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(95 Posts)
winterwhite Sat 31-Mar-18 12:10:14

Not meaning to start a new thread if one already exists and I have missed it.
Think this silly ‘upskirting’ business will be short-lived, but it has had nation-wide publicity and it’s exasperating to see so many letters in the papers saying that the solution is for girls to wear trousers to school because ‘boys will be boys’ hmm. What message does that send to boys? What sense does it make of the #metoo movement? Many schools allow girls to wear trousers and many girls do. That isn’t the point, which is that girls should not be made to think that it’s their behaviour that needs to change while the behaviour of boys can’t be helped, and is even funny angry

Situpstraight Sat 31-Mar-18 12:16:30

I think the whole thing is disgusting and from what I’ve just seen , not limited to schools, it seems that any female wearing a skirt is at risk, hopefully the law will catch up with this and make it a crime.
Apart from catching the person doing it and hitting them around the head repeatedlywith something heavy I can’t think that there is much you can do , except report it to the police and then name and shame.
I rarely wear skirts or dresses anyway but it’s a nasty trend.

grandtanteJE65 Sat 31-Mar-18 12:42:33

Years ago now, I had a 12 year old pupil who laid himself down on the classroom floor and looked up my skirt. I pulled him to his feet and slapped his face!

Immediately, the other children said that hitting children wasn't allowed. I admitted that to be true, and suggested we all went down to the headmaster and told him what had happened, and that I was happy to accompany the boy home afterwards and explain to his parents why I had slapped his face.

I never heard any more about the matter; the headmaster supported me in my belief that a boy that age was old enough to know better.

I am not proud of having slapped him, as a teacher I should not have done so, but I do feel that any schoolgirl who takes matters into her own hands and slaps a boy or man for indecent behaviour is well within her rights.

And you are all welcome to disagree with me here, but honestly, people of either sex will behave as badly as the rest of us are prepared to allow.

Anniebach Sat 31-Mar-18 12:56:19

I disagree with you slapping a pupil, loss of control

HAZBEEN Sat 31-Mar-18 12:58:46

This thing of upskirting is almost being treated as school boy fun by some people in the media (mostly men). As usual it would be a different story if it was their mother, daughter or wife. It has long been shown that "peeping tom" behaviour often leads on to assault and rape. These perpatrators should be called perverts which is what they are.

Anniebach Sat 31-Mar-18 13:04:48

Can an 11 year old be classed a pervert

Welshwife Sat 31-Mar-18 13:08:01

You needed to be careful when climbing the stairs of a London bus when I was young or the escalators in underground stations. Tights did a lot to make underwear more discreet!

MissAdventure Sat 31-Mar-18 13:10:23

Whatever an 11 year old is or isn't, it needs to be dealt with firmly. Disgusting behaviour, and certainly not something that females need to be taught to beware of, and alter their clothing in case of.

Anniebach Sat 31-Mar-18 13:16:22

I agree Misadventure , I am not defending the behaviour of the 11 year olds, just think branded them perverts is a mistake

sodapop Sat 31-Mar-18 13:23:04

I have recently read about a man who had a camera on his shoe so he could take these pictures.
Unbelievable that someone would go to these lengths.

MissAdventure Sat 31-Mar-18 13:26:57

Probably to 11 year old boys its all a bit of a joke I'd imagine.
I remember the boy who lived over the road chasing my daughter and pulling her knickers down, thinking it was just another way of annoying her.
Oh boy, was he in trouble when I told his mum!!

maryeliza54 Sat 31-Mar-18 13:35:08

I can remember having my pigtails pulled to annoy me - any boy who pulls down knickers or upskirts is imo demonstrating sexualised behaviour and I would be concerned as to the behaviour he was being exposed to at home. It needs dealing with at once and seriously before it escalates - it may also be that there is a safeguarding issue for the boy himself.

MissAdventure Sat 31-Mar-18 13:38:07

His mum was in tears, explaining that he certainly didn't learn that kind of behaviour at home, and I was absolutely furious.
I think it frightened the life out of him.

