Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

As long as you supply some extra strong cheese and onion crisps, I'm in.?

Forgot to say...I have hated pickled onions ever since I was seasick on a North sea ferry over forty years ago, after eating a bag of pickled onions crisps. Sorry, too much information.?

Ok it's too late now as I'm just closing cos had busy day but meet here tomorrow night for a cheese and onion crisp eating competition

Oh ok Mary will change for something that doesn't make you spew, I'm not that mean especially as I'd have to clear it up, btw I don't offend easily!

Are we taking bets? I've got a hat like John McCirrick's that I could wear. Or, better still, how about I invite the man himself?

?Sweet dreams everyone

I think he died some time ago Chewy
Apologies for the bunion plaster debacle. ......but my feet did need a good soak after all the traipsing around the shops.
A large latte this morning please and a double brandy on the side, to get over the shock of the new GN lay out on here!

Whatever you do folks......do NOT tell Chewy your secrets!! she promised not to tell about Marydolls wig, Anya's merkin and my false teeth and heavily padded bra ( ahem! ) but she did tell.

Thanks goodness she doesn't know about my surgical appliances.

Did I embalm J McC I can't remember. Even MIL (aged 102) is not as daft as us. Hair in the ice, bunion plasters, not to mention teeth and bunion plasters this joint is slipping. That Gasket off yours was up at "Dirty Nelly's" pub last night . Out on the tiles with that trolope of a cat who lives there. She doesn't know how to keep her knees together. Mind you, that MENAPAWS is quite some girl when she is down in the cellar with her mop and bucket. Just a pity the language is so colourful. It turned poor old Gerald's fur white.

So, now we have a snowy ferret do we? Poor little Gherkin.
The GN lay out is fine now I am used to it ( something to do with the Browser.) Am not a techie.
Some lunch please barkeep ( Liase are you on bar duty?) A triple whisky and hold the water! Which is more than I can do.....just off to the loo, back in a min.

Several hours later...

Yes, well.......it was a long wee!

Actually...I cannot tell a fib, I fell asleep in there.

Fell asleep with whom?

I've got some wonderful news for you all! Geraldo isn't a Geraldo afterall! Following on from his night on the tiles at Dirty Nellie's, it seems that he's a Geraldine! And guess what? That's right! There will soon be the pattern of dozens of little pink scabby feet! Awwwww!

More mouths to feed. Bar stocks are getting low. I am scraping the barrel but have managed to cobble together all the dregs and have made a tasty mixture, a cocktail of the day called "hairs on your chest with mint and lemon". An elegant concoction. I have placed a warning sign above the bar saying that the management take no responsibility for adverse reactions from patrons drinking said mixture. There is no added water in this product. Get stuck in.

I have a solution to the problem of " more mouths to feed" We could start our own Merkin making business. ?

In different sizes and colours to suit all tastes. Mailed in a discreet brown envelope.

Mmmmm! I'd love a Hairs on Your Chest please Liaise . Make it a double.
Funny you should mention a Merkin business Marydoll . I was thinking of breeding lots of little merkin. We could use the outside lav as an incubator. roses could be the saleswoman; Menopaws and Liase could feed and clean up after them and you could be on night duty, making sure they didn't escape. afterall, you're awake and "busy" most of the night anyway.

Chewy I asked you to not to reveal info about my " insomnia" Now the whole of GN will know about my " night shift*

Not just the whole of GN Marydoll! I've just posted your photo on Facebook! ever so sorry

Oh, thanks Chewy. I look better than real life.?

Yes, it was a flattering shot wasn't it? You at your best!
I've been waiting ages for Hairs on My Chest. Is no one serving in here tonight or do I have to get my own? Could do with some scratchings too.

You should get something for that itch?