No friends

I have noticed that, like myself, most of the posts are from only children. I have always been content with my own company but on reading these posts I realise that I would like someone in my life who I could really talk with and share interests, etc. Once I married, had children, worked,etc, I didn't really miss having a close friend. I keep in touch with old school friends but I don't seem to have time to socialise, etc. My husband is in poor health so spend a lot of time with him, I have granny duties which I love and dog walk so my days are filled but think having a close friend (or two) would be a bonus and can really understand how most of the posters feel.

Hi I live in Pinner and am in my 70s.Would love to meet ladies
for tea/coffee/theatre trips.I am not lonely but like to meet
new people.Any ladies out there between Harrow and Watford.
Lets start a new friendship.

Yes, I lost friends along the way. Stuff happens, people move, change, get involved, follow different paths. There shouldn't be any reason to feel embarrassed to say "I've not got a close friend, but would like one". For me, looking after my mum isolated me, and I have other family stuff which doesn't make socialising very possible. Besides which, I have no intention whatsoever of going out all dressed up to dance.
I have too many commitments to be able to volunteer, and I have joined meet up groups. As I said, I was looking after my mum and missed some of the things that had been arranged, then was removed from the groups. Its just life. My self esteem is fine, I'm happy with my own company. I enjoy a laugh and have mostly my own teeth. I just dont have a close friend!

Charleygirl St Albans but am willing to travel.

Cannot believe this post has over 100 comments it's obviously a lot more common than was expected. Let's hope me included, that at least some of us get a chance to maybe get a few that are near to each other and meet up seems such a shame that after all these comments with sooo many in same situation that we don't make something happen.

Tessa whereabouts in Hertfordshire? At the end of a tube line?

Like most of you....all my friends either live abroad, so we have lost touch, and my closest friend died 6 years ago. I worked full time so never really had time to make friends over the years. I moved from London to a small village with my husband, thinking I'm bound to make friends. Yes, I've met lots of people, but none that fit the profile! They are very inward thinking and are not interested in talking about anything other than what so and so down the road has been up to. Tittle tattle definitely not for me! Most of them don't like music! so another no no. I just don't go to the many events here in the village anymore. Instead I work in a charity shop, away from the village, 2 afternoons a week and meet lots of different people and have gone to events with them. I'm happy in my own company as well, so not really a problem for me.

Funny,I was having this conversation with my DD yesterday.My problem is I'm now single and I've got handful of good friends but one is in Colorado, one unfortunately has had a breakdown and now lives in Leicester and both my local friends are in long term relationships. I do get to see my local ones about once a month but I would like someone that I could call up and say do you fancy a day trip or lunch or mooch round garden centre or an evening out.But where do you start I'm very socialable and chat to anyone but it's finding people that have same interests as yourself as I'm young at heart and luckily in fairly good health. I'm in Hertfordshire but my local GN is 50 minute drive away, anyone else in Hertfordshire.?

What happened to your old school/university/work colleagues, old and present neighbours, mums from your child's school, people you met on holiday etc. Did you lose them along the way? However, it's never too late to start again. Friends have to be cultivated, favours done for them, outings, experiences and discussions shared.

Walking the dog is a good place to start,volunteering in charity shops, theatre groups always need people and not just for acting, hearing children read in school, helping at mother and toddler groups in church halls or Brownies, joining clubs or local political parties, ramblers, reading groups, library activities, singles holiday companies and so on.

The list is endless and charities and church groups will never turn your help away (you don't have to be a believer) but no one is going to come knocking on your door begging for your friendship. Be well informed about current affairs/what's popular on tv etc. so you have plenty to talk about. Invite your neighbours round for a cuppa.

Do you smoke? I always cross smokers off my list, I'm afraid, when meeting new people no matter how interesting they are as I can't stand the smell of stale tobacco on their clothes near me. Are you a Moaning Minnie? Think about why you have no friends and set out TOMORROW to change your life and find some!

There is a real difference between close acquaintances and friends.

I have always been a joiner and I have been in several groups for decades, we all know each other well, enjoy lunching on meeting days, one group organises a short coach holiday every spring and we all get on really well, but, but, but....

All our relationship is organised round the group, however easy we all are, with none of them do I have a personal relationship; ask them to my house, have coffee on a one-to-one basis, or would want to confide in.

If anyone is close enough to bluewater and free this thursday 15th come along to waterstones cafe at 11.30 am. All welcome. Plus an opportunity to have a bit if a shop before/after.

The U3A is really great for getting to know new people - our local group has been marvellous for helping people who live alone - widowed, divorced or lifetime singles. I myself have loads and loads of acquaintances because I and DH are involved in lots of organisations locally, but I do not have a really close friend or friends. I don't think I ever have had. This is partly because we moved around a lot when we were first married, and partly because that is just how I am I think. My mum and dad had no close friends at all - just each other. Luckily my mum lived well into her 80's and when she passed away, my dad was not interested in getting to know anyone else. My role models, then, were not conducive to making close friendships! I hope I don't end up confined to the house with no visitors, but I just have to accept myself as I am.

