So many of these posts ring true for me. I had a happy and secure childhood (despite the war) but at the age of 6, I was taken into hospital, very poorly, with pneumonia and my parents were not allowed to visit, though once they were able to see me through the window. I was a shy child though I didn't make the connection until much later. When I was going through the wounding experience of divorce, I was sitting in the car at traffic lights with tears flowing down my cheeks when suddenly I was a child under red blankets, against big white pillows - right back to that time in hospital. I realised at once, that my fear of rejection went all the way back, thirty years, to my separation from my parents and all my extended family. With the help of a counselling course I was able to understand myself better and began to build my life as a single mum, teacher (mainly of adults) and local politician. I was able to speak in public and make my case forcibly on committees, all too often being made chairman of this and that. My confidence took a big knock when the college where I taught had a round of redundancies and I lost the job I loved - my students were upset too. And I was still a year away from my official retirement age. However, I was still able to take the Ramblers holidays I had enjoyed since the divorce. I moved when I downsized. A group I joined all knew each other well, and although they welcomed me and were very helpful when I had surgery, I have never felt able to break into their circle of friendship. There's the fear of rejection raising its head again. Now, having read this thread, I know I'm not alone. Thank you, everyone. xx