My heart has just been broken.......

I agree with those who think it is his own feeling of guilt that he is communicating. I hope the family get-together goes well and that you can both relax afterwards. You sound like a caring, kind person, but you must also take care of yourself, you are just as important as the others!

Thank you for your responses, maybe i am just feeling a bit sensitive today. I had been shopping for food etc for Sunday and getting in a bit of a panic about whether i had enough. Also i know he doesnt enjoy anything like this which kind of puts me on tenderhooks i suppose.

Yes, I think he's talking about his own feelings, not yours.
Try not to take it personally.
TBH I sometimes say to my dear husband, "Sometimes I don't know how I put up with you!" and he agrees. Which happened today once.
He says the same to me, but not so often.

As you have done so much for him possibly he feels inadequate as a husband

Yes I agree, I know it must have been upsetting for you to hear travelsafar but try not to take it to heart. He obviously knows all you've done for him and the family and possibly feels guilty and pretty useless.

I wouldn't take this too seriously travelasfar, sounds like he is upset and worried over the forthcoming family event.
We say hurtful things when we are worried or afraid and comments are usually directed at our nearest and dearest.
Sit down with him and tell him how his words hurt you, he needs to understand you are upset too.

Tbh he sounds as if he might be depressed, travelsafar

We were talking about a family gathering and i know he doesnt enjoy entertaining but we do it maybe once or twice a year at the most. He alluded to the fact that my children from previous marriage, who will be there, just put up with him and thats when he said that i do too.

I too am a little bit puzzled travelsafar. it doesn't take much

Is he worried that you don't love him but just tolerate him?

Can you explain what you mean please?

Perhaps he's really insecure...

Sorry, but without the ccontext I don't know how to reply. Was he fishing for compliments, or hoping that you'd contradict him? Did he say it in a joking manner?

How did it arise?