I don't think caffeine is suitable for children and, if my mother or mother-in-law had given my children a sip of coffee, I would have politely asked them not to do so.
However, I wouldn't have had a row over such a thing.
The fact that the situation escalated into a row makes me wonder how the daughter-in-law spoke to her mother-in-law.
Tone of voice and wording can be very important.
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