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OK, some might say that this should be under "Bereavement&qu ot; but I am so proud!

(54 Posts)
phoenix Tue 12-Dec-17 23:39:16

Today, 12th December 2008, my youngest soon took his own life at the age of 19.

Although I'm not a great Facebook user, ages ago I set up a separate folder for Facebook stuff.

I am so happy and proud to see that even after 9 years, his friends still think of him fondly, and post on a special page that they created after Facebook removed the "wall" that was created when he died, which his friends and I would like to see reinstated.angry

The posts today include the fact that the snow the other day reminded one friend of the time he and DS2 went sledging and blowing up snowmen with bangers ( hmm not sure I would have approved of that, ) and other "interesting" reminiscences!

I suppose what I'm trying to convey is that he still seems to be very fondly remembered by his peers, and for people of their age, 9 years after the event, must say something!

My darling boy, loved, missed and thought of every day.

phoenix Tue 12-Dec-17 23:40:40

Don't know what went wrong with the title? confused

Feelingmyage55 Tue 12-Dec-17 23:46:06

How lovely that his friend remember him like this. He must have been a lovely person and I am glad that this gives you pride and comfort. Remembered! That is a real tribute.

SueDonim Tue 12-Dec-17 23:51:22

I'm so sorry you've had such terrible loss in your life. flowers I'm glad that you can draw comfort from knowing your son had good friends and that they do not forget him.

phoenix Wed 13-Dec-17 00:06:28

Thank you both.

The first year after his death I wasn't surprised to see the postings, but 9 years on, and with several friends of his still posting, (btw, I didn't start the thread or whatever it is called on Facebook!) I am genuinely touched and proud.

This may sound silly, but even though he had left school 2 years before he died, and the funeral was at Bodmin (quite a way from Holsworthy, where he went to school) 3 of the dinner ladies came to the service! Quite a distance, and a freezing cold day.

They all took the time to speak to me, and it seems that he was a popular person for his good manners and sense of humour.

Chewbacca Wed 13-Dec-17 00:15:39

it seems that he was a popular person for his good manners and sense of humour.

Of course he was phoenix, he got that from his mum! And whilst nothing can make up for your sad loss, I'm so glad that your lovely son is still remembered with fondness and laughter. And he was good at choosing lovely friends too. flowers x

phoenix Wed 13-Dec-17 00:21:42

Chewbacca that's a lovely thing to say, thank you.

cornergran Wed 13-Dec-17 00:45:43

Every right to be proud, phoenix. To be receiving such love now proves how much love your son had for others and how much he mattered to them. Each memory and post a small thing in itself but put together they become something so much bigger. I’m grateful you have been able to read those messages and feel their warmth

Squiffy Wed 13-Dec-17 00:48:47

phoenix That must give you such a warm feeling knowing how much his friends still think of him. He must have been a very special boy. Lovely, too, that you now know about his pranks - even if you don't entirely approve!

Ginny42 Wed 13-Dec-17 01:04:25

How wonderful that you can read the messages from his friends all these years later, and feel comforted by them. It's clear that they too remember him as a very special person. It says a lot about his friends too.

grannyactivist Wed 13-Dec-17 01:45:01

Phoenix I wrote a very long and considered response to your post and then had a tired senior moment and instead of clicking 'post message' I clicked on the GN shortcut on my toolbar tchconfused and lost the flippin thing. What I said boiled down to; I get it - that affirmation that comes from knowing he was special to others too. flowers

Anniebach Wed 13-Dec-17 03:46:35

It does say something my love, your son will always be remembered , special people are not forgotten , my love to you x

ninathenana Wed 13-Dec-17 04:59:15

phoenix I read your op with a smile on my face and a tear in my eye.
Proof, not that you needed it how much he was loved. I'm glad you took comfort from it flowers

baubles Wed 13-Dec-17 05:15:04

Phoenix flowers

suzied Wed 13-Dec-17 05:35:34

It’s wonderful that your son is fondly remembered by his friends and I do know what this means to you. When someone dies we can’t make new memories of them only keep hold of old ones, so the fact his friends are remembering things you didn’t know about him is so important. They haven’t forgotten him and never will 💐💐💐

kittylester Wed 13-Dec-17 06:19:21

That is lovely, phoenix. You are right to be proud of him. I'm pleased that you didn't put it under bereavement.

BabyLayla Wed 13-Dec-17 06:38:04

How very very lovely,
I've been close to several people who have lost children over the years and often think of them.
Death is a sudden thing, however loss is forever but it's a concern how to share that with the family, you don't want to upset somebody who is coping, you don't always have time to support if they get very upset. I'm saddened by the lack of speaking the name of those lost but often feel emotional remembering moments and events, it's very difficult.
I'm so pleased you find comfort in the knowledge that your son lives on, gone but not forgotten.
Kind thoughts x

shysal Wed 13-Dec-17 07:43:50

Phoenix flowers

mumofmadboys Wed 13-Dec-17 07:52:30

Hope you can have lots of happy memories of your DS xx

NfkDumpling Wed 13-Dec-17 07:55:03

flowers And a b i g ((((hug))))

MawBroon Wed 13-Dec-17 08:08:40

Phoenix you have everybright to be proud. It is not only the length of a life which counts, but the quality.
Your son clearly touched many lives and his personality and friendship lives on in them.
A heartbreaking situation for you - sympathy, 💕 love and a big online {{hug}}

Keep talking about him, keep writing about him - that flame in your heart will never go out xx

MawBroon Wed 13-Dec-17 08:09:49

Would you believe I meant “every right” -sorry.

Iam64 Wed 13-Dec-17 08:18:03

Sending love phoenix flowers

Friday Wed 13-Dec-17 08:24:53

Hang on to those precious memories Phoenix and how lovely, after 9 years, to still be finding out new things about your son flowers

nightowl Wed 13-Dec-17 08:29:51

flowers for you and your boy phoenix.