Fear of rejection

When a name is in bold, Bluegal it should be obvious that it is not an acronym. [confused ]

Oh well ... we aren’t all perfect ???

Fair enough, found it insensitive though if not downright hurtful.

I truly am sorry. I would never ever try to be hurtful to anyone. I was only saying that the person who questioned who PAW was was probably new and hadn’t related to MAW part of it. I wish you well MAW and understand your hurt but I can assure you I would never ever be knowingly hurtful to you or anyone for that matter.

Not you!
The poster who asked “What is PAW....” is what upset me.
She is not new and it is an object lesson in at least skimming through a thread before opening her moth and putting both feet in it
?

Mouth, even!

I have always been a cup half empty person and look on the negative side of everything (I'm a real barrel of laughs!). I quite often don't say anything as I'm afraid of putting my foot in it or asking things that are too personal.

Sometimes it is hard for people like me to offer help. Daft though it sounds I feel I might offend someone. maw I only know you from the pages of GN but you have always struck me as a kind person with a wonderful sense of humour. A very much loved wife and mother. I expect over the years you have done quite a lot of helping others. Perhaps it's time for you to ask for help yourself.

For all those who feel lonely or unwanted, I expect we have all at some point felt the same. Post a message on GN, there are many on here who only ever offer support. Find some strength here.

I have become much more confident with age, and even help people to ring around, in difficult situations, I ask if they can help me and usually receive a pleasant answer.
If I ring anyone, friends etc. I always ask if I am disturbing them doing something without sounding like a coward!
MAW your confidence will return, I wish I lived nearer, it would be lovely to be invited for a cup of tea and a chat. Sending hugs x

Sending a wave Maw - x

I’m wishing lots of love MawBroon to you. I do know how it feels to be alone and trying to deal with all of life and its adversities. Just one step at a time. It’s all we can do.

Hi all and especially Maw. Just wanted to add one practical point to the wide-ranging comments already posted. When things seem difficult/overwhelming (such as setting up a new social calendar for yourself in your new circumstances), it can be helpful to set a simple goal to work on rather than try to do too much at once. So e.g. You might set a goal of phoning one friend or acquaintance for a chat today. Or even every day this week. Then you can take things further e.g. Your goal might become one coffee date arranged by you - every week. I hope this helps. It really helped me post-surgery a couple of years ago when I was finding convalescence difficult (but my goals were different, e.g. a daily walk!). Wishing you well, please be kind to yourself and remember that your friends will want to support you, most people need to be needed (IMO!) ?

Bluegal
If you are struggling with our Acronyms, they are all listed and explained at the top of this page!
My comment about reading through threads to discover who people are was placed because of the cold, unthinking and heartless way someone had asked "What is PAW'", when she's been around long enough to know.
Surely, some thought should be applied before a comment is posted, it was a very hurtful thing for MAW to read, and completely avoidable!

Maw - it will come back. I've been widowed twice, once in 1995 and again in 2015. I recognise what you say about fighting on behalf of your OH, but then being tentative and anxious about asking on one's own behalf. I'm three years on after my last bereavement and I'm regaining my confidence. It's slow, but one day you just realise you're your own person again. Good luck

I think it is so much easier asking/fighting for something on behalf of someone else. My first hubby had MS and I fought many a battle on his behalf for things I thought he deserved. I also worked with adults with LD and the elderly and again, thought nothing of asking for something on their behalf. But when I became ill and had to give up work, my confidence just flew out the door and I didn't have a clue. I always feel as though I am having to go, cap in hand, for anything I need to help me. It's as though we are always thinking, there are other folk worse off than us that could use this money/help, whatever. It's horrible, but you are not on your own. I can only suggest trying a bit of mindfulness, instead of thinking you may get a rebuff, try and think how you deserve whatever it is you need/want. Think that's how it's meant to work.