Hi, when we moved to East Kent 15 years ago it was difficult to get to know local people. We are in a cul de sac and neighbours are friendly in passing but we have only managed a little social contact with one couple ( nearly as old as us!) I am. School governor and meet people there, but not to "be friends" . My husband is now disabled which makes things a bit more difficult. Last year I tried to start a local Gransnet group, I managed to get 3 meetings organised. Out of5/6 people contacted, we had 4 at the 1st meeting, 1 at the next! 3 at the next, my car broke down going to the next - but 2 people met. I heard from the Kent representative on email, but she couldn't meet up. I became a bit disheartened at trying to get people together and no one has contacted me since. I may give it another go, but I'm not encouraged by my experience. Luckily I have 3 daughters and a son who keep in touch - What's App, phone calls email and we do meet up occasionally, so I''m counting my blessings as my mum taught me!!

Whether £25 a month seeems expensive or not depends how much "spending money" is left when all the essentials are paid for.

Nanny 27 Rock Choir expensive ??? It cost £25 per month that covers the hire cost of the rehearsing halls and the choir leaders wage I would not say that it is expensive at all.

Gillybob!!!

I must give off an unfriendly sort of vibe

I haven't read the whole thread, so I don't know if anyone else has replied to you.
Having met you several times I can categorically state that the above statement is a load of bollocks quite untrue.
I think your problem is that you have many commitments and being self-employed in a small company makes it very difficult, if not impossible, to make friends in work.
If you weren't so busy we could have more meet-ups!!

The British Red Hatters Society is a great group for the over 50's and they have a sister group The Pink Hatters for those under. They say: Live, Love, Laugh
Or - how to grow old disgracefully...
It sounds like a great way to meet friends if you like going out and don't mind wearing a red hat

I have no friends either. Moving around the country for many years hasn't helped.
I am still working age and get on with people I work with, but there is no after work get togethers.
I find it quite daunting to attend clubs etc on my own, and when i have tried in the past I find that most sit in their cliques and don't want/ allow new people to get involved.

I am single and live on my own with my 16 yr old and it does get very lonely at times not having someone else I can turn to or meet up with.

I think there is an element of pot luck to finding a friend.
As has been said, lots of folk are 'putting themselves out there' which is absolutely the right thing to do. Nobody is going to come knocking asking to be your friend.
You have to find someone you "click" with - You can have people you socialise with, people you have coffee with etc, but there has to be something more, and it can be instant, or a 'slow burn' type of attraction to a real "mates" relationship
This thread is marvellous! Its got out into the open an issue which seems to be rather taboo. thank you very much!

I have just read all the messages above and agree U3A is good also craft clubs. There is a group called, Meet Up, and of course always volunteering. My husband was my best friend and I lost him to cancer. I volunteer, go to groups etc but I think you just have to accept things will never be the same again and get on with life.
I live in West Yorkshire if anyone is near.

Join a local walking group or, if there isn't one, set one up! Often people find it easier to talk when they don't always have to make eye contact and walking is a great way of doing that. Or volunteer with local national trust etc.

Hello I live in Paignton / Torbay.

I am a 66 year old grandma, but I hardly ever see family. I am busy and active; a member of various groups and do plenty of voluntary work, but I'm another who has no female chums to natter with.

If anyone local is feeling lonely, and would like an occasional chat I would be happy to meet up and see how we go from there.

I am thinking it would be good if there was some sort of a page, (by area,) on Gransnet to help people link up this way.

Yes, Some interesting posts on here that I can identify with.
Aged nearly 62 I have lost contact with two friends in the last couple of years.
One has moved her man in, so if we do meet up he has to come along as well.
The other one I met through doing dancing, but her husband and her have recently gone through 're-negotiating' their relationship', so don't see her any more.
Joined meet up about a year ago and the concept is good, but the dining can be costly. Walks and quizzes are good, when I'm not working.
I live in North Wiltshire and currently looking for someone to pal up for a holiday next year.

Greetings Bettyboo! I thought I was so on my own feeling this way and it has opened my eyes that others feel the same. I have always had plenty of acquaintances, work colleagues and receive cards at Christmas from people from way back, but when it comes to having 'best' friends, I have none, and I envy those who go on 'girly' weekends away, fun evenings out, coffee mornings, etc, as I certainly have nobody I could do this with. Most of the ladies I know already have their circles of close friends and I am on the outside. I still work part-time, but as I get closer to total retirement I do have worries about how I will spend my time for fun, with ladies of my own age and interests. In the past I have been a member of WI, and I like the idea of U3A, as suggested by others. I have a DH, but sometimes it's just someone of my own age/sex to have a good laugh with and interests to share. In some ways, I feel better that others experience a similar problem, but hopefully we will all find some way of feeling less isolated on the friends front.

What about Gransnet Local - wouldn't that be a helpful resource to make local friends? You could post local meet ups and take it from there?