So. . . . .would you be brave enough to end it all? And if so, how?

I've also come across, as a carer, a lady who wouldn't allow her husband to join in any of the activities which were organised in the nursing home. They had, she said, had many a discussion about the horrors of being plonked in a wheelchair, wearing a paper hat, and singing along to old time music. They had both said it was the worst thing they could think of.
One time the wife came in to visit, and found her husband doing just that - and really enjoying it. She insisted he was taken back to his room..

That's interesting MissAdventure. My father was full of bluster about putting him in a home / ending his life for him if he needed 'too much looking after' in later life, but once there, he just wanted to live as much as he could and die in his own home... It enriched us all to take care of him. The saddest thing is I think people are fearful about being left alone to cope and don't feel able to 'put upon' their families in old age. Families can also be very fractured and dispersed in modern life. And we do not view death as 'part of life' - culturally we seem to have lost the link of respect and care for older family members.

Its a knotty problem. If your mind is going, then your idea of quality will inevitably change.
I watched a documentary a while back about a man with 'locked in' syndrome, after a terrible crash on his motorbike
He had always been a free spirit, a bit of a rebel, loved to take off and do his own thing. In discussions with his family he had made it very clear that the worst possible thing for him would be to end up as he did. He would want to be allowed to die.
However, as his family fought to honour his wishes, staff at the hospital found that he could communicate. They would ask him questions and he was able to indicate 'yes' or 'no' by flickering his eyes. Over the weeks, they tried different questions in different formats. "You love soap operas don't you?" A definite "no!" response, and so on
Eventually they raised the question about whether he still wanted to be allowed to die, and his response was very much that he wanted to live.

I think most of here want quality not quantity don't we?

I couldn't kill myself because I was brought up believing that God gives life and it's a sin to do so. I'm not afraid of dying and just hope for so much morphine at the end that I won't know anything about it.
Aside from my personal beliefs I'm sure that the laws on euthanasia will be rapidly eroded as more and more people live into unhealthy demented old age. They'll soon be bumping off everyone at 75, a year after what will be retirement age by then.

In his younger years, my father always used to say that if he got a life debilitating illness we should ' take him out and shoot him' and words along those lines. In the event he died from lung cancer, at home, with family support, surrounded by love. He was gracious in his death and pain control / relief was managed well.
My father, like so many, did not want to be a 'burden'. In his illness, being involved in his care opened up new aspects of trust and love and sharing in the family. I know this is not always so and seeing loved ones suffer and not knowing who their family are is terribly distressing, but I just wanted to point out that it doesn't always have to be bleak and completely negative.

Bluebelle, I would never want any of my family to have to nurse me, and they are well aware of that. Whether they might be willing is another matter, but if I had the means to avoid being dependent on anyone, I hope I would use it.

I don't ever want to be a burden on anybody, nor do I want to cause extra expense to the NHS. Having seen so much of care homes over the last 20 years, I think far too many people are kept alive for far too long, just because it's now possible to do so - stuffed with medication and in and out of hospital - when it might often be a lot kinder to let Nature take its course.
Should stress that I am not talking here about anyone still enjoying a reasonable quality of life.
Though this is a separate issue, I know.

I dont think I could say, unless the time came and I was actually facing my own demise. The will to live is very strong, I think, and if dementia or something crept up on me I may not know that I was living beyond what I had deemed reasonable in my more lucid years.

Espee I m not sure what I wrote that made you think I was talking about depression I wasn't I was referring to our end of life plans like everyone else on here

The problem is MOnica you may just vomit that lot up. Maybe take them more gradually, along with the liquid refreshment of your choice!

My choice would be Switzerland but as I would have mega difficulties getting on a plane today, sadly that one is out. I also do not like spirits.

No idea whether I would choose to end my life faced with something dreadful.Wait and see is my feeling

However my chosen way out would be a 50 aspirin washed down by a bottle of whisky or gin.

I've set up my Power of Attourney with very specific instructions that If I am incapable of expressing my wishes I am not to be given any life sustaining treatment, only pain relief. Legally it's the best I can do at the moment.
It's quite hard to think of a way to go that wouldn't involve unpleasantness for someone else who had to deal with it.

With what I've seen this week? In answer to the OP 'yes, definitely!'

How is another matter, but the right sleeping tablets with alcohol is the answer.

Those left behind may be sad but will understand if you've explained beforehand.

