I want to stop

I liked that Martin Lewis described Christmas gifts as "tit for tat" giving much of which is tat. Let's not forget that every bit of manufactured tat comes with an environmental cost. The thread on Iceland's palm oil advertisement shows that people do care.

This year we will only be buying for the little GC & GGCs their parents will have a nice box of biscuits the DCs still at home will have a token present .

I buy one gift for my friend, and give money to the family. The Bodach and I don’t exchange gifts, and I don’t send cards. We’re in Tenerife for Christmas, so the pop up, ready decorated and lit tree will make an appearance or the children, then go back into the loft, A stress-free Christmas for me!
We did the whole ‘ big Christmas ‘ when the children were small, so I’m happy to leave them to do their own thing.

( You may have guessed I’m not a fan)

for the children!

It is not only adults that get too many presents but children also.
When my grandson was little he got so many presents and suddenly stopped opening them and said'I asked Father Christmas for a train set and he gave it to me.
Why have I got all of this stuff as well?"

My older grandson told me a few years ago.
"My dad buys me loads of stuff, my mum buys me loads of stuff. Then I'm always in trouble for not being able to keep all this stuff that I didn't want tidy!"

A number of years ago we had this problem. I took the bull by the horns and suggested that gifting be stopped. Everyone sighed a sigh of relief that this was happening. Of course I still buy for very close family, and a couple of friends I make their Christmas Cake.

I'm in the same position, buying for my daughter's step children. I might see them once a year and they don't speak or make eye contact when I do see them! I have never been thanked either.

We agreed years ago that we only give Christmas presents to the people we actually invite or are invited by at Christmas. This has saved a lot of hassle.

We send Christmas cards by post to my SILs and their husbands are we are on close terms with them and to some elderly friends who we know are not familiar with computers. Everyone else gets a Christmas e-mail.

This really needn't feel difficult, so many of us have 'bitten the bullet' to deal with our xmas gift list. Just a friendly text saying you feel it's time to cut back on xmas presents, that after this year you're just going to concentrate on family you see at xmas. I've done this with cousins, sister's family and friends, everybody agreed they thought it was a good idea. I don't tell them I'm donating to charity instead as that's not their business. Come on bite the bullet- make that text- tick it off your one more thing to worry about list. Good luck.

LancLass1 and MissAdventure

I loathe the "let's open the presents now" when children are overwhelmed by a succession of competitive adults pushing presents on them saying “Open mine, open mine!”

As fast as he (or she) can open one parcel but before he has had a chance to explore the new toy, another is thrust on him and then another and another until a very confused, overwrought child is surrounded by piles of new stuff and doesn't know where to turn. It usually ends in tears with the child being told off when it wasn't his fault at all.

I hate that a particular uncle still gives my ungrateful adult children 30 pounds each year.My children have enough and for once should be able to buy them something as well.I have said no more as my children should start giving snd not receiving. Very ungrateful take take take.
No more and you know they wont even care or miss it. As far as im concernef a quick thank you uncle on the day doesnt cut it.

DDs suggested the other day that we don't give each other presents although one DD has 2 DDs and they will get presents (probably a voucher for the teenage one). DH was disappointed, he loves opening presents! He's also very generous but the DDs and I don't need anything. In the past DH and I have 'bought a cow' or something similar for friends/close relatives. Most people appreciated getting a card saying they'd bought a cow or an education pack for a child or a latrine although one or two weren't impressed. The DD with the two girls exchanges children's presents with a half cousin with a smallish child. Last year we had a £20 limit between us.

We have 6 children, 5 of whom have partners and children. At the moment, they still buy for each other and the kids. My DD is on a very low income and would like to stop buying for everyone and do a Secret Santa for the adults so that they can get one decent present each. Unfortunately one of the wives is insistent that she still gives presents because she likes it. The fact that she gives cheap, cheerful stuff, sometimes badly home-made, which nobody is likely to ever want or need is the salt in the wound for my DD because she feels she can't stop if this wife won't stop. It has become a bone of contention so this year, in about July, my DD messaged everyone to say no presents please. Unfortunately the awkward wife wrote to everyone saying she'd already got her presents so would be giving them out.
I feel that if she persists, they should just stop giving and it will be their choice but they don't want to upset her so on it goes. I wouldn't mind so much but they all moan to me!!!!

The fact that one person chooses to buy presents wouldn't make any difference to me.
I still wouldn't reciprocate.

Hi everyone! ! Xmas gifts I have one son (not married)and my fabulous husband.we give each other a gift to open (they both said having a day off work and xmas dinner that we all enjoy was the best xmas present)every month we give a direct debit of £10 to the salvation army,and we buy a new toy (from amazon)put in a box and in November give to salvation army to give to kids who usually get nothing.

For the last couple of years or so I have asked my friends and family to donate to the local Foodbank instead of giving us presents. By not buying presents, I can then afford to add a good few extras to what I would normally hand in to the Foodbank myself.
I buy for my Gt Grandson, but all the rest of my grandchildren are now adult, and they have enough to do with their hard-earned money, than buy presents for us, when really, we need nothing.

If someone wants to give a gift, then let them. It may be giving them pleasure to do so.

I buy gifts for my husband, mother, children plus my sister. There are too many nephews and nieces and they are all adults now. I like to send and give cards (I make my own).

If it gives pleasure to do these things then go ahead, but to feel obliged is not the right way to be.

We agreed to only buy for nephews/niece (my daughter) up until they were 18 then just a card afterwards. It was a bit different for me as my nephews are not that much younger than me as my sisters in law were 15 and 13 years older than me. I bought for my gt nieces and gt nephews until they were 18 as well. I now have four little gt gt nieces (4, 3,2 and 1 month) and I will buy for them until they are also 18 (assuming I am still here that is!). I don't spend a huge amount - usually around £10 per child, then is is £40 for each of my five grandchildren, I send my son and dil £20 each (along with the money for their two children as they are all in the US) and my daughter is getting a hand knitted oversize jumper I am knitting plus a cowl scarf and two tickets for an event at our local Memorial Hall later in 2019 that she wants to go to. I am moving more towards making gifts in the future rather than buying them so it will probably be hats/gloves/scarfs etc for Christmas!

We are a grown up family and give only the grandchildren presents. They of course make or buy presents for their Mum and Dad. I have a very pleasant Christmas no stress and no presents except if GC gives me something.

If you stop the stop will probably be welcome.

I really dislike receiving gifts from people we never see (unless distance/logistics is an issue, in which case if they are interested they skype/call/write). What's the point? If they were INTERESTED in my kids they would visit/invite/call etc. I do not know why they do it. I would rather they showed some interest in spending time knowing us.

The gifts from relatives that don't see my kids just heighten how uninterested they are in them because they are not in any way related to the child's personality or interests.

The POINT of gifts is that you see something you think they will like and you want to give a token to show that you like having them in your life.

As for great aunts/uncles giving to great nieces/nephews, I think it really depends on the relationship.

As a rule of thumb I would say give when you see. I.e. if a grand niece/nephew is going to be visiting or hosting you, have a gift ready for them. If you won't hear from them or see them, dont.

I send flowers at Christmas to my brother and sisters, and a few good friends. The grand children and their parents - my sons and daughter in laws get cash. Done.