Coffee? (Not what you think)

If the gran has been giving a taste of coffee when she knows DIL is against it that is obviously wrong, most children don't like it anyway as it is so bitter. Wonder what DIL would have done about the old grans who used to give a finger soaked in sherry for the baby to suck on!

"Most" children dont like things because they aren't given the chance to taste them luluagust Thats a bit of a bugbear with me ,mine ate all the same things we did ,yet when we visited friends or went out to eat out came what they call childrens food.Sausages,macaroni,etc .Mine used to be incensed that there wasn't childrens portions of real food.

I totally agree with you there paddyann why do restaurants and cafes assume that all children want eat is fish fingers, sausages or chicken nuggets? My grandchildren have always eaten whatever we/their parents have. Curries, stews, casseroles,pastas, roast dinners etc. I can’t see why they can’t offer just offer everything in smaller portions.

My children were never allowed caffeine and didn’t even drink tea until they were about 11 years. I certainly wouldn’t have had a row with someone giving a child a sip.

Decaf anyone?

Enjoyed your comment re. Outrage Opportunity Baggs

Well said grandetante. Your last two paragraphs.

I used to love to have the cold dregs from my Dads coffee as a child ( not every time, just occasionally).
Maybe the grandma should not have done it, but I do think there is an over reaction by some on this thread. It was a taste, for goodness sake, not the whole cup. I hardly think the child will become addicted to caffeine as a result of a small taste. Wonder if she's allowed to drink coke? ?

It's never crossed my mind to offer GC coffee to taste, or tea. I now worry about all the (supposedly healthy) fruit juice I've provided for them.

Did no-one else have children who, behaving like the young apes that they are, and learning by copying what is good to eat and drink and what isn't, asked (not necessarily in words; we have a photo of Minibaggs as a toddler sitting with her dad on the settee, with half her hand in his champagne glass. I forget what the occasion was and he had his free arm around her, and didn't even realise till after I'd taken the 'snap') to try a bit of whatever?

A sip here and a taste there isn't going to harm a child.

But then, I'm a bad mother who gave my kids up and over mocha sponge pudding several times in their growing up years. It never occurred to me that the small amount of caffeine in it would do them any harm. And, do you know, it didn't.

I also gave Minibaggs very milky tea when she was wee. It was the cows' milk that caused her (minor) problems, not the caffeine.

Some modern parents need to chill a bit. There are plenty of things they need to protect their children from. An occasional sip of granny's coffee isn't one of them. As with illegal drugs, the banning and policing of things like caffeine, can cause more harm than actually being a bit relaxed about them.

The yelling and screaming scenario that the mumsnet OP was about is far more likely to encourage screwedupness.

I was a bad mother too Baggs.My DC all had sips of wine, beer, tea and coffee when little and decided they were all vile. Their taste buds just aren’t the same and they don’t like bitter as a rule (I don’t take sugar, like strong coffee and used to drink dry wines). It stopped them even looking at grown up drinks until they were old enough to appreciate them.

DGS is a wilful child who constantly pushes his boundaries and, when a toddler, went to drain my coffee cup. His mother was shocked when I let him try a sip, telling him he wouldn’t like it. His face was a picture and he has never attempted to steal grown up drinks since!

When DS1 was about 3 we had a party, unknown to us he was wandering around taking sips of all the drinks people had put on the floor beside their seats.
To say he was sick is an understatment, now the most he can stomach is a half pint of Shandy, he is in his 40s.
Here you can buy Table Beer which is 2% alchohol, and many children are allowed well watered wine from a young age, DGS doesn't like it.
We have fewer problems with young people and alchohol because it is not seen as the forbidden fruit I think.

I never gave my DC coffee or tea until they were about 10 years old. I do occasionally give milky tea to 7 year old DGC because DD’s do.
Ultimately it is the mothers decision and not Granny’s.
I remember being furious with MiL for giving PFB sherry from her finger when he was 3 months old.

Gillybob I quite agree and why is there rarely a vegetarian option on children’s menus it’s always sausages or fish fingers? as my family are all veggie it’s a special bug bear ?

I remember my SiL tearing her hair out and dropping with exhaustion with her first born. He just wouldn’t settle and obviously considered sleep a waste of time. MiL went to stay to give some support and relief. SiL thought she had a magic touch as the baby promptly starting sleeping through the night. It was some time before MiL admitted to the teaspoon of brandy she slipped into his late night bottle! I’m not condoning it but got him into a new routine and doesn’t seem to have done lasting damage. (He’s now in his 50’s and very successful.).

Many local independent restaurants here do Seniors meals. Smaller portions of the main menu. Do you have similar where you are jenpax? Its mostly the chains which do the standard junk food for kids although McDonalds do veggie stuff I believe.

No I have never seen pensioner meals in any of the places I eat at. I don’t go to McDonalds as I like to eat good quality fresh local stuff from independent cafes but I was thinking more of department store and similar cafes where invariably the children’s menu focuses on fish or meat

Somewhere I have a photo of DS2, aged 4, clutching a pint glass of bitter - not his own, of course, but I wouldn't be surprised if he'd had a small sip before his dad reclaimed it. Now a middle-aged dad himself, he has not grown up to be an alcoholic - far from it.

My mother in law thought I should give my children tea and coffee. I quoted Dr Spock, “Tea and coffee contain caffeine and most children are quite stimulated enough already”
That still holds good.

I would think this should never happen as the child might in the future try a cup of coffee that is very hot and get burnt.

MiL does something.
DiL says "I'd rather you didn't do that."
MiL says "Sorry, I won't do it again." End of situation.

As it turned into an argument, I'm guessing there's more to it. Probably on both sides.

Yes, FarNorth, I think you are right.

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FFS! The grandma gave the child a taste of her coffee - you'd think she shared a spliff or a whisky!

But I too was once a prissy young mum - was horrified when my mother, who had kindly looked one-year old DS2 for two weeks …. when I turned-up to collect him was tucking into a bag of chocolate buttons!

I didn't complain, and his teeth didn't fall out.

I remember many years ago when I was working my DH used to take DD and DS round to visit friends and they had "Mellow Birds Coffee". They would have been around 6 & 7yr old at the time and it was the highlight of their week. They are in their 40s now and both coffee drinkers (like their mother!).

When his mum had her morning coffee, my toddler GS (now a teenager) would have his 'coffee' - ie, a spot of decaf in a cup of warm milk. It certainly hasn't made him an addict. In fact, I've been in coffee shops with him and never known him to order anything remotely related to coffee!
This is all a fuss about nothing. I'm sure most of my GC have, in their time, had a tiny sip of something an adult was drinking and usually turned up their noses and taken no further interest.