oh Gillybob, I can really identify with you,
I know just what you mean about having things to be grateful for but that 'this is something different'
I think I was a very happy child, kind mum & dad, It was when I became the fully fledged mature adult that the sinking negative feelings set in...like a black cloud that comes out of nowhere, & for no particular reason, Yes., it is hard to find things to be overjoyed about.
I also understand about having no friends, I too lost touch with friends of days gone by, now at 55 care for dad by visiting him a few days a week, and wait on hubby hand and foot..(my own doing partly)and although I adore and have a wonderful daughter, son ,daughter-in-law and gorgeous granddaughter, I often feel alone...maybe because I'm an only child ?, I don't know. often feel sad when I see others my age with their sisters etc, in a coffee shop , or out shopping, and dearly wish I had one to go out with!! perhaps that's partly a reason for my not being 'truly happy' they say we have a choice to be happy or unhappy, I'm trying to make the choice to be happy...I really am! but easier said than done!, xx