My good lady wife......nooooo!!

DH and I are always "darling" to each other. This is because we both had particularly affection-free first marriages and we like it, so yah boo sucks to those who think it's patronising/whatever else might offend you.

Likewise he always refers to me as "my wife" and I refer to him as "my husband", because 9 years into our marriage we still can't get over the fact that we found each other and we really like saying it.

My husband refers to me as 'management' !

Lady wife... oh dear it is so cringeworthy. You are right. Tell him we overwhelmingly think so. And are shocked that he is so old fashioned ...say anything that will make him stop. Ask him perhaps to supplant it with ‘my lovely wife’ if he doesn’t want to just introduce you by name. He obviously loves having a wife. And loves having you as s wife he just needs a bit of gentle guidance.

IT doesn’t matter why you object to ‘my good lady wife’... if you don’t like it , he should respect your wishes and not use it. No explanation should be necessary...even though it’s so obviously such a patronising ‘little woman’ phrase!

But then it took years for my husband to stop whistling for me ...like a dog! I sometimes still catch him about to do it even now.... he stops himself in time! He still doesn’t know why I objected!!!! Different species... different species !!!

You haven't disappointed me at all Kim19 nice to know I have an ally.

Why don't you introduce him as "my first husband, still on trial period" . See how he responds to that!

TerriBull, I also used to refer to my DH as 'my current husband' when we were first married, as he was my second. It was only said to friends in jest and he used to laugh too. He has referred to me at supermarket checkouts as 'Mum' many times to cause a laugh and for me to sigh and raise my eyebrows.

I don't think I would appreciate being called 'my good lady wife' either. He, of course, may think it is a compliment.

Try referring to him as "have you met my first husband?" might make him think that the patronising plank is not irreplaceable - just a thought

Definitely patronising very old fashioned too.

it was Arthur Daley (or the other one) who used to refer to his wife as "er indoors" in the series Minder -- and it was Rumpole of the Bailey who used the term "She Who Must be Obeyed."
I find the term 'my good lady wife' rather patronising and inappropriate these days, it smacks of Ladies Night at the Lodge. If my husband ever said it about me it would be only the once....
As for men holding doors open for women, I do it for all and sundry and find that other people (of either sex) do it for me in return unless there are special circumstances. It's just good manners.
Is it not best to treat everyone the same? We're not such delicate flowers that we can't manage to open a door for ourselves, after all. I'm not including anyone who has physical difficulties of course. Everyone should naturally open doors (or whatever) for someone who needs help.

I think it depends on how any words are used and the intention behind them. Our relatively newly married son refers to her as 'the wife' and she as 'the husband'.

I can't begin to tell you how much love there is behind both names and how proud they both are to be able to use such terms. Just my thoughts.

I can think of worse things to be addressed as "wifey" is an example. I really can't stand that word or "hubby" either.

How about “the Memsahib” !

"Good Lady Wife", how old fashioned, I think there is a lot of irony in its use now, you could try "Lord and Master" yourself, definitely ironic! I think Lady Wife was originally the mistress of the house.

You could try a few comments that might make him think twice. Such as- "Good- if only you knew what I've been up to!, Lady- well not always. ``Still one out of three isn't bad. We are married."

“There is no pleasing some women” My dad used to say to my Mum.

I agree Jalimal, I can't stand hearing men saying "the wife". We never hear women calling their OH "the husband"!

When he says it next time, follow it up with “ and this is my current husband” ....

The point here is that Katek objects to a term that I presume, not having been told otherwise, her husband uses as a term of affection. It might of course be a bad habit that has stuck. The trouble is that this phrase gets on Katek's nerves and she objects to it.

She is fully entitled to object and to expect her husband to show her the courtesy of introducing her in some other way.

However, anyone who has been married for any length of time knows full well that it doesn't always work that way.

so Katek if you can't get your DH to respect your point of view here, you are either going to have to teach yourself not to hear this, to you, obnoxious expression, or descend to kindergarten level and call him something he dislikes, or finds patronising.

Nankate and Kim19 please add me to your club.
I’m a strong, free thinking, independent woman who loves to be treated like a lady.

Nothing old fashioned about good manners and allowing a gentleman to open a door for me doesn’t make me a delicate flower SionhanSharpe

Katek, I think it’s jolly nice but if you don’t like it can’t you just say so and suggest that he introduces you in a way that’s acceptable to you.

patronising and insincere

patronising and sounds insincere