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Someone offered to pray for DS!

(227 Posts)
kittylester Sat 27-Jan-18 19:31:54

DS1 had a stroke 10 years ago and has left sided weakness and walks rather unsteadily with a stick! He does, however walk all over our small town with strategic stops.

As he was crossing the market place a woman came up to him and asked if she could pray for him.

He was upset to think someone thought they should pray for him and that he would want them to.

What do you think?

Fennel Sun 28-Jan-18 11:54:29

At one time we were living in a religious community which had a prayer group, reading psalms etc for sick people, or others who had serious problems.
But we had been asked by the person with the problem, or their family, to pray for them.
Since then I've prayed for others too, but keep it to myself (and God.)

threexnanny Sun 28-Jan-18 11:54:31

I was happy to hear that I'd been prayed for by friends and family after I'd been ill.
However, a young friend who had stitches in her face after surgery was approached by more than one stranger who told her she ought to cover it up! She was already very self conscious so these 'kindly meant' comments ( as she was told they were) didn't help and it beggars belief that anyone could really think it would.

luzdoh Sun 28-Jan-18 11:55:14

I understand why you are confused. People never talk about the devil nowadays, yet the fallen angel; Lucifer, Satan, Abaddon, Apollion, any other name you want- is here "prowling about the earth" (I think that's in bk of Job) looking for something to do, wanting power. When God created the world he saw that everything was good, but things started to go wrong once we gained the knowledge of good and evil. His perfect creation was messed around with in the same way as those evil minded people who have to invent computer viruses to cause random havoc to perfectly performing computer systems. So do not attribute bad things to God. Also we need faith in him to cope with bad things as we do not live in Paradise or Heaven where he rules, remember, "Thy will be done as it is in Heaven" tells us, it won't be done here till everyone wants it!

Skweek1 Sun 28-Jan-18 11:58:40

It was a well-meant offer and I don't think offence should be taken. I generally say thank you and accept the offer in the spirit it was meant. To me it is affected by the Wiccan Rede (If it hurts no-one, do what you will). That way if the pain/disability is part of your spiritual path, the prayer will not have any effect, while for the person making the offer of prayer, it will do him/her nothing but good.

Juggernaut Sun 28-Jan-18 12:00:54

As an atheist. I would have been offended by her comment.
She would have been told, gently I hope, that I would rather she offered up a prayer for someone who doesn't think it's all a lot of twaddle!
If she then continued to 'argue her case', I'd tell her where to get off... I don't spout my views at believers and I appreciate them doing the same with me!

luzdoh Sun 28-Jan-18 12:01:59

Dear Saggi my reply "I Understand why you are confused.." was to your remarks, many thanks.

Oldwoman70 Sun 28-Jan-18 12:07:26

I am a believer and have often prayed for friends and relatives however I never announce the fact nor would I ever ask a stranger if they would want me to pray for them.

When flying I offer up a silent prayer for the safety of everyone on board (but that could just be selfishness on my part!)

Cabbie21 Sun 28-Jan-18 12:07:55

Whilst I agree that what she said was inappropriate, tactless and misguided, I would not be insulted. Far worse if the person had been verbally or physically abused or terrorised.

Coco51 Sun 28-Jan-18 12:09:46

I was approached in our city centre by two young girls - they were so earnest I didn’t have the heart to tell them that I don’t believe in God. It only took a few minutes and if they felt better afterwards then that was a good thing to do

luzdoh Sun 28-Jan-18 12:10:36

Leggs55 I think Jehover's Witnesses are mainly brainwashed people who are trapped in a cult where fear of leaving and fear of not knocking doors forces them to become our nightmare. We used to have to make children of them a ward of court in the event of serious accident so as to save their lives - about 40 yrs ago. I try to be gentle with them, but I do know God is good, loving and kind and not like the one they depict.

gagsy Sun 28-Jan-18 12:11:15

It is a little unusual but I always appreciate people praying for me, of whatever denomination.
“More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of”
He could just smile and carry on walking. It takes all sorts!

midgey Sun 28-Jan-18 12:12:27

My husband is in a wheelchair and is frequently patted on the head or arm, or spoken to as if he is a complete imbecile!

HurdyGurdy Sun 28-Jan-18 12:14:31

I find it odd that she needed to ask his permission. Why would that be? If she felt the need to pray for someone, then just go ahead and do it.

Not knowing that someone was praying for me wouldn't affect me, so if someone feels the need, let them go ahead.

luzdoh Sun 28-Jan-18 12:15:08

Juggernaut - As a Christian I agree with you, politeness matters, and it is a world where we are allowed to believe freely and not be unduly bothered. I think this lady sounds a bit over zealous and not too imaginative! As many have said, she assumed this person was in need of the assistance of prayer and kind of jumped on him. Yet he was doing fine! It's people like her that put the rest of society off Christians!!

