No regrets? Or too many to mention ?

my biggest regrets i have two the first was marrying the second husband who thought more of his ex wife than me was always running around after her. so divorced, the second giving in to my daughter and not going knocking on her door demanding to see my GD she banned me from seeing her for a trival reason and made up lies which she told everyone and refused to talk it over with me now its almost eight years later and still not seen GD

Annie my heart goes out to you.
My regrets are the fact I was not with either of my parents when they died, I live in another Country and it was not possible to be with them, but I am sure they knew I would have been with them if it had been possible, we were a very close family.

One of my biggest regrets is not having learned to play the piano when I was younger. I never even asked my parents whether I could have one, let alone lessons, because experience had shown that I couldn't ask them for anything. After I was married we lived in a semi-detached house so pianos were out of the question because of the neighbours. I had to wait until my mid-thirties by which time I had a little money and the price of electronic pianos that you could plug headphones into had come down. Of course, as an adult it's much more difficult because your brain has stopped developing, and it's still an uphill struggle now - it takes me ages to learn anything. By contrast, I always pulled out the stops for my daughters to have music lessons, do amateur operatics, whatever they showed an interest in.

We all have regrets but you cannot go back therefore you have to make the most of what you have got. I regret taking my husband back after he was unfaithful but the whole dynamics of our life would be totally different now and I might not have my beautiful grandchildren. life is ok and I make the most of it but I often wonder where my life would be had I thought of myself and not others at the time.

To many regrets to mention. I had a car crash life from the age of 10 but I don't dwell on it and I am happy now even though alone. I imagine a place deep inside my head where all the unhappy memories are squeezed tight and if one of them rises to the surface I push it down again and seek a distraction activity.

Many of the responses to this post made me cry so I'm off to the garden to do a bit of digging and see my friend the robin who hops around me whatever I am doing. I only need to look at photos of my DGCs too to know that difficult as it was I raised kids who are good people and the GCs are a never ending joy.

Working, working, working instead of spending more time with my DH and DC and in particular not retiring when my husband did but waiting instead until he had a massive stroke and I became his carer for 11 years is definitely my biggest regret. We had planned so much together that never materialised. I do some of these things now but feel guilty every day as I should have done them with my DH instead. He begged me enough time to give up work, but I loved it and the money was good.
So sorry Annie for your loss particularly under the circumstances'

Anniebach I'm sending you a big hug. I have many regrets. I've found this life very difficult indeed. Nanaan if only your philosophy was corrrect. I question "The future is anything I choose to make." Many of our problems can be brought upon us by others' actions therefore we have no control. Many of my troubles were caused by other people. L The one thing that has kept me going through these enormous problems is my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Without Him there would be no meaning to any of this. ??????

Nellie what a life-enriching post! Thank you.
My life was very humdrum, other than an alcoholic/Victorian father. My regret is having been too scared to go against my parents. I would have liked to have been a teacher - on the other hand, I would never have come to the UK, met my wonderful DH, had my trio of DCs etc.
So whatever life throws at you, "make lemonade"!!!

I often think back on my life and I spent far far too much of my precious energy on me me me and worry worry about things out of my control which all works itself out anyway in the end whether good or bad - I lost my husband in 2008 and do regret now taking so much for granted and how I would depend on him so much - yes my biggest Regret is taking so much for granted and I should have been more dependent but then it is all lessons in life to make us the people we are today and to this day I am still learning!!!

I should have gone to see my mum more often towards the end of her life. She lived 300 miles away and I didn't want to take too much time off work. Looking back my work wasn't important but mum was!

Annie Thankyou so much for sharing this, it has really made me think. I have as many regrets as the next person, mostly that I wasn't as close to my mother, or as kind to her, as I could have been.

Veda, I could not have coped with my husbands death or the loss of two babies - not my decision - without the love of Christ , he promised - I am with you always

Isn't that what life is all about, making mistakes and learning from them....

I have two regrets: one I regret worrying so much about my teenagers as they have turned out to be wonderful people and two being an only child, even though I can't do anything about that.

I have several really big regrets. Starting my first diet when I was 12 (have battled with my weight ever since). Allowing my mother to bully me, even when an adult and married (I have only stood up to her in the past 2 years). Taking the job that I did for 10 years before I retired (it destroyed my mental health and has left me with a legacy of acute anxiety). But I have also had lots of really good things happen to me!!