I don't think this discussion is about ending ones life through depression BlueBelle. It is about taking control before the end to prevent either pain or loss of dignity. With a terminal illness wouldn't it be a positive thing to know when you have had enough and say farewell without subjecting ones family to more trauma? Then there is the gradual slide into dementia. I have told everyone including my doctor that I do not want my life to end with me a vegetable or in pain and unable to take care of my basic needs. They know that when they hear I have taken my life to be pleased I have done exactly what I needed to do. Death is nothing to fear. Living death is a totally different thing.

Annsixty that is a total misconception having nursed both a mum and a nan with dementia you are rarely sitting in a happy deluded state most people with dementia are frustrated, unhappy, at times furious with the confusion, seeing innocent things as something to be frightened of, out of control, restless, searching for a dead husband/ mother/father it's a living nightmare

Witzend would witnessing your suicide be any less damaging for the family I would have rather nursed my mum /Nan however difficult it was than seen them commit suicide my mind would never have given me a minutes peace thinking of them so unhappy they had to plan their own death

Annsixty, dementia often does not = being happy with your life. Frequently it means anxiety, fretdulness and endless confusion. . And not uncommonly anger with those closest to you.
Having seen so much of it, my greatest fear is dementia, because even if I had a stash of pills hidden away I would very likely have forgotten where I'd put them, or that I had them at all, let alone what I'd planned to do with them. Past the very early stages I I would also very likely be unaware that there was anything wrong with me.

Dementia aside, I hope I'd have the guts to put an end to any horrible terminal illness before it became very harrowing for my family to witness.

Lyndylou hypothermia is my plan too. If you drink alcohol it helps the process along. I don't plan to do it though whilst my DH and Mum are still alive. I couldn't do that to them.

I do wish it was acceptable just say when I want to go. I will tell my family and friends of my intentions and hope they can forgive me.

I am more afraid of dependency and lack of dignity than death. Would I bring about my own end? The honest answer is I don't know.

Can you still gas yourself? You don't hear of it much any more, so maybe they have changed the gas to make it less poisonous? Used to always be hearing about people found with heads in the gas oven. Failing that, exhaust fumes (car running in the garage). I may be wrong, but it has always seemed to me the least painful way to go - I imagine drifting away. Whether I would have the courage to do it however is another matter. Like others I am more frightened of ending in a state where I can't look after myself than of dying.

I wouldn't end it ,I've known people who committed suicide and seen the people left behind ,distressed ,traumatised and guilty.My will stipulates a DNR if I become so ill I would need 24 hour care or live in a vegetative state .My children both know what I want and my husbands will mirrors mine but I would hate to think of the hurt suicide would cause

annsixty My mum didn't seem happy in her life when she had dementia. At one point she got very obsessed with her relationship with her mother who she felt had not loved her. Even after that phrase passed she was often seemed stressed and unhappy but couldn't tell us why.

The idea of spending my last years dribbling and probably, reliving my first crap marriage, scares the life out of me. Once I can't recognise my present partner, my children or my grandchildren I would want to be gone. It's being alert enough to recognise the right time to go that is the difficulty.

our very old, very sick dog looked at me and if he could have spoken it was clear he was telling me he'd had enough. when I told a couple of close friends how kind, gentle and sensitive the vet had been with the dog and with us, they suggested I book the vet now, for when we need that kind of service ourselves. I accept that for some, human life is to be preserved no matter what. It's an irony though, that we'd be prosecuted for allowing an animal to suffer in the way some people do.
has anyone had a "do not recussitate " note put on their medical records? This is something I'm considering. I don't know if I'd have the strength to commit suicide because of its impact on my loved ones. I'd like to die at home at a time of my choosing, with my family there. I accept that's so unlikely that I'm most likely going to accept what life brings me

If you had Dementia I doubt you would know and you would be happy in your life as know it.

If I get dementia I hope I would have the courage to end it all. I have told my DS not to visit me if I don't know who he is anymore and I am sitting there with a vacant look on my face.

Sadly I think I would chicken out though.

I rarely used to think about death in my 60s but now I am 70 I am full thoughts about illness, death, bereavement etc. I used to be such a happy positive person. I need a good kick up the b*m to get me out of this malaise.

That's what I thought about "messing about" with plants too! To be fair, said friend did say she would take "something else" too!
I just want to suffer myself or make my family super either. . . . Mmm. . . . The vets, good idea! Lol!