No friends

Yes, I’m in driving distance from Preston pocket4321.just away for a couple of weeks but would love to meet up in July.

I have only one long term friend of 30 odd years but we only see each other about 4 times a year, we do write to each other inbetween though, and when we meet up its like we saw each other yesterday..I have people who i have geled with from the bowls club but i wouldnt say they are 'friends ' in the true sense of the word.My biggest friend is my sister who i see at least twice a week if not more we contact each other daily as well. It doesnt bother me about making new friends because i know a lot of people and when i go to my local town centre i always see someone to chat to so i dont feel lonely at all.But i can understand how someone else could feel very lonely without anyone in their life to call a friend.

Does anyone else have the problem of not being able to hear properly in a group of people.....I have no problems with my hearing radio, television, one to one or even a small group but when there is background music etc or a large group I can’t follow the conversations so am tending to avoid these situations as I find it embarrassing. I have had a hearing test and told to come back in a year or two as I’m not ready for hearing aids.
I am enjoying this thread....I can hear you all ????
I think this problem heightens my feeling of loneliness as I come home feeling very down.

Yes i have to deal with this. I wear a hearing aid in each ear and very often when in a group situation have to turn them both down as i get overloaded with noise from all directions.I find that if i am able to see the person who is speaking face to face then i tend to lip read and i then manage to get the jist of the conversation. I very often take aids out as i enjoy being in my muffled world when at home or alone. I find that the constant noise that they allow me to hear is very draining.I adjust them for one situation but it then is not suitable for another.

Thank you for the reply travelsafar. Did you teach yourself lip reading ?

Dgrann777
Lip reading classes are quite often run.
May I suggest you enquire at suppliers, such as Specsavers or Boots.
You might also ask at your local library or GP surgery, for example.

Dgrann I didnt have any lessons, i guess i have just picked it up as my hearing got worse. Sometimes our bodies compensate when another part is failing.

Thank you so much ....will do

Hello ,I'm new here,Living in Leigh on Sea.Are there any local members who would like to meet up ?
:-)

sorry wrong end of the country for me . Anybody Manchester way?

ebayqueen + oldbatty, it may be a good idea to start your own place named thread, then perhaps other people in your area would find it more easily?

Good luck.

So many of these posting are only children! I too am an only child (of two only children!) and remember being painfully shy as a child, which made making friends very difficult. I had no siblings or cousins to practise my social skills on and lived in a large detached house where neighbours were mainly older people and no children! I do recall that I was sent to nursery school at about 4 but I found other children confusing and illogical ? I wonder if these early starts make friendships harder?
I do have a handful of good friends “collected”? over several years from uni and work and one an old neighbour who taught my children to swim (she ran a swimming school) but as others have said, friendships require working at and give and take.
Also I agree with those that say when moving to a new area throw yourself into all local events and volunteering opportunities (if not working still) it’s the best way to feel a part of the new place as soon as you can. Friendships often develope from these but even if they don’t you will have fun ?

I have a son who I see once a week and couple of friends I see occasion ally. But doesn't give me that close feel
I have lots of aquitances via some volunteering but still feel alone.

I liken it to being in a lonely marriage.

Some like to think I must be OK and I do get to go out but other times I force myself out by myself

Some virtual friends as well but is virtual a substitute?

I belong to our local U3A but only joined one group which meets once a month. Otherwise I've got a dp who lives with me, an adult son who also lives here, and a ds2 who is married with 2 children of his own, living just a few miles away. They call on me for grandparent duties probably three times a week, daytime as well as evening. What with the house, the garden and the dog, I really don't have any spare time. The friends I have got don't live locally. I would like some, but like all newly retired people, I wonder how I ever found time to go to work!

