Reaction to your pregnancy

Maybe she thought you were upstaging your sister?

I was delighted to be pregnant and so were both sets of GPs. However when the baby died after it was born my mother threw a hissy fit and said I'd stopped her being a grandmother. However DH's parents were delighted. When we went on to have another 2 children my mother showed little interest but told everyone she was a grandmother. My father enjoyed the little he saw of them - they lived a long way away - and even came to the hospital armed with an enormous teddy! My mother's attitude could have related to her also losing a baby but it was still very hurtful. She showed little interest in the GC either and wouldn't let DD and her partner stay when they took the trouble to visit because they weren't married. Hopefully my own attitude was a real contrast. We both love our GC very much even though they drive us made on occasion. We're lucky to see them often.

The reaction to my honey moon pregnancy was one of delight from my childless aunts. My own mothers reaction was, considering I was born in the first year of her marriage and she and my father were still living with his parents was, 'couldn't you have waited until you had your own home'
We were in fact waiting to move into our own home on completion of the paper work.

My mam said 'What have you done that for?' when I told her about my first pregnancy. 'OK' for my second and 'Oh another one....why?' for my third.

My mam isn't a baby person.

We were living abroad at time of pregnancy discovery and the news was immediately transmitted by letter to both sets of parents so don't know what the reaction was. My guess would be my Mother (1st) was delighted but anxious for me whereas MiL (10th) would simply take it in her stride and be happy for us. My own experience was very different in that I was told in a most peculiar way - jokey and had to wait 'til the penny dropped' - and I very much regret my stupid response. Not unkind or awful, just not thought through. In my defence, this pregnancy was extremely unexpected by me but feeble comment nonetheless. Happy to say the outcome is thoroughly wholesome and we have a fine all round relationship.

My mother asked “how did that happen?”

I had a honeymoon pregnancy (i could hear my MiL counting the days!!) I wrote to my mother to tell her and received by return of post a note which said - and I quote- " I would give the wedding guests time to hang up their hats before making this news general"! From that terse little beginning though, she adored my son although she died in a car accident before he was 3. He missed out on a very loving granny!

I thought my long estranged mother was quite mad but reading these posts...! Mine was spiteful with me because I didn't get pregnant straight after marriage as she did. Things just deteriorated after that to the point where she tried to break my marriage up because it wasn't producing her grandchild so I chose, to her shock, husband over her. 3 years later I had my first but no acknowledgement from her though she passed me in the street with the baby. There was an attempt at reconciliation 10 years later but she announced she could not love my children so that ended that. These women are their own worse enemy.

My mother was a beautiful knitter. And she adored children.

We had been married about two years when I became pregnant. I handed mum a knitting pattern for a baby's shawl and asked if she could do one of those.

She asked who it was for, and I said "your first grandchild".

I've never been so happy to make my mum cry. She was ecstatic, and a fabulous Grandy to my three children.

I don't even remember my in laws' reaction. They were so unemotional about everything, I doubt they even said much.

When I told my Mum I was pregnant, she said 'oh you're not going to make me a grandma before I'm forty are you?' Fortunately her fortieth birthday was in February and baby arrived in March!

My mother's first words were 'Don't expect me to look after it' , and when I told her I was expecting DS it was met with silence.
My first was DD, MIL came to the hospital, her first words were 'You should have had a boy' followed by 'I'm not calling her X, I'll think of another name' she was a Class 1 cow so shouldn't have expected anything less I guess!
Apart from having DD overnight when I miscarried DC2 my mother never babysat or had my DCs overnight (totally different with my two sisters' children though, they virtually lived with my parents)
Very sad really but then I've never done anything right in my mother's eyes, even now she has to make unpleasant comments ?☹️

I wouldn't repeat my mother's mistakes. I make my own, which I suspect my daughter won't repeat. She, no doubt is too busy making her own.

MIL (Shudder !) visiting the day after DD born, "What a beautiful baby" turning to me - "You have surprised me". Nuff said !

I was too young so can't repeat what was said by my parents

When I told my mother I was pregnant with my first child (we had been married over 18 months) her reaction was "Oh dear!" and "Can't they give you a D&C?"
The second time I was pregnant she told me I was being selfish, I was in danger of leaving my first child without a mother, and said "I wouldn't have another child," to which I replied "Nobody is asking you to", so she shut up.
Strangely she had a close relationship with both of them, especially my DD (the second child). She loved Grandma and has very happy memories of time spent at Grandma's. I have never told them what she said and don't ever intend to.

