Childish husband/grandparent

I agree with you pollyperkins whatever happened to tolerance and compromise. As for the 'dump him' brigade words fail me, if its not that they are diagnosing the poor person with all manner of mental health problems.

Thanks Sodapop. On re-reading this thread I think I went a bit OTT earlier but was thinking also of another current thread about an 'unreasonable' husband where a lot of the advice was quite unnecessarily aggressive (towards husband) I thought. There is a place for tolerance, discussion, compromise etc. I am not, and never will be, a doormat, but do try to think of his point of view too and we manage to rub along ok.

pollyperkins8 good post, I agree

sorry, I don't know where that 8 came from

“I choose to be a hands on grandparent”, sounds to me like, “ I choose to be an unpaid babysitter”.
He’s done his time and wants to enjoy his retirement. Cut him some slack!

I choose to be a hands on grandparent does rather sound like I, Me, Myself

Surely there should be some discussion and compromise?

We look after two dgc 10 and 7 on one day each week. On a separate day we look after their cousin who is 2 yrs. There is also the occasional sleep over.
There are also days when one parent is not working and will say.... have a day off.
You can see my dh's face change when he realises they won't be with us as anticipated.
This means that generally speaking, we give 2 days a week childcare with meals and homeworks done where necessary.

We have 6 dgc. Genetically, 5 are his, 1 is mine. Three are abroad and it is the 3 who are local that we help out with ... and are 'really his'.
But not really we love and care for them all equally no matter whose is whose.

I purposely use 'we'. Happily we both do everything that is involved in their care for the day. It helps that one dad when leaving says to his two.... Don't forget - Granny's got the power !! The power being the authority to remove ipads or games at any time for any reason, without argument.

If a girly lunch falls on a day we have the dgc he is happy that I take myself off for 2 or 3 hours. (If I'm off out I delegate the power to Granda )
By the same token if one of dh's sport hobbies falls on a day we have the dgc he goes off to it without diffs. It's swings and roundabouts.

We are fortunate that we agree on the amount of care and the matter of discipline etc. We also both agree very firmly that we don't want to do any more than we are doing at present. The exception of course being an emergency.

It’s all very well for those whose DH’s are prepared to sit down and discuss, but there are plenty of others who seem to get grumpier and more childish as they age.

Getting old can mean getting set in their ways. Add to this mix hearing loss (that’s harder than many realise), aches and pains, more easily tired, not sleeping well, MCI, etc and live can become difficult for some couples.

It’s especially difficult when one partner is more active and outgoing.