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Christmas present for dil

(80 Posts)
mrsmopp Wed 08-Nov-17 23:46:04

Never know what to give my dil for Christmas as she has so much already. She lacks nothing. She goes shopping and comes back laden with clothes for herself, she has tons of jewellery. Have bought her things in the past and never see her wearing anything - I'm sure she passes them on as gifts to other people. Dare I say she's a bit spoilt? Am totally at a loss. She doesn't buy me anything, my son gets me something and the label says its from both of them. Isn't Christmas a minefield sometimes. Got them theatre tickets last year, can't do that again. I just feel like saying let's not bother with presents at all this year. Am I a Bah Humbug Scrooge? Is it just me? People have so much these days.

RosemarySuperager Fri 10-Nov-17 13:55:24

Buy a present for your son and say it's for both of them.

grandtanteJE65 Fri 10-Nov-17 13:58:54

I don't think there is any reason why you shouldn't give your son and DIL a joint present, especially as they give you a present "from them both".

I would try saying honestly to my DIL that you are in a quandary knowing what to give her and ask whether she has any wishes. By asking like that you give her an opportunity to tell you what she would like, or to say that she thinks giving Christmas presents unnecessary, if that is what she feels.

A lot of people seem to feel these days that they can afford to buy anything they need or want. To me even if this is true they are somewhat missing the point about giving presents, which to me is about trying to show your love and appreciation of family and friends. But I have come to realise that a lot of people just don't feel like that.

Sheilasue Fri 10-Nov-17 14:17:07

Give vouchers that’s what I do for some of my family.

GadaboutGran Fri 10-Nov-17 14:34:12

Suggest you buy Love a Lav from Present Aid.

Feelingmyage55 Fri 10-Nov-17 14:51:58

Of course you can say it - on here! But maybe not elsewhere! Ask your son for suggestions or if there is a grandchild(re) would he allow you to take them shopping for their mum. Therefore they choose, you pay - and what they choose ..... Well there could be some funny choices knowing children's logic - laughs - what better?

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 10-Nov-17 15:47:19

If I'm stuck with what to get someone for a present my usual 'go-to' idea would be toiletries. We all need to wash, don't we?
If anyone says they have too much stuff I suggest that we just exchange cards. I've found that this often goes down well as it means that they can cross off a name on their list to make life easier.

Tessa101 Fri 10-Nov-17 15:49:39

Jo Malone candle they are expensive but a truly lovely gift and well known as being a great gift to receive.

Caro1954 Fri 10-Nov-17 17:03:54

100% with Grannynise! Love the challenge of the small Secret Santa and the charity of your choice benefits - win win! I am definitely going to suggest this to my immediate family this year, my wider family have had charity gifts for years.

Caro1954 Fri 10-Nov-17 17:05:33

Adults only of course - I'm already looking for presents for the GC!

Newquay Fri 10-Nov-17 17:16:09

A few years ago I suggested amongst our little group of six friends we buy a charity gift-absolutely brilliant.
A couple of years ago our DD2 and 2 nephews all moved house so we pushed the boat out and bought them all a toilet overseas. This year back to buying nephews (who have all they could ever want) a lottery ticket for the hospice where their dear Dad was.
And this year I took the plunge and suggested to DDs we must bu for children-brilliant. As OPs have said sometimes it just takes one person to suggest it.
And, not wishing to be smug, but have all but finished present buying cos DD2 is expecting 2nd baby in a couple of weeks so there will be no time then to do anything will there? It has concentrated my mind I'll tell you!

acanthus Fri 10-Nov-17 17:41:01

We did 'Secret Santa' for a few years and then gave it up completely, just buying for the GC. It makes life so much easier. I do of course buy little things i.e. scratchcards, calendars etc. for the adults which are always welcome.
We do give quite generously on birthdays but am thinking that perhaps even that is superfluous.

yellowcanary Fri 10-Nov-17 18:37:27

I like to buy a foodie/kitchen sort of gift as joint present to my brother and sister-in-law, and sister and brother-in-law - last year it was yoghurt maker and powders, was struggling this year but as Anne53 said I found Spice subscriptions from the Spicery - very reasonable and the one I got was 3 months, but they do longer ones and a variety of ones as well. Very quick delivery too - ordered Wednesday evening arrived this morning - first box has voucher inside for rest of subscription. Both sets love their curries so I look forward to tasting them as well smile

newnanny Fri 10-Nov-17 20:44:01

Manicure, pedicure or spa day.

