Counting my blessings

The whole business of wanting a boy or a girl makes no sense to me. Having had 3 healthy girls I certainly do count my blessings; and got quite cross with those who commiserated with me on the birth of a third girl - actually cross is not the word - I was quite rude on one occasion!

I am sorry to hear that your little GS has such serious health problems and hope all will be well for him.

I think most of us hope for a mixed family and the same with grandchildren.

I have counted my blessings as a grandmother ever since DGD's birth. When DGD was a few months old I accompanied DDiL, with DGD, when she went to view the house they now own. We were shown round by the female householder,she had been a nursery nurse and worked with little children all her life, but told us, towards the end of the viewing, with visible emotion, that both her DSs and wives had decided not to have children.

My sympathies were all with her, DS and wife had married quite late and wanted children but we knew that, at nearly 40, DDiL's chances of conceiving were reducing almost by the day, so the possibility of not being a grandparent had been faced and dealt with. The arrival of DGD and, later, her little brother, have always been seen as wonderful blessing and bonus.

I do hope things improve for your latest grandson 2old4hotpants.

I think it takes something like your experience to make us count our blessings as we are all so busy getting on with our lives to stop and think.

Not in the same league at all, but a friend's DH died last week, while they were away in their campervan, of a massive heart attack. He was only 71. It's certainly pulled me up short when I heard.

Read this with interest I have three sons and would of loved a daughter. I now gave mixed grandchildren and do count my blessings. My husbands workmate went on holiday sane time as us we got back to the news his fabulous holiday which he'd worked seven days a week for he'd died three days into it heart attack only 62 never even got to retire! Makes me think live for the day as my dear dad used to say .

I have 4 grandsons & probably no more but I've never felt the pull of a granddaughter, although I did for a daughter and luckily my 3rd was a girl but she's no girly girl.

I'm sure you will come to terms with it

Thinking very warmly of your DGS and hope things go well with him.

My Mum used to say "they bring love with them" and don't they just? Once your DC and DGC are here, it's not possible to imagine life without them regardless of what sex they are. We just love ours for the person they each have grown into and are hugely grateful for them all.

Hope your Grandson gets well. I have 2 Grandsons and I am very happy.

I had three lovely girls and though there was a twinge of sadness at missing out on a son, I now have three SiLs and four grandchildren, two of each sex. I hope the OP's much loved last grandson pulls through and gets progressively better. Thanks for sharing the insight.

I have two DGS and expecting a third grandchild. Already people are asking if I am hoping for a girl this time. I tell them I am hoping for a healthy baby and uncomplicated birth for my daughter-in-law.

I was blessed with a boy and two girls, but had a friend who was obsessed by having a girl,did special diets etc that were in vogue then, but it was not to be - 3 healthy and successful sons, and she now has two lovely GDs. I have one DGD with twins due any day now - in the last 9 months or so there have been 3 very difficult and painful twin birth situations amongst friends/acquaintances so I will just be glad of two healthy babies, whether boys or girls. Thinking of your little DGS and hoping things turn out for the best 2old4hotpants
I agree we should accept what we are given and love them all.

My daughter was an older mum, having her first child in 2013 - my DGS - at 38 years old. She and her partner have decided that he'll be a 'one and only' because she's in a high stress job and because she just doesn't think she could cope with another child. My son has Aspergers Syndrome and it seems unlikely that he'll marry and have children.

So my DGS will be a 'one and only' for my husband and I too.

The delight we take in our beautiful boy is immeasurable, he's brought so much joy to our lives. Be thankful for your five grandchildren whatever their gender. I hope your grandson's health issues will be solved or lessened and he grows up to live as full and happy a life as my DGS does. Longing for the impossible will eat away at you. Concentrate on the new baby's health & well being and find joy in the grandsons you have.

I wish you well.

Hello '2 old 4 hot pants '
What a revelation for you to realise that nothing matters only that we die before our kids and certainly our grandkids.. I remember the look on my sisters face when her fourth son was born .... incredible disappointment and then of course joy. But more so I remember the look on her face standing at his graveside 25 years later.... that look is still there sometimes... and it wrenches my heart.She did have her daughter..... but that look haunts me still. Enjoy those lovely, energetic, complicated grandsons of yours , hold firmly to the last one...he needs ALL his family. Good luck.

