Ashes to ashes

I agree with the OP that I would find it a bit unnerving to have ashes brought to my house like that, but I suppose we have to give and take and accept that some people have to deal with loss in a way we don’t understand.

Reading this I am glad the law in Denmark does not allow human ashes to be kept in the home. You either place them in a columbarium or lower them into a plot for urns in the cemetery, or apply to spread them at sea. Spreading them on land is illegal, here.

If she were my sister, I would ask her not to bring the urn with her when visiting. If you tell her it saddens you then you are in my opinion respecting both her feelings and your deceased BIL and are entitled to expect your sister to respect your feelings.

Oh it is not a criticism at all, I want to be scattered on our local beach.
My sister and I were shocked that after having a funeral at my parents local church, followed by cremation, the church then wanted more money and another church service to put them in the graveyard! That is why they are at present in a garden pot under a nice flowering shrub. My only concern is that a fox or badger might get at them.