JackyB Sat 11-Nov-17 07:46:35

My daughters in law have specifically said "please no more toiletries!".

4Fatsausages Sat 11-Nov-17 08:33:36

I don't stress about Christmas gifts. I pay for a family break away as my gift my 2 grandchildren are both under 5. This year gift is a wonderland at centre parcs break. But on xmas day the gifts I give will be small token gifts (socks for DD and for SIL) small token gifts for the GC. They don't have lot's of spare cash at the moment so a family break away is very much appreciated, or so I'm told. As a bonus I get to see 2 very excited little people.

MesMopTop Sat 11-Nov-17 08:37:32

Never know what to get for my sons partner. Have never seen her use or wear a single, solitary thing we've given to either her or our grandson over the years, whether birthday or Christmas. So gift vouchers it shall be! Sorted

fluttERBY123 Sat 11-Nov-17 15:41:21

We banned Christmas presents for adults years ago. Just get them for kids, big relief all round - people have everything already these days.

Grandma 70 - did not copy yrs, honest, just saw it!

EmilyHarburn Sat 11-Nov-17 15:58:30

I send flowers either from Fentagollen or from
Cornish Blooms
[email protected]

DiL likes scented fresia and my brothers wives like scented narcissi. if you want to you can add biscuits or smoked meats etc. I have a list of addresses and do more or less the same order each year.

JuliaSeizer44 Sun 12-Nov-17 02:47:25

I think anyone buying clothes for a DIL is on a hiding to nowhere. If she and your DS buy something for you jointly, why not buy something for the two of them such as something for the garden?

NanKate Sun 12-Nov-17 04:43:08

The way I am feeling at present towards my D in L and her fancy man, a one way ticket to China would suit. ☹️

Norah Sun 12-Nov-17 12:57:01


GoldenAge Sun 12-Nov-17 13:56:52

mrsmopp - ask your dil what she would like - at the same time ask her whether she has liked previous presents you have given her and that will bring the whole business of Christmas gifts to the fore as an item for discussion - if she has everything then maybe she will say she would rather you adopt an elephant or tiger for her, or buy a goat for a family in a developing country. When I had my 60th I made it plain that I had everything I wanted/needed but that I would be delighted if people wanted to buy some 'plumpy nut' via Save the Children for malnourished children in Africa mainly but also in other parts of the world. A pouch of this was less than £10 and people readily jumped at the opportunity to please me and do some good in the world. Sponsor the training of a guide dog for her or if she is the kind who really wants something for herself buy her a baking/bread-making/chocolate-making course or similar. If you have a discussion about presents she might become a better person and pass some of her wealth on to those less fortunate.

mrsmopp Tue 14-Nov-17 16:07:24

All good advice and from past experience she loves the whole present thing. "This is what Christmas is all about - presents" she said last year and when we are out, she sees something she likes and runs to ask my son to buy it for her.
"ooh, buy me this," she says, and he says "you have ten of those already."
But the advice to open a discussion is a good one and I shall do that.

jbeanie Fri 17-Nov-17 03:43:09


l think its important that you buy your daughter in law a present it does not have to be something expensive but its important you do not exclude her , l am sure she senses tension with you and to be honest if you are calling her spoilt behind her back l think she is justified in feeling that any previous gifts given were from obligation and not from the heart , your son obviouslly loves her and you and not to be mean suck it up and try to get along with her find some common ground something in common .

Jaywalk Fri 17-Nov-17 08:37:43

I did suggest this very thing to my son a couple of years ago, to his horror. I was just fed up with the whole thing of constantly worrying about what they would both like (son and dil) that was within budget. I said I would rather spend more on my grandson than get everyone presents, and quite honestly we've had 4 years of hampers from them which is a lot of packaging and a few small items in there somewhere.
We don't have an easy relationship with them anyway which makes it all the more difficult. sad