Lady Penelope, I took up the piano again in my 60s, had only ever passed grade 2 at about 10 yrs old. It had been so long I virtually to start again from scratch. (I used the Carol Barratt classical,piano course for adult beginners, in case anybody might be interested)
I think your brain can adapt - establish new pathways. Mine has certainly had to! I have come a long way in maybe 4 and a half years - playing grade 5 pieces for some time and have just embarked on a lovely G6, something I never even imagined a few years ago, when even G2 pieces seemed so daunting.
But it's been slow, and there's no doubt that it takes me longer to learn things than when I was a child.
I have been going to group lessons for maybe 4 years now - though didn't have the nerve until I'd been at it again for about a year - it's a local adult education class, and that's been good.
Among other things, I do regret giving up the piano at 11. Can't even really think why now, except that lessons were at junior school, and maybe it was too difficult once I changed schools. Maybe it didn't occur to my folks to find another teacher.

Nothing that I really regret just mistakes I've made. If I hadn't married my 1st H I wouldn't have met my 2nd H. My 2nd H is my DD's F, he walked out on us when DD was 5 years old.

My 2nd H leaving spurred me on to go to College, there through a friend I made I met my beloved DH (no 3), I had 23 fantastic years with him, 21 of those married. My life has had many twists & turns.

I couldn't wish for my life to be better now, still miss my DH 4 years on, now living near my DD & DGS & making new friends.

So no regrets just mistakes & making the best of life

Regrets at not taking opportunities that came my way ...but overall I would steal the song My Way ..a funeral favourite as well as Edith Piaff last week at a funeral of a neighbour here Non,je n'regrette n' rien ' which is a wonderful way of looking at life

Don't feel guilty about things that happened in the past as in not being able to say sorry ...instead remember the good and positive things

Good for you Legs55! A fantastic attitude, thanks for sharing!

My biggest regret is that I did not stand up to my bullying stepfather when I was young. He was a truly dreadful man, who knocked Mum about too, and as I have only recently discovered, much worse to my siblings. I was absolutely terrified of him.
To cut a long story short:
I finally stood up to him when I was in my thirties, having not seen him for several years.
He tried to bully me again, shouting at me and poking his finger into my chest.
I completely flipped.
All the anger that had built up, suddenly came to the surface.
I screamed back at him at the top of my voice, I used swear words that I would never have dreamed of using, and yes, I poked him back in the chest too, and hard.
I could not believe his reaction. He stepped away from me. At last, the bully was getting a taste of his own medicine.
He threatened to call the Police.
Without mentioning the expletives that I used, I told him to do so.
Guess what, he didn't.
I never had any more problems with him after that.

'If only' are the worst 2 words in the English language. My only regret is that I would have liked to have ridden a horse on a beach! Otherwise I've learned from things I've done wrong and after worrying and crying for a bit, have moved on. Some things can't be changed so it's not worth spending time with regrets.

I was chatting with my three children and they got around to talking about disappointments. My youngest(now in his 50's) said his biggest disappointment happened when he was about five. Together with his siblings they were building a rocket in the shed, to go to the moon.
It was only when the eight year-old started talking about 'Re-entry burn out' and the need for heat shields
that he realised that maybe they wouldn't be going.
That disappointment out did everything else that life has thrown at him.
Made me wonder if we all expect too much of ourselves. We did the best we could with the information we had at the time.

I've been pissed a couple of times I shouldn't have, and really regret it although it's such a long time ago!

There are many things i regret, most of all i regret the hurt I may have or have caused other people, i beat myself up over that all the time and it disturbs my sleep and my thoughts can become obsessive about how bad i was at a certain time in my life. If only, if only.......

paddy ann I'm sending you It is strange that this has come up. I'm a bit late looking at this thread, but I have exactly the same feelings, and even after nearly 40 years I have been worrying about incidents recently, crying and not being able to sleep. None of them really were massive crimes and no hurt was done really, but I cannot forgive myself for them. Most of them were things I said to my sons when they were children, and they don't even remember them. Even thoughts I had make me feel guilty.

It has got to the stage that even being around children and pregnant women is painful, and I have given up helping at a local play group.

I realise this post is bit long and late, may not be read, but it has made me feel better for typing it.

Love to all you other gransnetters who feel the same, in fact to you all.