I got pregnant at 32 which was quite late in those days and my own parents were delighted. My mother in law, however offered us money for an abortion and said we were mad to have children!!! She said the same to my husbands 2 sisters apparently when they got pregnant. Obviously no one took up her offer.

My late husband and I met and married in our mid 30s. All family and friends were delighted as, on both sides, it had been assumed that we were singles for life. When our daughter was born 18 months later, everyone was thrilled and I received so many flowers I could have opened a flower shop. In the hospital I was asked if I was some kind of princess!
30 months later I had a very prem son - at 25 weeks. When he eventually came home at 4 months old, again everyone was thrilled for us.
My DD also married in her mid 30s and when she announced she was pregnant I burst into tears as I was so happy (and also going through a very emotional stage in my life at that time). For half a second she thought I was horrified, but then realised I was thrilled!! My DGD is now 7 months old and I love her to pieces.
Now waiting to see if my DS will also add to the family.

When I told my mum I was expecting our first child she congratulated me of course.... but she had 9 GC already and 2 born the same year. I suppose she was GC out by then. But she was very supportive emotionally as she couldn't be hands on as still working and living 50 miles away, she had more to do with all the other grandkids although she always spent her hols and Christmas with us and caught up with my kids then and we saw her as often as possible, They always had a good relationship with her. My MIL on the other hand said "don't expect me to babysit" ... I didn't...she smoked like a chimney... lived in abounding clutter... we saw her twice a week and the kids didn't like her very much. They hated going there because of cigarette smoke and mess! Unfortunately my daughter is the living image of her although won't accept as much, and gets angry if it's pointed out. People have learnt to keep it to themselves!! FIL was a lovely although useless man ...he loved the kids . I am ...I think ..I hope... a lovely Nanna to my two. I babysit as often as can ... Walk three miles at 6.15 in morning to get to there house so mum and dad can work ... I breakfast hem.. get them washed ..dressed.. teeth cleaned and get the older out the door by 8 so he can pedal bike to his school and walk the youngest to her school. Stay at my daughters to do bit of housework/washing for them so loads not too much as they both work with emotionally scarred and excluded children. Go home do a bit at mine and walk the three miles again to pick up the youngest . Get there teas... wait for first parent coming in and go home. Do that three times a week. Because of them I'm as fit as a 68 year old can be and closer to them than many a nanna. I love it all!! Even the hard work of it all.

Sadly, my parents were not alive to react to news of our first pregnancy. And when I asked my sister-in-law (two years younger than me) if she was looking forward to being an aunt, she said "No. I'm looking forward to having my own child one day." So not great but we were perfectly happy about it so not too disappointed.

When I had my two boys, one at 24 the other at 34 ( married at 21 ) my father said nothing and my mother was very upset and cried ! Still not sure why, think it was because she was one of nine children and each new pregnancy that she was aware of was greated with sadness and worry. I am an only child.

Both sets of grandparents were delighted when our children were born. However after producing a girl then a boy I became pregnant again which was planned. MIL’s reaction was that since I already had one of each she couldn’t see why we bothered. Which was actually a bit rich from someone with six children!

What an awful time you had Paddyann with all those lost babies (miscarriages plus baby lost at a few days old. ) You have my sympathy - i lost one and that was bad enough. My parents and inlaws were all delighted when I announced each pregnancy, and I have been too (as has DH) with each announcement from DC of impending GC.
However I was shocked at the negative reaction from DC's MiL both times. I couldn't believe it at the time but reading the posts above it seems she was not that unusual.

My MIL went in the kitchen and smashed dishes.

123flump - Why? That sounds terrible for you.
Had you got on with her previously? Did she calm down later and have a good relationship with you and your baby?

My mother heard the news and said "Really? I just fell over the oven door and I have hurt my leg". What an anticlimax! My MIL was delighted. I ended up having to cut off all contact with my mother after she mistreated my children, and she didn't exactly treat me well either. And at my great age, it is so sad that I will never be able to forgive her.