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Need to let off steam

(43 Posts)
NanKate Mon 08-Oct-18 22:11:46

I have been a total wally and am so stressed about it.

My soon to be ex-DinL will be leaving the family home soon and I am worried about my two young GSs and how it will affect them. They will live with their Mum half of the time.

So I have been online tonight booking tickets for the pantomime on Boxing Day in order to cheer them up at Xmas. It will be DS, DH, me and the boys. It has cost a pretty penny but it is worth it. My DS thought it was a really good idea to take the boys minds’ off the new family arrangement.

Then my DH said ‘you do know the boys are with their mother on Boxing Day’ ?

I have sent an explanatory email to the theatre and will phone them tomorrow morning, but I already know theatres are very reluctant to change tickets

What a mess. Thanks for listening.

Marydoll Tue 09-Oct-18 13:33:27

Great news Kate

NanKate Tue 09-Oct-18 15:28:39

Jacq10 the children are 5 and 7. The youngest has TOLD my DH not asked us the following ‘when Mummy and Daddy split up I am going to live with you and Nanny’. My DS had to repeat this in a Mediation meeting so that our DinL didn’t think we had put ideas into his young head. I am sure eventually they will get used to living half the week with each parent but the first few months could be bumpy.

Phew Marydoll my DH earned some brownie points for sorting it for me. He is like a dog with a bone when he want to achieve something, however in this case the theatre was very helpful.

Nannan2 Tue 09-Oct-18 16:17:24

Id love to arrange something for boxing day or a holiday over xmas wk for one of my granddaughters but its also her birthday so shes always already booked! I cant always get to see her on the actual day either as we live in a different county but her other gran always does as she lives round the cornersad

NanKate Tue 09-Oct-18 16:31:03

Life's not fair Nannan2.

Greyduster Tue 09-Oct-18 16:43:47

Well done Mr NanKate! Glad it worked out okay!

debohunXL5 Tue 09-Oct-18 17:50:22

Hi NanKate
I am pleased you got things sorted out. When I booked to take my GC to the christmas pantomime in DEC 17 I was told by my SIL that I would be 'diluting the children's memory of the last family outing the children had with their mother'. I was actually following my daughter's wishes as she was intending to take my GCs to the christmas panto but obviously couldn't as she passed away in April '17. She asked me to take them as she knew my SIL wouldn't as he never took them anywhere. Fortunately I had paid insurance of about £3:00 and I got all my money back. It's worth doing that in future and not rely on the theatre's goodwill. Better luck next time flowers

Melanieeastanglia Tue 09-Oct-18 20:38:10

I think the theatre will change the tickets but they may make an admin charge on each ticket. In the past, I've had to make changes and I've been charged £2.00 per ticket.

All is not lost. You will probably be able to salvage the situation.

I don't know if you get on with your STBXDiL but you could perhaps try asking her if she minds swapping days.

NanKate Tue 09-Oct-18 20:55:29

For any of you who haven’t seen my earlier comments DH kindly phoned the theatre for me and they were happy to change to a date when my DS has the boys, so we are sorted. What a relief.

I have as suggested highlighted in green when the boys are away from home.

Yes Melanie I have been careful never to have any verbal upset with STBXDINL but it has been very hard. I could be the conduit between both sides of the family so I am determined to be civil.

Debo what a very sad story. Perhaps you could fulfill your DD’s wish by taking them to a show, such as the Lion King, when they are older.

NanKate Tue 09-Oct-18 20:57:21

On second thoughts Debo maybe the Lion King is not appropriate, but I am sure you could find something they would like.

grannyactivist Tue 09-Oct-18 21:08:47

NanKate - so pleased you got that sorted. My son is a single dad and so I well understand the complexities of outings etc. that have to fit in with the schedule of who has the child/ren at any particular time. Fortunately my son and his baby's mum are genuinely 'co-parenting' and so there is a certain amount of flexibility. This year it's my son's turn (that of course means our family's turn!) to have the little one for Christmas. Hooray!

NanKate Tue 09-Oct-18 21:43:00

GrannyA it helps to know that others on GN such as yourself have experienced what DH and myself have in store. It has been 15 months of sheer hell for my DS and Us but we are on the brink of my STBXDIL signing the financial agreement. It took her 6 months to sign the divorce papers as she would not sign one for her adultery even though she spends a lot of time with her beau, but she would sign for her unreasonable behaviour. Anyway it is all water under the bridge.

I just want my DS to meet someone to love and care for him but it is early days and he needs to get used to the new set up first. He says he will find it hard to trust anyone again and marriage is out of the question, so no new outfit for me then ?

Patsy70 Tue 09-Oct-18 22:01:57

Great news NanKate. I usually find that theatres are accommodating, especially around panto time. Have a lovely time together. Not an easy time for you all, but you'll be supporting each other.

NanKate Wed 10-Oct-18 07:33:27

Absolutely Patsy. My dear old mum used to say in times of trouble ‘All the family needs to close ranks’ and that is exactly what we have done and pulled each other through the many crises we have experienced.

Magrithea Sun 14-Oct-18 15:48:30

We've done this and booked the wrong day! Most theatres are very happy to change days, particularly at such a peak time as Boxing Day. Good luck!

Doodle Sun 14-Oct-18 21:59:48

nankate the boys will love your treat but most of all they will know they have a grandma who cares for them. Very important in times of change. Hope and pray that things go smoothly for the family.

NanKate Sun 14-Oct-18 22:27:01

Thanks Doodle yes I am sure the boys will love the show. The boys will need lots of love and support when their mum moves out. Others have faced it so we will too.

M0nica Mon 15-Oct-18 19:17:20

Currently I love people who either get tickets for the wrong day or can't go after all.

We have just had a wonderful evening out. We booked a fortnight ago and the only seats available in the theatre were 2 in the dead centre of the first row of the dress circle, probably the best seats in the house - and we got them. I can only assume that the people who booked them originally had to pull out and they were put back on the market and we checked availability within minutes, if not seconds of that happening and were able to snap them up.