The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

Don't mind if I do lemon. That mini dress of yours is quite something. Are you sure you've got it on the right way round? Just don't bend forward to much with that split right down the middle anything could happen. I said don't lean forward......oops too late...

Oh dear! If only I had been wearing underwear.

Must rush off and change, I have a spare outfit hanging up behind the bar, thank goodness.
Hope you liked my song, was that rapturous applause for me?

Here you are lemon you can borrow my thong and tassels (only slightly used). I'll just wrap myself up in this bit of rag I found on the floor...oops sorry chewy didn't realise it was you. ?

Oh my eyes! Good heavens Crafting! That is a VERY low cut dress you have on! I had no idea that you had a belly button stud of a Chinese dragon, how novel. Doesn't it catch on your knickers?

I don't think she's wearing any knickers.

Crafting.....your’re on next....off yer go.

Grubs up, tuck in everybody, Soop made us some wonderful Scots food ( is the sporran cooked do you think?)

Help!!!!!
I was welcoming Wobbly in my usual exuberant manner and his medallion has becoming entangled in my yashmak. (I was going to do my dance of the three veils and a liberty bodice, as a party piece?)
Big Jim has had to hold back the Admiral, as he gets so jealous????

And why was his medallion down there Marydoll?

I am getting fed up waiting- do you lot want to hear me singing Queen songs or not! If not, I will ask Wobbly to take me home again.

I was educated at a convent- people not wearing knickers- makes me feel faint at the thought of it.

Wobbly can't take you home yet. We are awaiting Fire and Rescue service to untangle us.
Oh joy, more uniforms.?‍??‍??‍??‍??‍??‍??‍??‍??‍?

Oh thank goodness Charleygirl's here; a bit of finesse to bring to this rabble. But what's that you're wearing? Are you in fancy dress or is is a homage to Freddie Mercury?

Ok my karaoke ? piece will naturally be "Do you think I'm sexy". Who's that laughing?
What's the matter marydoll, why are you crying? My singings not that bad. Oh sorry, I didn't mean to hit you in the eye with my tassels. That will teach you to stand to close to my twirling bosoms.?

Sailors, policemen, soldiers, firemen, even the AA man! Really Marydoll! Is no man in a uniform safe with you? Poor old Charleygirl brought Wobbly as her significant other, how did heget his medallion caught up there?

I'm not sure. I think I was blinded by the sheer size of his medallion.
Don't worry Crafting, I'll borrow the Captain's eye patch. ?

Goodness me *Crafting those tassells really go at some speed, don't they? You could top up the national grid with those going at full pelt.

Charley you’re on next, are you doing We Will Rock You?

My next party piece will be I’m Too Sexy For My Shirt ( which is why I’m not wearing one.)

You shouldnt have been inspecting his "medallion" at such close quarters that it poked your eye out then should you?

Singing doesn't half give one a thirst, ????????

Thanks for another great evening at the Argy. I better go now before soop finds out I've escaped been let out. I'm hitching a lift back to the kitchen on the fire truck. These nice firemen will get me back safely I'm sure.
marydoll stop showing off and get down from that ladder at once and give that nice fireman back his helmet (although I doubt he'd want to wear it now you've been sick in it ?)

Bad news, I’m afraid, Jason the alsation has eaten the stuffed sporran, there are only neeps and tattues for supper now.
Why are you all cheering??

Tattues? Tattoos? Tatties? Och, the noo!

I may be a bit pished.

I wish I was!!!!?