Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

OK, found the key (don't ask where, but don't know how Roses was able to sit down comfortably) and I'm locking you lot in for the night.

Bo you're in charge!

roses
anything good down there?
don't bump yer head.

If that was aimed at me merlot you should be ashamed. if wasn't then it's just plain disgusting.

How old are you by the way? 14?

Gross.

ffs its a limerick
a fairly old one at that

Aimed at you, gilly?

Are you kidding?

mimiro said it was time for filthy limericks.

wouldnt be a proper pub without filthy limericks.or so my uncle from glasgow says.....

My Scottish auntie and indeed uncle would just say "Coorse " ?

Is this an extension of Soop's Kitchen?

Clearly I'm in the wrong place.

It was a FUCKING JOKE.

auntie composes new ones
uncle performs new and old
they own the pub
so they have a captive audience.
never saw anyone get up and leave after a rowdy rendition of barnicle bill.

anyas limerick was quite nice too .

How about a sing along? Everybody remember this one?

King of the Road

Right! I'm away home - I think. Only 3 miles across fields. 'There's an old mill by the stream, Nelly Dean'.......See you tomorrow night folks. It's a Saturday night...game of dominoes anyone?

Thank you all, I haven't laughed so much for ages.

Definitely NOT an extension of Soop's Kitchen. WTF was that all about Gilly - Argy-Barry or too much ?

Bo what've you done with the bleeding key? I came in to clean up and had to get in through an open window to find WilmaKnichersfot & mimiro snoring in the snug and the place a total shambles.

GREAT! Not a teapot or biscuit in sight, but plenty of empties and the place smelling like Chewbacca's socks, which incidentally were draped artistically across Wilma's & miro's heads. Do you want them back Chew...only I used them to mop up the spills?

I've left the aforementioned window open to let out the smells and because it's the only way in until Bo finds the key. Hope you're all fit enough to sling your legs over the sill?

Do we have special " turns" on Saturday night as we used to in the days of my youth?
Specialities included Joseph Locke impressionists when you had to take a clean white hanky to wave when he sang " Goodbye Goodbye, I wish you all a last Goodbye" nearly giving himself a hernia reaching the high notes and often included someone's Uncle Joe who would give us a rendering on the dessert spoons he just happened to have in his weskit pocket.
Oh , of course we don't , they were working men's clubs, we are all "laydees" here.
Who is that sniggering?
I volunteer to open up and get the barrels tapped and ready.

I'll take you up on that offer Ann60 ...I've washed the glasses that survived last night and rinsed out Chew's socks and they're hanging in the Ladies over one of the doors to dry out. If you could dry the glasses too perhaps? You'll find one fits perfectly inside a wine glass but you'll need both to polish the pint pots.

Are Wilma & mimo still there?

I've booked Wee Willy and his ballooons for tonight - all I could get at short notice. ?

Anya I thought you'd be presiding over a Salon not saloon!

Everyone's far too drunk for argy-bargy

Just had a message from Lil Ana she said her ears where burning ..I didnt ask! Knowing Lil...she is alive and well in as she calls it Buggering Bognor...she also is considering opening another bar, names suggested so far...The Knocking Shop..not for reasons you might think but to be a member you knock twice and ask for Lil, there would be no sightings of Red Bush or eccles cakes but something equally as tasty ....another name she suggested was Lils Legs, but did suggest that may cause problems when asking about opening times.....(nellie is still live and kicking) she did suggest naming a drink in Petes honour...

...shall we

I've been off the scene for a few months and come back to GN to find a group of wild drinking women led by my pal Anya what a turn up for the books.

I visited a Gin Distillery this week and learned enough about the process to offer my services to start the GN Distillery for Alcoholic Delights. What do you think ?

I don't think some of you have quite got the point of the ABC

The Archbishop of Canterbury - he was here?

Sorry Anya touting on your patch not good form....will bugger off and start our own??

Anya do you have a dress code for the ABC....

Key Anya? It must have fallen out of my knickers when I climbed out of the window to go home this morning

Havent read the whole thread - excellent addition tho, the Argy Bargy sounds like my sorta place - but not wine PUHLEASE. Where is the beer? As for the peanuts at the beginning of the thread, if nobody has yet snaffled them, pass em over my way!

Thanks for the sock rescue Anya, very kind I must say, but you needn't have bothered washing them. They were my late uncle Walters and he had them as army issue in the war. Wore them every day, he did; for over 40 years, and he never washed 'em. I've worn 'em since in his memory. <sniff> <sniff>
Is it too early for a pint of Ruddles and a pickled egg for breakfast?

Dress a Code? Yer what? Anything goes except twin sets and pearls, but we'd prefer that 'Ladee' guests in dresss do wear knickers, especially when climbing in through the window.

There is a vacant knocking shop ex-massage parlour available above the Cafe (NB Cafe not Café) should any enterprising GNetter wish to open a gaming parlour reading room, debating society or similar. Would that suit your purpose Downtoearth? But on the other hand it might be the perfect place for NanKate's Gin Palace Distillary. Sadly we can't have both as the top storey is rented out to a horticulturist. I passed him on the stairs earlier and asked him if he had a spare key we could copy, but he just waved vaguely and said 'Hey Man' as he left a stangely sweet odour behind him.

Chew we were hoping you'd donate the socks but understand their sentimental value.