Rude Songs!

Annie ~We are always being told that education is a lifelong thing. You are never too old to learn and that includes rude songs.

What I missed by failing most A’levels

I didn't learn these songs at my convent either. But three years at uni educated me in many ways.

Annie!

I just came back to this thread. What a laugh. It fair cheered me up. I especially like the one about Nellie. Not the rudest but I knew those ones already.

They are on uTube ? To misquote Capt Oats, ‘ I am just stepping outside of this forum, and may be some time.

Many inappropriate songs were heard by spending time at my father's rugby club! A favourite was the following, sung to the tune of Le Marsellaise. WARNING you are likely to think of these words every time you hear the beautiful French national anthem (I know I do!), So don't read if you don't want to take that chance!

A Frenchman went to the lavatory,
To enjoy a jolly good shit;
He took his coat and trousers off,
So that he could revel in it;
But when he reached for the paper,
He found that someone had been there before
Ou est le papier, ou est le papier;
Monsieur, monsieur, j'ai fait 'manure';
Ou est le papier!

You do need the tunes as well as the words, Anniebach. I hope you can find Youtube renderings of the songs.

polly, our teachers were also chapel members , no escape ?
I hadn’t heard one of these songs but never to old to learn

Ha ha Annie I thought I had replied but clearly did not press post! I was a good chapel girl but did not learn these songs there! From tge school playground mostly. Mind you most of the ones I know are just mildly smutty, some other examples given have been really filthy and a bit shocking!!

Thanks Monica, now I'll be looking for a chance to use that expression!

correction! your version of the chorus was.......

seacliff Sorry, Thomas Bowdler, was an 18th century doctor, who published 'The Family Shakespeare'. Shakespeare's plays, with all the improper bits removed. It was intended to provide a version of Shakespeare suitable for reading in the family home.

As a result the verb 'bowdlerised' gets used to describe any material which has been sanitised by having all the improper bits removed.

I was being flippant. My version of the last line of the chorus was just a bit more 'restrained' than the version I knew

Thanks yggdrasil I hadn't heard many of the verses before. It's a bit near the knuckle as they say. Sign of my misspent youth I'm afraid.?

MOnica ….they say you learn something everyday, and somehow I had never heard that expression "bowdlerised" before, interesting.

I googled the verses, all I could remember was the chorus. Trust me to find the cleaner version!

Annie

I haven’t heard one of these, for some reason they weren’t sang in The Band of Hope

Old goat

A memory stirs.

A rich girl wears a ring of gold
A poor girl one of brass
But the only ring that Dinah wears
Is the ring around her arse

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLotX3HE-4c

Memory has failed now. Sorry.

Sodapop Thanks! It's past midnight again [yawn] and on my way to bye-byes having just had a verbal joust with another Netter, but felt I had to acknowledge.
If my memory serves me right and it usually does (still) I now recall there were 4 verses.
I'll return later this morning, hopefully. (evening!)
Cheers

I can't remember all of it but it went something like this
Twas on the good ship Venus
By hell you should have seen us
The figure head was a nude in bed
The masthead was a penis

Memory has failed now. Sorry.

There was a young girl from Cape Cod
Who thought babies just came from God
But it wasn't the almighty that lifted her nighty
It was Roger the lodger , the s*d.

(Sorry! I'll go and wash my mouth out with soap now)

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon
10,000 volts went up its a*
And turned it’s wool to nylon

I’ll get my coat.........

because the songs seem dirtier
Elegran; Thanks for that! Whether I get responses matters not a jot. I have no control over Netters- it's a free choice and I'm quite sure they'd soon enough let me know via private messaging, which is what it's for I presume, and which I'd prefer you to use if you have something personal to say.

I can't remember seeing you at my recent birthday bash, but you would have noticed how well conducted it was with no back-biting, hair-pulling or so-called dirty jokes. I felt very much at home.
Now I'm 91 years young you're probably regarding me as the stereotypical "dirty old man", but I assure you I don't possess an old raincoat and you can't accuse me of being senile, not yet thankfully.
Sorry to have "bent your ear" in public, but that's where you attacked me. I'll be very happy to continue our discussion in private; up to you.
OoRoo

seacliff I think you bowdlerised it! The last line of the chorus I learnt was

..and do it again, and again, and again