Tried naturism in late 40's and should have done it much sooner. Now too old for that sort of thing!

Of course I've made a lot of mistakes as have we all but then I haven't done too badly.

Focus on your lives together, 1 tiny fleeting moment after an argument will only be forgiven when you forgive yourself, it doesn't matter it will never matter hold onto the laughter the love you had he would hate for you to hold onto that fleeting moment forever it just doesn't matter x

Annie, my heart goes out to you; regret is a terrible thing to live with, but as others have said here you must have happy memories to think about too. My life is far from 'regret free' where the loved ones who are no longer here are concerned, but those loved ones would never want us to be unhappy. They would likely brush off the regrets and tell us to be happy; in our hearts we know that they wouldn't be resentful. I hope all of these posts help you over what is clearly a sad time for you at the moment.

Jaycee5, that is horrible for you but you could have only done what was right at the time. At least you called for help, many wouldn't have even done that. Annie, it reminds me of a of what the Nuns used to tell me when I was young, that an act of unkindness towards another might leave you with regrets if anything happens to them and you don't have the chance to apologise. I think they might have put it quite strongly but I'm only human and sometimes I can't shake that mood until much later, especially when I was younger. Thank you for sharing your story, I am going to try harder because it really made me think.
I regret being arrogant enough to think I could 'change' a psychopath through love and having 2 children with him. I should have thought about genetics, left the moment I realised how wrong I'd been which was when I was pregnant with the first child instead of spending the entire pregnancy in anxious tears, cowering but too terrified to leave. I don't recognise that woman now! I left when I was pregnant with the second child but by that time, between the two of us, we'd done untold emotional damage to my first born which I fear stays with her 30 years down the line. Don't get me wrong, I adore my children and don't regret them, I just regret their parentage.

Annie? I think we all have regrets some which affect our lives , mine are small ones like wishing I had moved to Australia when I married my oh really wanted to go but I thought I would miss my parents too much on reflection I could have come home if I didn't settle but money was tight. I suppose we all have what ifs