Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

You are so welcome. Charleygirl. You willl find it a little bit rougher here than Soops's, but we are not a bad lot. We do look after each other, despite all the banter.
I'll be back later.

Marydoll I am refiiined ore should it be refained? Time is a problem, I spend too much time on GN as it is!

My dry sense of humour is not a hit with many!

Welcome Charley , we do sell fancy coffee too but no one has ever asked before but I will brush off the jar of Aldis finest coffee and might even get some fresh milk in for you. Careful of the brownies though, they seem to make all the Argies a bit happy, can't work it out tbh!

Dry sense of humour is a must

Hello Charleygirl, I dipped my toe in the Argy only a couple of days ago myself. Your dry sense of humour will be essential in this flea pit establishment.
Welcome, pray join me in a Drambuie Shandy, I'm also very refayned like wot you are.
Just watch your step with that DairyMol, she's stopped her medication and is off her rocker very emotional just now.

A couple of your finest Drambuie Shandies dear Meno!
CharleyG is joining me in a sniffer soon get her off those namby-pamby coffees
And how fetching you're looking this a.m meno in your polka dot leggings and furry boob tube.

Where oh where can I buy those fetching knickers? I am sure that a few pairs laid on top on the loft insulation would give me a cosier house. I think even for my ample rear they are a tad too large.

If you do not mind I will stay with coffee- I do drink wine but only with a meal. I never drink spirits.

Coffee it is CharleyG! I'll just stick with my usual Drambuie, I take it only for medicinal reasons of course.
The stylish knickers are off Chewys new fancy man (he's a right looker) who has a famous Versace knockoff stall on Wigan market.
I'll see if she can manage to carry a few samples to the Argy if you're in later.
Anyhow, chin chin!!

Did those flashy knickers fall off a juggernaut? Any going spare will double up as a duvet cover. I prefer bottle green. Should I have the misfortune to fall arse over thingy I shall blend in with grass. Flashing one's knickers in public is soooooooo common. I was drug up in the days when laydees knew how to behave.
Anybody seen Fag Ash Lil lately? She had a thing for the guy who stocked up the bar. Last seen disappearing into the cellar whispering sweet nothin's

Blimey soop I hasn’t taken you long to get down and dirty with this lot
!! ?????

Anyone seen Ana lately?

Hi Charley and welcome. Just a word in your pearl-like, especially if you’re venturing into soops kitchen later...I’d have a bath or shower first in something strongly carbolic. You don’t want to introduce any nasties thar might latch on to the pussies. I know soop is very fond of her cats.

Anya Any visitors to our upmarket kitchen will find a antiseptic hand wash and disposable towels just inside the entrance. And, as my late mother used to say (whenever I came home from wherever) "take your shoes off and don't dirty the bathroom". As I've already said - I was drug up proper like.

soopis not the only one fond of cats- I love my Tara although she is little more than a lodger, coming and going as she fancies- a bit like you lot here really.

The difference is that I know that Tara does not get up to any shenanigans whereas from the little I have seen here, we are definitely more up market in soop's kitchen. I also was brung up proper and sometimes remember my Ps &Qs.

Yes, we do come and go as the fancy takes us Charley and we also have a little drinky poos as the fancy takes us, and we also take anything we fancy, especially men.?

I have had a baking day today, must rush off now, but have left a large tray of sausage rolls on the bar, keep all camels, dogs, ferrets and fleas away from them please!

Nice to see some new faces in The Argy, and we do sell and for those of a nervous disposition who can’t face strong spirits ( wimps!)

Now that the clientele is more upmarket, will we not be having the pole dancing competition tonight? Or the "who can sit down with a ferret up the trouser leg" competition? Please don't tell me the tarts and vicars nights are off?

Nothing will be cancelled, in fact it is our roistering activities that have brought new customers here.We should maybe ramp it up a bit?
Beer drinking/ pickled egg eating competitions
Guess who’s knickers nights
Karaoke nights,
Wet t shirt competitions ( for the men only)?
Whaddya think?

Chewbacca Upmarket clientele are often known to dance up the pole...getting down again can be a less than graceful. As for ferrets, bring 'em on. I doubt that my husband, MacSporran will enter the competition. He's rather shy. Sorry I can't join in the tarts and vicars shenanigans, all the decent vicars are on vacation. When it comes to vicars I'm well choosy.
Need to dash. Unnecessary stuff to do before I cast off my living bra and curl up in my winceyette jamas. Boy, do I know how to have a good time.

lemongrove Some good ideas there. Make a list. Put it to a vote. It's called democracy

Not too keen on my keks being flown from the flag pole with the slogan "IF YOU CAN FILL THESE YOU'LL BE ABLE TO EAT OUR ALL DAY BREAKFAST", scrawled on 'em. The Rev got those for me off his market stall in uptown Wigan. They're a one-off, they are.

If you get me a pair of those knickers Chewy, I'm up for the Pole Dancing competition with a ferret up each knicker leg.
It's Friday night!!!
Have you sorted out what you're screeching singing for us later?

Oooo, pickled eggs! I'm in.

Talking of eggs, how is Eglantine? Have her friction burns eased?

Soooop so welcome, what do your kitchen buddies think of you coming over to the dark side? We are a harmless lot, we just talk a good story! Anyway I have arrived and have made another wicked punch so if you want to take a chance, you are most welcome

Definitely an upturn in the atmosphere here - is it us newcomers or a new air freshener? Do those knickers come in pink? Two pairs please - one to wash and one to wear as my old nan would say. Should be able to fill them after a week or two of Guinness and cake - soon put back the weight we have lost girls.