Bereavement before a wedding

my brother and his wife asked us, as a family, if they should defer their wedding after our mother died a couple of months before. All the family, especially our father , were clear that Mum would have been horrified to think she had caused that kind of worry and concern! They just had a simple toast to 'loved ones unable to be with us'. It was a joyful wedding and mum would have been so pleased!

At my daughter's wedding we had a candle with her Father's photo on it and a little poem remembering him. This was lit in the church and at the reception and she paid tribute to him in a speech. She also had ribbons printed with photos of my husband and I at our wedding and her grandparents at their wedding which hung from her bouquet. Not what everybody would want but it was a comfort to her.

On the day of my brother's wedding my aunt had a stroke and passed away. It was the first time all my mother's family had been together for many years which may not have helped.
Luckily my brother and his wife had just left for their honeymoon so they never found out unttil they returned.

Sorry to hear about your loss. I expect your lovely Grandad would have wanted your wedding to go ahead ,,,love the idea of placing a candle or something else on a table in remembrance of his long life.

In my case, my mother was in her last days being cared for in a nursing home but was expected to live for a further month .....I was married on the Saturday and some lovely friends drove my dad to my wedding so he could give me away ,,,they only stayed a short time at the reception and drove him home again (about 80 miles) I gave him my bouquet to take to my mum ......I had asked the vicar if I should cancel the wedding, but he said no, you will need the support of your husband and his family ......my dad said my mum would be there when I got back from honeymoon and that she and he both thought I should go (I was also going to cancel that)....I phoned the nursing home every day ..couldn't speak to mum as she was too ill ....they assured me all was ok....the day before I was due to return she died ..so I never got to see her again but my dad said she was happy to hear I had got married so that was comforting.

I hope you and your family will be able to have a lovely wedding and a celebration of your dear granddad's life ! Bon chance

This isn't the brides father, or son, but her grandfather. Sad as it undoubtedly is I think a photo and a candle is a step too far. By all means raise a glass to him at the reception, but let's not go OTT and turn this into a memorial service, which I'm sure he would not want.

It's the couples wedding day FHS.

Not wishing to sound unkind but if the funeral is the same week as the wedding then it's usually in the week, unless your son and his fiancée have a mid week wedding, which is difficult.
Whatever they decide will there decision to make together.

My brother in law's wife's father died six weeks before their wedding. They decided to go ahead as they felt this was what he would have wanted. Both the bride and her mother were very brave and had a happy day notwithstanding. Perhaps it helped that there were not hundreds of guests - just those people who meant most to the immediate family.

This couple have stayed happily married for over 40 years and her mother lives close by and sees them often.

My husband and I have told our 3 children if anything happens to either of us any weddings celebrations have to go ahead as if we were there.

Such sad stories ladies. Made me cry (very emotional at moment). My mum used to say ' always somebody worse off than you'. Hope it all works out well.

My father died three weeks before I was due to be married. I wanted to cancel it, but my mother insisted it go ahead as planned.

We had a wonderful day, although my younger brother had to step up to the plate during the ceremony of being 'given away', and my dad was very much missed.

I think protocol doesn't really come into it, as long as the bride and groom feel it's what they to do.

A sad loss, but a new beginning.

DD was very close to my parents who are both now dead sadly. She is getting married in August and has had a locket sized charm made to go on her bouquet which has a miniature of her grandparents on their wedding day. Very discreet, not mawkish and they will be going with her down the aisle.

My mother died a couple of weeks before the entire family was off to France for our dd's wedding. She was in her late 90s, though, and had been suffering from dementia for ages, so TBH we were all somewhat relieved that it had happened then, and not while we were all away - it would have been awful if none of us could have been with her, not that she seemed at all aware of whether we were or not.

Her death did not cloud the wedding at all - nobody could really be too sad that she'd finally been released from a horrible disease. Obviously these weren't necessarily common circumstances, but I honestly don't think we could have cancelled anyway - it was quite a big do so never mind caterers, etc., a lot of people had booked flights and accommodation, etc. And I'm sure she'd have been the last person to want such an event cancelled on her account. We did of course think of her a lot, and drink various toasts to dear absent Granny.

What would the bride's grandfather say, I wonder, if he could? Most grandfathers would, I'm sure, want it to go ahead, and for the family to think of him, and maybe raise a glass of bubbly to him.