A few years ago I subscribed to the Saga Magazine , and at the back you had a penfriends and partnership page , I found some penfriends that way , and also through the then zone others , magazines depending on what ones you read you can find similar items in them its a pity Age UK do not do a magazine with those things in.
Mick

G'Day Stevie; Similar environment here! Living on my own at home, but I like my own company. Just as well, otherwise life would be hell. fighting all the time
One side-effect of getting "old" is that friends etc tend to fall by the wayside; can't remember how many lawn bowling colleagues I've farewelled.
My next birthday is July 8th (I'll be 91 years young!), so you've a long way to go.
If anyone bothers to ask me how I'd say, "Get some good genes", Get a sense of humour, Get out to computer classes to keep the grey cells churning and meeting like-minded seekers of knowledge!
One down-side will be the dearth of birthday cards on my mantlepiece , especially the "Happy Birthday, Darling xxx" one; not from a Grandad, I might add.
Oh! also, a dog is invaluable for company and keeping sane; my "Jessie" left me not long ago, but it's too late and not fair to get another. I used to talk to her (enjoyable, as she never answered back!) and I still do!
A bit like Jack on "New Tricks" No! I don't think I'm senile yet!
BTW a bottle or 3 of Shiraz also helps!
Good Luck, Steve
Rufus2 OBE

I can sympathise with the original poster. My two closest, long=time friends died, - one six months before I retired from work, and the other six months later. My parents were long dead and my only sibling, a much older brother had died some years before that. My marriage had collapsed many years earlier.
On retirement I threw myself into joining local organisations, doing charity work, etc. etc.
Made loads of aquaintances, but none that I would call 'friends'. Think that friendship is based on many joint memories. This is wha I miss most about my two besties not being around now. There were things they knew about me and my family (and vice versa), that no-one else knew. But I had known them both for many, many years. My best friend I had met when we were both expecting our first child. We shared so many laughs, heart-ache, celebrations, etc. over the forty years we knew each other. For the last couple of years we would have a daily long telephone conversation with each other.
Took me several years to accept that the time of making real friends had passed, I still have one left and have always counted as a friend a sister-in-law, (although she and her hubbie have now moved some distance away). Life can continue quite well without actual close friends.

In so sorry to hear about your loss Franbern. Its hard to say goodbye to friends with whom you've grown so close and shared so much. I don't think anyone can replace them. But yes life can continue quite pleasantly with friends on a different level and we can hold on to precious memories with thanks.

I live in Wiltshire. Have no friends to go out with or meet for a chat. I would love to have some close friends. My marriage has broken down and life is very lonely.

Neleh. I am in a similar position. Retired 2 years ago, had no social life when working. My "friends" then were nothing more than colleagues, but that was OK at the time. Now I feel that I have no friends that I can meet up with, I have joined some groups, table tennis and ukulele, I chat with people at these groups but we are not "friends". I think it is difficult to make friends when you are older. Are there any groups that you could join? However I know only too well that joining a group does not necessarily produce friends, but it will give you some contact with other people.
I wish you well.

Hi lolly69. What part of Cheshire ?

Hi what area of Cheshire Lolly 69?

I do hope those of you who are genuinely wishing to meet new friends have great success. It must be difficult despite knowing there are so many in the same situation. I have always been an all or nothing type of girl. This has resulted in two female life long friends who I don’t see very often and countless aquaintences through work and other areas in life. I don’t count them as friends as I know very little about them apart from meeting up occasionally both socially and work connected. I’m fortunate to have a large close knit family and a DH who is there for me 24/7. He’s always been my best friend in the world and my heartfelt sympathies go out to those who have had and lost that special friendship. I can’t even begin to imagine how I’d feel but if the day comes I only hope I’ll cope and would wish the same for him.

Several years ago, after my divorce, I worked for 8 months, 5 days a week up in Cheshire and shared a house with 3 professional men aged 23, 30 and 37.
Whenever I went back after the weekend, they'd roll out the red carpet, so to speak and be smiley and happy. When I wasn't there, apparently, they didn't speak to each other, cooked at separate times and spent evenings in their own rooms instead of the lovely sitting room, conservatory or garden.
When the job came to an end I got presents, hugs...and a card which left me in tears. One had written, 'The heart has gone out of our home'.
Contrary to what appears to many on here, as my somewhat brusque and critical attitude, my friends and many aquaintances have said that life is never dull when I'm in their company and seems flat when I leave. I'm quite outgoing and will happily go into a pub alone and chat to strangers.
I think you have to try, in small ways, to dip your toe in social waters, stepping deeper on each occasion.
A stranger is a friend you do not yet know.

it would seem that I have lots of close friends on my Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, but it isn't the truth. I have no friends actually. I don't have a significant other. But I'm actually social and outgoing, not introvert. I'm able to make friends quickly. I hate surface relationship, so I choose to be alone.