Can you be born unhappy?

I did the test and I am Consul - people in high school that were cheer leaders and very popular. Not true then at ALL but through many years of learning and experience I have changed.

I was born ass backwards (breech) and on Friday 13th. People say that explains it all

Kittylester is right: pessimism and optimism are recognised personality traits and are thought to be inborn.

Totally disagree with the expert you were listening to gillybob
I had a very happy,secure childhood and was loved and wanted.I suffered periods of blackness for no reason at all and having been treated for depression for most of my adult life,realise that it was clinical depression even then.There was mental illness in my mother's side of the family so I do think there is a strong genetic link.
I am a Mediator and the description given does fit me very well.

Everyone is born with their own personalities and as they grow are influenced by their upbringing and outside influences, and events that alter the course of their lives. Read the children's rhyme Mondays Child etc....although it is a simple little poem it has a certain insight into childhood characteristics.

It was absolutely serious Teddy123 I really, honestly don't have any (real life) friends. Its just the way it is.

I do have a sister but she has her own (large) group of friends and a very good social life. I could probably tag along if I wanted to but I would feel like a fish out of water.

I did have a couple of friends in the past but I probably bored them rigid. Then with family commitments,work and situations out of my control I very rarely saw them. Tbh it got to the point where I started to think I was only ever invited along to make them feel good about themselves so I started cancelling meetings and then we gradually lost touch. I find it very hard to socialise and have pretty much worked alone for over 25 years so never had any work friends/acquaintances.

All my own doing you see.

Not sure if it's the same thing, but I once read that some people are born young and some people born old, they were citing the difference between the old Queen Mother being born young and Prince Charles being born old. I think they were right.

I believe your character is far more to do with nature than nurture unless your childhood has been very exceptional in some way.

I had a very difficult childhood but who can say whether that is responsible for my shyness and lack of self confidence. Sometimes I am very up, and antidepressants keep me from spiralling too low. I am both pessimistic and optimistic, I may be 71 but I put it down to hormones, therefore nature?

Is there a difference between being depressive and being depressed? or are they the same thing?

I am 55 and my hormones are a mess OOmamOO so there could be a link.

I think blueberry summed it up, gilly - a depressive suffers lifelong bouts of depression, whereas being depressed can be a one-off..

Thank you devongirl so in that case can someone be depressive because of circumstances? (I am trying hopelessly to analyse myself). Surely not.

My gd always feels like that. I think t goes back to the womb to be honest.
Her mother, drank and smoked, wicked temper and a thorougherly nasty evil person.
My gd has mental health issues anixity attacks, panic attacks, over thinks.
We have a special guardianship because she lives with us
Her mother isn't my d. She was my late sons partner.

Hope you weren't born on a Wednesday! "Wednesday's child is full of woe".... I can't see how a child can be born unhappy unless the actual birth was traumatic! I can't remember ever being really unhappy when I was little and I certainly can't remember anything when I was a tiny baby...so, no I don't go with this theory...expert or not, their not always right! A lot I suppose has to do with the nurturing of a child following birth, and the bonding bit.

No gilly, I think it's the other way around - you're depressive by nature, whereas circumstances can trigger a period of depression. (I think - I'm a depressive myself, having been hospitalised for 3 months at one point, but thank God been fine for the last many years). Good luck

Yes of course devongirl sorry. I knew what I meant but got it the wrong way around.

So glad you are feeling so much better now.

I've never been truly happy and have been on
Anti depressants a few times. My daughter was never happy and was diagnosed with depression in late teens and has been on medication since. I'm convinced there is a genetic link .

I agree, ellie. My DDs father is also a depressive, I'm afraid she has a very unfortunate genetic heritage and also sufferes from depression (as well as other things). I feel guilty that I didn't think about that when thinking about having a child. I've always thought of myself as ugly and was so obsessed with worry about passing that on, that I forgot about the depression.

I had a very happy, secure childhood, and have never had depressive moods or anything like that. I think I'm just naturally not a very ebullient type. (Misery guts!)

My sister and I are polar opposites. We were brought up exactly the same but I have always been optimistic and positive but she is totally negative . She is jealous of everyone and everything and is always miserable. She has had quite a privileged life whereas i have always struggled but she will never be satisfied. Having read this thread I really think that she was born unhappy.

Yes I believe you can be born with a brain that is biased towards pessimism and one that has fewer "wires" to the pleasure areas of the brain, as well as chemical differences. Brains are adaptable to a certain degree so that if things always turn out well for that child the wiring could be remapped to some extent, but just like dyslexics, you can't always reverse everything otherwise a dyslexic could overcome dyslexia just by reading a lot!

Yes we have basic personalities. Some researchers think our gut influences us. So a better diet may help and exercise.
Having said that I have just eaten chocolates and am slumped in front of the television.

Bet you feel better though!

OOmamOO I agree with what you wrote. Even now at 80 I feel younger than some middle aged people.

I was born on a Wednesday....total rubbish about being full of woe! It's all to do with upbringing and the people you surrround yourselves with. I have a big family and we are always getting together and having a really good laugh. I would say we are all well educated with good humour and a keen wit....that counts for a lot. I do think pessimism and anxiety are to do with upbringing. Having an anxious and miserable childhood must affect your general outlook on life.

I think people can be born unlucky, and that can make them unhappy.
I have nothing to smile about at the moment, but when I think back I cannot truly think of a time when I have felt happy and secure and not worried about money, or other issues. I will not go into it all here, but suffice it to say it includes a dead child, a marriage to a conman, and finding the love of my life, only for him to be seriously ill and then develop dementia.
At the moment I have £26 in my purse and £177 in the bank and cheques to the value of £200 to go out - now that is money worries !
It's what life throws at so many of us.
As my youngest son says when something goes wrong for him

" it's all your fault Mum!" and when I ask why he says " Because you have nothing but bad luck and I am your son" Ha ha ha