I hope things improve for that little one.

Blessing come as they are and not as we might wish them.

Luckygirl. How I sympathise with you.On my side of the family girls outnumber boys consequently when expecting my second child, first was a girl, relatives had boys names lined up. I was made to feel I had let them down when my second child was a girl. I know my own mother had wanted me to be a boy ,tough, she got me.
To make matters worse my MIL's 'best' ??? friend sent me a congratulations card and wrote 'better luck next time'

I really loathe people ' commiserating' when someone has a subsequent baby of the same sex.
I have two girls and we were both entirely happy. Dh actually bought me a lovely ring right after no. 2, since I'd never had an engagement ring.
However a neighbour (from a very much 'boys are best' culture) took one look at my ring and said, 'You got that for a GIRL?'

A niece of Dh's has just had baby girl no. 2 and I will be sending a card full of very sincerely meant congratulations!

I have four sons and five grandsons so far from three of them , who I love dearly . It would be great to have a grand daughter but I am only happy that the boys are all happy and healthy. She would probably be a tom boy anyway so not much difference.

People used to say to me when I was expecting my fourth "baby" -( you weren't able to know the sex in those days) - " I suppose you will be wanting a girl " but I used to say "no - just a healthy baby"
Best wishes for your little grandsons future health.

I have 4 beautiful grandsons who I love dearly. When my youngest daughter was pregnant, we all jokingly were saying how it would be lovely to have a granddaughter to break the pattern, as there is not many girls in the family on a whole. None of the family would have been unhappy if another boy had joined us, but we did have our little Bella-Grace arrive 18mths ago. The boys all love her, she finds its funny to run away with their football. The point is that we have no say in which little bundle arrives, we will always love them. If they are happy and healthy that is all that matters. I hope all goes well for your little one.

Thank you 2Old4hotpants for sharing your experience and not needing advice - what a wonderful site this is for expressing our feelings, painful and joyous. A thread I was reading the other day brought tears to my eyes in the midst of all the terrible national news in recent weeks and reminded me of all the wonderful people out there with their endless wisdom and experience. "Grans rule the world"!! I do hope your baby grandson will grow stronger and healthier with each passing day and you can remain strong to support your daughter at this difficult time.

Sorry to hear about your grandon's difficulties, 2Old4hotpants - you're right, it puts a lot of things into perspective when something like that happens.

Having had 2 sons, I was keen for my first grandchild to be a granddaughter, but once my grandson arrived I was besotted with him!

2old4hotpants
Sending all good wishes that your DGS's health improves by the day!
DH and I have one child by choice, and although I was desperate for a daughter, I knew all through my pregnancy that I would get a boy!
When he was born and they said "you have a son" I wasn't in the least surprised, and was slightly disappointed for all of a millisecond! As soon as I looked into his eyes, that was it, I wouldn't have changed my boy for every girl on earth!
When DDiL was pregnant I was certain she was having a boy, and was proved right, we have a gorgeous DGS! However, if DDiL had given birth to a girl, I'd have been surprised but equally thrilled, all I ever wanted was for a healthy, happy Grandchild!

I remember being in hospital with my second son (sex wished for but unknown in tnose days). Cannot tell you how many people did the oohs and aahs but, when I was asked if I had any other children, the revelation regularly generated a response of sympathy or the actual 'shame'. Feel slightly guilty when I say I NEVER wanted girls. Don't know why........ Had a lovely upbringing and delightful relationship with my Mother. I now have two lovely granddaughters and feel totally blessed. Downside is with families being started later these days is that I didn't move into this emancipated state until I was 73. However, I'm doing my best in the activity field. Whew.......

I have 2 DDs who went on to have 3 daughters between them so no boys in our family. No regrets tho very happy with my lot. Sending warm wishes for your family and hope your dgs gets well.

Sitting here feeling so emotional for 2oldforhotpants and her post, but then Heather 23 has expressed so well all that I wanted to say. Prayers for your little grandson, and {{hugs}} to you and all your family. They are so precious.