Telly Sat 31-Mar-18 13:51:49

OK, I don't get it. I agree that this behaviour is repulsive and probably illegal. Yet on TV we celebrate ladies going topless to bring awareness of breast cancer issues. Mixed messages or what?

BlueBelle Sat 31-Mar-18 13:59:01

Doesn’t make it right and I m not suggesting that at all but hasn’t it always been so I remember it happening when I was young along with boys pinging bra straps I agree the 11 year old needs telling that his behaviour is not acceptable but to slap him across the face even in bygone days is not on at all nor is deeming him a pervert
I remember the humour of my day both seaside picture postcards and the likes of Benny Hill was all about women’s skirts blowing up so men could see their undies Marilyn Monroe and her famous moment, even female tennis players flashing their frillier as they run and jump and even Lady Di with her see through skirt have all played into this ... now a different era much more awareness, and men and boys have to catch up
Men do take longer than women to come to realisation that boundaries have changed

yggdrasil Sat 31-Mar-18 17:23:33

Telly ^ Yet on TV we celebrate ladies going topless to bring awareness of breast cancer issues. Mixed messages or what?^

It all comes back to consent, doesn't it,

RosieGlow Sat 31-Mar-18 22:33:08

Hi I'm new on Gransnet and just finding my way around.
I think that this sort of behaviour should be classed as bullying and dealt with in the same way. The victim needs to be supported to understand that it's not her fault and that she doesn't have yo keep quiet about it. The bully needs to be supported to recognise that it is bullying and that it has a zero-tolerance in the school.
My granddaughter never wears a skirt and has become quite round-shouldered and I think this is a response to the 'up skirting' and general molestation that goes on in schools. I remember a girl in my 4th year Juniors class who had well-developed boobs. The boys were constantly pushing each other into her and grabbing for her boobs. We have to teach our sons and grandsons that it is just not acceptable.

MissAdventure Sun 01-Apr-18 00:19:10

Do the boys actually lay on the floor to 'upskirt'?
It would seem quite reasonable to not be expecting anyone to be on the floor, and accidentally tread on their head!

Blinko Sun 01-Apr-18 09:26:19

I think men and boys need to grow up and take some responsibility for their actions. They have had things their way for far too long. Upskirting is disrespectful at best and downright appalling generally. Like a lot of other male behaviour, it's treated as 'a bit of fun' and 'a joke'. It is neither.

maryeliza54 Sun 01-Apr-18 09:37:42

Rosie I think it’s not a form of bullying ( which needs dealing with of course) - but a form of sexual assault on females by males. It should be made clear that that is what it is and with younger boys safeguarding procedures will be put in place and with older ones there will be sexual assault charges.

harrigran Sun 01-Apr-18 09:42:07

This is just one of the reasons my GD attends an all girl school where they can happily wear skirts, trousers are not part of the uniform.
I would insist on the offender being prosecuted, things like this lead to bigger crimes.

Smithy Sun 01-Apr-18 09:49:44

I totally agree with grandetante, very brave to slap him and it might have totally changed the boy's attitude. I wasn't aware that this "upskirting" had got to be such a problem. I would agree that you can't brand them as perverts but schoolboys need to know that it is not acceptable behaviour.

maryeliza54 Sun 01-Apr-18 09:57:35

Pervert is a silly word - it doesn’t exist in law but the terms sexual assault and sexual offender do and should be used

grandMattie Sun 01-Apr-18 09:58:48

Not just "upskirting"! I have just read a report on the NUT conference that teachers are "down-blousing" their collegues. Will it never end? I accept that we women are "objects of desire", but honestly!!!!
How would blokes react if goosed or their crown jewels squeezed as you walk past, "Nice, lunchbox" comments???

Coconut Sun 01-Apr-18 10:03:22

A short sharp caution from the Police is usually all it needs to focus people on common decency and respect....