Rude Songs!

Then there is"Singing 'I will if you will, so will I'" to the tune of "She'll be coming round the mountain", with verses like " Oh, I'd love to press her naval . . uniform" and "She's got a lovely bottom . . set of teeth"

Oh if we are going into rugby songs.. What happened to those 4&20 Virgins off to Inverness?

The song doesn't go into detail, PECS, but when the ball was over there were four and twenty less.

Which sounds like the comment that if all the girls at the May Ball were laid end to end the author would not be at all surprised.

No-one has mentioned "Roll me over, in the clover"

Not a song, but does anyone remember 'To the woods' 'But I'm only 16'' 'Who's counting?' I'll tell the vicar! 'I am the vicar!' Etc

Elegran this one?

www.goodreads.com/quotes/60540-if-all-the-girls-attending-the-yale-prom-were-laid

No, I got that wrong! It's: 'I'm only 13! I'm not superstitious!'
Elegran I had completely forgotten 'She's got a lovely bottom set of teeth' etc. Can't remember the other verses either.

I remembered some of this, but had to google to find all the verses

Now, this is number one
And the fun has just begun.
Roll me over, lay me down,
And do it again.

[CHORUS]
Roll me over, in the clover,
Roll me over, lay me down,
And do it again.

Now, this is number two,
And he's got me in a stew.
Roll me over, lay me down,
And do it again.

[CHORUS]

Now, this is number three,
And his hand is on my knee.
Roll me over, lay me down,
And do it again.

[CHORUS]

Now, this is number four,
And he's got me on the floor.
Roll me over, lay me down,
And do it again.

[CHORUS]

Now, this is number five,
And his hand is on my thigh.
Roll me over, lay me down,
And do it again.

[CHORUS]

Now, this is number six,
And he's got me in a fix.
Roll me over, lay me down,
And do it again.

[CHORUS]

Now, this is number seven,
And it's just like being in heaven.
Roll me over, lay me down,
And do it again.

[CHORUS]

Now, this is number eight,
And the doctor's at the gate.
Roll me over, lay me down,
And do it again.

[CHORUS]

Now, this is number nine,
And the twins are doing fine.
Roll me over, lay me down,
And do it again.

[CHORUS]

Now, this is number ten,
And he's started once again.
Roll me over, lay me down,
And do it again.

Elegran, crossed posts, great (or dirty) minds!

Yep I also sang the worm song at school in London.
I was completely floored one day when my then 7 year old DD sang proudly 'ooh ahh I lost my bra, I left my knickers in my boyfriend's car'

Martha I remember Andy Willians quoting that which his 6 yr old told him. He asked her 'Why did she leave her knickers in his car' she replied 'I don't really know perhaps she was changing for PE?'!!

Twas on the good ship Venus
Sodapop; Given that you've claimed to be one of the "raunchy lot", could please post the full works, or anyone else come to that?.
I can then print out some copies for our "Over 80's Club" singalong.! By Thursday will be fine.
Many thanks!

Surely you know that one Rufus!

Pollyperkins; I do now! But is that all there is?

Cheers

OH and I have had a good laugh reading these rhymes. He's just reminded me of one about a young lady called Dinah.

Dinah, Dinah show us yer leg
A yard above the knee,etc

The rich girl uses Vaseline
The poor girl uses lard
But Dinah uses axle grease

Sorry, can't remember the next line!!!

Rufus You do know how to use Google, don't you? I hope your reluctance to do your own research into this subject isn't because the songs seem dirtier to you when you can imagine a laydee singing/reciting them? That would completely put a lot of gransnetters off replying to any of your posts

I should be ashamed to remember most of these.
Plus a ruder version of Popeye the Sailorman.
And a selection of rude limericks.eg
There was a young man of Devises
Whose balls were of two different sizes.
The one that was small
Was no good at all
But the other was big and won prizes.

seacliff I think you bowdlerised it! The last line of the chorus I learnt was

..and do it again, and again, and again

because the songs seem dirtier
Elegran; Thanks for that! Whether I get responses matters not a jot. I have no control over Netters- it's a free choice and I'm quite sure they'd soon enough let me know via private messaging, which is what it's for I presume, and which I'd prefer you to use if you have something personal to say.

I can't remember seeing you at my recent birthday bash, but you would have noticed how well conducted it was with no back-biting, hair-pulling or so-called dirty jokes. I felt very much at home.
Now I'm 91 years young you're probably regarding me as the stereotypical "dirty old man", but I assure you I don't possess an old raincoat and you can't accuse me of being senile, not yet thankfully.
Sorry to have "bent your ear" in public, but that's where you attacked me. I'll be very happy to continue our discussion in private; up to you.
OoRoo

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon
10,000 volts went up its a*
And turned it’s wool to nylon

I’ll get my coat.........

There was a young girl from Cape Cod
Who thought babies just came from God
But it wasn't the almighty that lifted her nighty
It was Roger the lodger , the s*d.

(Sorry! I'll go and wash my mouth out with soap now)

I can't remember all of it but it went something like this
Twas on the good ship Venus
By hell you should have seen us
The figure head was a nude in bed
The masthead was a penis

Memory has failed now. Sorry.

Memory has failed now. Sorry.

Sodapop Thanks! It's past midnight again [yawn] and on my way to bye-byes having just had a verbal joust with another Netter, but felt I had to acknowledge.
If my memory serves me right and it usually does (still) I now recall there were 4 verses.
I'll return later this morning, hopefully. (evening!)
Cheers

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLotX3HE-4c

Old goat

A memory stirs.

A rich girl wears a ring of gold
A poor girl one of brass
But the only ring that Dinah wears
Is the ring around her arse