To down size or not to down size.

I do totally get where you're coming from, jane. However, I AM trying to do the aforesaid clear out/clean up while I still can but I really could do with just a bit of help from the people who will have to clear out/clean up when I'm gone. But they're 'fartoobusy' . So, I've given up on the Swedish death clean thingy and am currently putting stuff back in the loft and piling things into cupboards.

Janeayresister Brilliant post, many thanks. You are so right. Will start today.

I get where she is coming from too, having cleared out three homes after elderly relatives died.

BUT - none of us know when our time will come. ~It could be tomorrow, but it is far more likely to be some years away. Life expectancy gets longer as get older, and if we have made it to our 70s we stand a pretty good chance of still being around halfway through our 80s. That could be another 15 or 20 years in our sterile little downsized shoebox, with our nice things gone to the charity shop, our kitchen equipment reduced to a couple of small saucepans and a microwave, the little things that hold our memories chucked in the tip.

Please let us have some space to finish off our living time surrounded by the familiar things we love. We did our turn going through the things our parents had round them until the end (and finding lots of memories of our own among them) They didn't ask very much of us, and we don't ask very much of our families either.

Good post, Elegran...

Postpone the move, enjoy what you have now. If cash is a big issue, think you need two bedrooms.

Hear, hear Elegran! We feel we have downsized sufficiently having now moved to a 3/4 bedroom bungalow even though some of our family howled with derision at our downsize. We are still intent on doing some living if things progress better in the next year or so and we want to enjoy the space we have for our individual hobbies and to do different things together as well.
When we looked around at properties it was incredible just how much paraphernalia some folk feel is essential for living and mind blowing how others just don't see the excess at all. Our new home was an executors' sale and we felt it was a terrible warning as it was so full up to the gunwales with antiques, collectibles and just stuff that it apparently took the whole family three months just to empty it. For example there were three grandfather clocks in the loft in addition to four in the house itself. How they got some of the stuff up into the loft was amazing and we were thankful for gravity being on our side to get it down and then out! Things were put into storage to be sent to the saleroom as they felt able. They tried their best to sell us stuff for which they couldn't find buyers or even cope with but we had plenty of our own! In the end we just told them to leave what they didn't want but was usable and we would find people who were really glad of them - which we did. Thankfully they didn't leave very much except white goods! It was strange how people collected so much stuff which was not really worth anything but equally strange that their children thought they could sell everything and make lots of money from it and I suppose if you have the time it is possible but the saying that "time is money" is equally true. They couldn't see that one person's version of a collection is another person's clutter nightmare.

Lets not assume that we all get incapable before we die. That doesn't necessarily apply.

Both my parents, at 85 at 92 were fully operational and running their lives until either their short final illness, or sudden death in their sleep. Their house was orderly and uncluttered, although I do admit the loft was full. They had downsized to a large bungalow when they retired, but the survivor lived their 27 years, plenty of time to clutter it up if he wished.

We also cleared the houses of DH's parents and one other relative on each side and it was the same, the relations were fit and well in mind and body before their short final illnesses. In all cases their houses were filled with the cargo of their lives, objects and belongings that mattered to them and we appreciated that and accorded them due respect.

As for dismissing the deceased belongings as clutter. How would the younger superior people who are so dismissive of our fond possessions feel if someone went round to their houses and treated their prized possessions as so much clutter to be chucked out?

Personally my sister and I appreciated the time we spent carefully disassembling our parent's home. We were disassembling our past lives as well. As we discovered things it brought back happy childhood memories as well as memories our parents's lives and happy marriage. By the time we had finally emptied the house we had reached a quiet acceptance that our parents and our joint lives were in the past and it was time to move on.

Let us remember too that although our families may find it a bind to clear our houses after we are gone, it is possible that if we clear everything out too soon they could have many years of us needing more and more "entertaining" by them because we have lost all the stuff that we might have been happily pottering around with. All those wools, fabrics, paints and paper, books, photographs, letters and memorabilia from the past, all the recipe books and the little-used but interesting kitchen gadgets, all the knickknacks brought back by our own friends, parents and inlaws from their holidays decades ago - these are like the toys that keep the children from continuously pestering to pay attention to them. Without them we would be far more demanding of their time!

Just an additional note to add that when I was talking about clutter I was talking about things like piles of newspapers right up to the ceiling, bags of carrier bags crammed under tables, grandfather clocks laying on their backs in the loft together with pieces of chipped china, damaged furniture and rolls of old carpets etc etc. It all certainly opened my eyes as it was outside of my own experience until then.
I have a few knick knacks, embroidered pictures, patchwork quilts, photograph albums, wedding present silver items from several generations, diaries and memory pieces and they are absolutely not clutter and our D.C. have put their own names down against most of them.

That makes more sense, synonymous I had a job reconciling the two halves of your post.

'piles of newspapers right up to the ceiling, bags of carrier bags crammed under tables, grandfather clocks laying on their backs in the loft together with pieces of chipped china, damaged furniture and rolls of old carpets etc etc.' oh dear....[no grandfather clock, though....]

Actually what will cause our children more trouble and time than clearing our houses will be if we die without making a will.

Forget de-cluttering, or at least leave it until you have made a will. 60% of us will die intestate, and dealing with that is a real hassle. I know I have done it.

Elegran I am knitting some 30 year old yarn at the moment.

However, I have just bought several 'fat quarters' and must do something with them!!

Jalima Finishing up the stash is like emptying one of those magic pots that the genies gave to deserving peasants, which refilled themselves when they were empty. You just need a bit of green fabric to set off those bits that you have had for 20 years so you buy some. Then the left-over from the green plus the blue from only 10 years ago would make a lovely combination but there isn't quite enough. None of your other scraps will go well with them, so it is back to the fabric shop . . .

My parents died without making a will. They were very poor but always had bits of money saved for a rainy day. It was sad to see most of it go to a solicitor who had to sort everything out .