Oldwoman70 Sun 28-Jan-18 12:18:48

midgey that is awful and I am sorry to say I have experienced something similar. A very dear friend of mine spent the last years of her life in a wheelchair. One day I had taken her shopping for some material (she was a great seamstress), all the time the assistant kept asking me questions along the lines of "how much does she want" and "does she want matching thread". Now I know nothing about sewing (can't sew a button on without it coming off again!) so I kept telling the assistant to ask my friend. In the end I'm afraid I did get a bit shirty with her and pointed out that my friend was in a wheelchair because she couldn't walk but there was nothing wrong with her brain!!

Grandma70s Sun 28-Jan-18 12:19:12

Quite apart from anything else, it's patently obvious that prayer doesn’t work. For how many centuries have people been praying for peace? It hasn’t happened yet. It’s a delusion. It may make the people who pray feel better, but it doesn’t really affect anyone else.

When my husband died, I was much more impressed by the people who offered to help with the children than I was by people who prayed for me.

Minerva Sun 28-Jan-18 12:23:52

I am an atheist and used to smile when a very elderly neighbour, whom I used to help where I could, told me what a Christian I was. Christ was a good person and I certainly didn’t feel offended. But after I broke my leg at the knee I was obliged to walk carefully with a stick for a year at least and was seriously embarrassed when a lady in a crowded M&S asked if she could pray for me?. I wasn’t insulted but I was mightily keen to make my excuses and exit the shop as steadily as I could. She meant well and didn’t intend to embarrass me so I wasn’t annoyed. We had a laugh when I got home and relayed the story.

lovebooks Sun 28-Jan-18 12:35:21

I had a plumber around a few years ago who did this! I'd mentioned I'd lost my husband, and he said: Would you mind if I prayed for you? Thinking it was his business, and that he meant well, I said yes. On the spot, he flung his hands in the air and began to pray loudly. I stood there wishing a deep hole in the floor might open and swallow me up - one of my most embarrassing moments. And no, I didn't use him.

sandelf Sun 28-Jan-18 12:36:29

Praying for someone is only ever meant to help - so I'm sorry he was taken aback but it is actually quite nice to think someone is wishing you well. Can't do any harm and you never know - there are things we do not understand - it may help in some way, on some level that we don't comprehend.

Telly Sun 28-Jan-18 12:44:12

Can understand why he would be upset, you hardly need permission to pray for someone. I think perhaps this person is a bit strange, and perhaps has unwittingly upset him.

luzdoh Sun 28-Jan-18 12:44:29

gagsy Thank you, what a lovely reply, you've cheered me up and for me, summed up the way to deal with life and awkward situations. God bless you!

luzdoh Sun 28-Jan-18 12:59:46

Hello Saggi, Again I have to agree. What people do in the name of religion is terribly evil and more than enough to put any sensible person off. I have been given - like it or not - this irrefutable sign and knowledge that God as we read of him in the bible exists! Do call me crazy because I know that's how it sounds! I was the first to think so. I have tried to learn as much as I can especially about the terrible God of the Old Testament who seems just cruel, and my understanding has expanded and my knowledge of the language used, the way to interpret it (e.g. prophetic terms, such as 'trumpet' means 'war') is growing daily, as is my relationship with God whom we reach through Jesus. Yet I still understand and have sympathy with people like you who think it is mad and that religion causes trouble. It's people who cause trouble unfortunately. Thanks for your answers.

Mouse Sun 28-Jan-18 13:11:38

I had a similar experience some years ago. I walk with a stick. On this particular occasion I was at the train station waiting for a friend to pick me up. I was in considerable pain and was having difficulty hiding the fact.

A young woman cane over to me and asked if I was ok. Through gritted teeth I explained that although in pain I was ok and that someone would be with me soon. This was when she asked if I minded if she prayed for me. To be honest I just wanted her to go away so I said no I didn’t mind. To me horror and incredible embarrassment, she put her hand on my back and in a loud voice began to pray that God would come down and heal me! I said a prayer of my own in my head that God would get me out of this horribly embarrassing situation lol! Atcwhich point I passed out from the pain. When I woke up it was to find an ambulance man leaning over me and to my relief the woman was gone.

Luckygirl Sun 28-Jan-18 13:13:20

"but things started to go wrong once we gained the knowledge of good and evil." - not that hackneyed guilt trip again please!

sarahellenwhitney Sun 28-Jan-18 13:15:32

kittylester
A stranger coming up to a person let alone a disabled person and who was on their own with an offer of prayer could be unnerving. DSL was clearly unhappy about this and no matter of any good intentions by that other person unless DSL wanted prayer then he was within his rights to give a polite no thank you and be on his way.
Of course there will always be those to accept but that is their choice and their choice alone.