The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

I have just looked at the takings, how can we only have made two pounds and seventy pee, three buttons and skme monopoly money? MARYDOLL come back here at once!

I can’t sheem to shay my wirds properly, think I will shlowly shink under this table......goo nite all.???

I'm in the Italian restaurant down the road. There wasn't enough in the honesty box my flight.✈️?? ??
Feel free to join me.

Swiiiing Loooow —hummed quietly from under the table—

Jane you've still got the microphone clipped into the back of your dress. We know that because you nipped to the loo and we could hear you wailing singing sweeeeeet chaaaariotttt whilst you were in there. Would you like to unclip it before you stagger off home with Wobbly?

Do I have to go home with medallion man?

Yes, Jane but do not worry there is safety in numbers- I will be there too. After that night I think I will stay in the kitchen having coffee and cake. Being convent educated, I really should not have been subjected to spending time with that rabble. At least I had nothing to eat or drink- there was nothing I recognised. I will stay I think where it is more refained with Hattie, Sam and others to keep me company. They are better behaved than that tassel swirling rabble.

I too was convent educated, but I am a rebel!

Life is so much more interesting on the dark side!

Marydoll some of us have standards!

Charleygirl, I have standards too! .... Well, OK, I don't really have any.
Anything goes in the Argy. I was traumitised by the nuns.
Now I don't have to wear a hat, can talk to boys/men, wear short skirts (not a pretty sight) and best of all, I can wear PATENT shoes, even if you can see the reflection my underwear in them!

Eee by heck, what a night! I need
That went well, so many great singers here, who’d a thunk it?
But of a mess though , all these upturned tables, did you try and dance on them Chewy ?
Thanks to all from Soops who came over, can we come to yours next time?
I woke up wearing a fireman's helmet and tutu, there were other feet under the duvet ( I couldn’t bear to look.)?

Lemongrove as I said before, I have standards and although the kitchen belongs to soop I think that she would balk at a repeat of last night in her lovely welcoming kitchen.

I would guarantee that you would know what you were eating and drinking there because everything is lovingly homemade.

I cannot speak for soop but I cannot see her lowering her standards to last night's level. We are much more refained there.

Well that's me well and truly outed! lemongrove has just told all the kitcheners about my turn on stage last night. I won't be able to show my face in the kitchen again for a while.
Oh well. Hair of the dog and all that. What have you got on tap at the bar at the moment then? Whatever it is make mine a double. Anyone got any glue remover? These tassels are really stuck on.?

Yeah, right! Course you are

Hang on Crafting I will give them a good pull!
Our specials on tap tonight are Goblin’s Arse ( an aquired taste) Farmer’s Boot ( dark and full of bits) and Old Weirdo
( like Old Peculiar but even more peculiar.)
So, what’ll it be????

I vote that we all go over to soops kitchen and show them how to have fun. We could take the potteen, tassels and Jason the Alsation and have a hooley over there instead of mucking up the Argy. Yes?

I think Farmer's boot should do the job. Ok lemongrove anchor yourself to something and pull hard......
Well they're off thank goodness. lemon I say, are you alright? I didn't expect you to be pulling so hard you'd fall backwards down the trapdoor and end up with your head embedded in a beer barrel. What's that you say? All I can hear is gurgling

I’m in! Whayhay! ???Party time.

Oh and Charleygirl you left your leather bondage basque in the outside lav. I've pinned it up by the front door so's you don't forget it. surprised you're into black leather bondage to be honest

S’alright, drink makes you indestructible, anyroad up I had a soft landing (Big Jim was down here luckily.)

Hello chewy want to join me and lemon in the cellar? Not sure what she's drinking but I want some too. ????

Ooh definitely Crafting. It's been a while since I went down to the cellar. The last time was quite traumatic for me. I saw things that have taken my therapist 12 months to erase from my memory. Shall I bring the barrel of home brew onion brandy?

Chewbacca the nuns worked very hard for many years but did not quite make me become a paragon of virtue.

Good to hear Charleygirl!